Relationship trouble...seeking advice

annandale

You can't make things better. All you can do is respect her feelings. If it's going to work out then it will in time. As harsh as it sounds if she's fallen out of love with you that's something she needs to work through. Either the feelings will return or they won't

justme111

What stands out to me that neither of you have support network of friends hobbies social activities- unhealthy situation to be in. Why do not one of you stay with children while another gets out of the house taking turns?
Fear is not attractive. You need to process your situation in a way that does not involve fear

pinkshoes

#1 rule of relationships - they require EFFORT to keep them going!

Sounds to me like you have both got in a rut and no longer putting enough energy into your relationship. I'm not surprised if you both work full time and have two young kids!

You need to have a re-think about what you both want from life and try and remember why you got together in the first place.

Me and DH haven't had sex since before our twins were born and they are now 14 months!!! We are probably more 'friends', but still have fun, going out at weekends with the kids, having date night once a week (taking it in turns to plan the meal and pick an activity).

Both write down what you WANT to do, then make adjustments.

determined_new_ms

we are in a similar situation. We took custody of our 11 month old granddaughter, weren't expecting to have kids (I met my partner when my children were teens) most of our relationship was about us, investing in time together, having fun. Then our lives changed beyond belief, money is tight and we don't have many babysitters - occasionally my bff can have her overnight, and oh's mum does sometimes but she has a very full life.

we are kinda accepting that things have changed and are having to look at new ways of doing things. We are both trying to do things more independently - I lost my social network because of the extended trauma I went through with my daughter - so I am trying to rebuild this, but on a shoestring. .

We also had booked a days al to celebrate our anniversary in the day while dgd was at the cm's. I guess we just have to be more creative in ways that we can be close. Our sex life also has suffered but although frequency has reduced (read diminished!) when we do it's still really good. I think at this stage of raising a child things do change, but it won't be this way forever

Fireflyaway

Sounds like you are both just busy and exhausted. Working full time with 2 young kids, sleep deprivation etc would put most people off sex! Also its natural the excitement of a new relationship isn't there after 18 years but that can be good in some ways. Your wife clearly loves and trusts you enough to be honest and not put on a façade so that's a plus. Remember that age plays a part. Some woman find they have a drop in sex drive in their late 30's onwards. Its a hormonal thing and nothing to do with not fancying their partner!
If nothing bad has happened it sounds more like boredom. Not even with you but the situation. Are you going on holiday this year? Take some time out. Pick somewhere with a kids club. Make plans for the future and remember things get easier as kids get older. They will start to lie in, go to friends for sleep overs etc!