Divorce - consent order - unequal but agreed. Formality or subject to scrutiny?

McAnniee

swingaloo wrote: »

If your spouse is happy to walk away with a 15% split then no wonder you are wanting to get it done and dusted before anyone tells them they are probably entitled to more.

I would hope a good solicitor would make them see sense.

Do you think that after 17 years that 15% is a fair figure?

My reply disappeared?!?! So I'm trying to rewrite it.

Spouse is the one pushing for closure. I was happy to let things lie, but they want the divorce done and dusted so they can re-marry. And have gently pushed me for "any reply from your Solicitor? Can you chase them??" etc.

We are still good friends and talk normally as friends other than I can't live with them any more due to the new relationship. So we have talked openly about finances. Spouse is a bit rubbish with anything admin and legalese etc related so I spelt it out quite clearly: (something like) A solicitor would suggest you go for more. A lot more. More like 50/50. But if you won't want that to happen then discuss that with them"

Spouse said to me when they were leaving (something like) "Finances, let's just each keep what we have. I won't pursue you for anything and presumably you won't pursue me for anything since you're much better off."

I've offered £10k verbally and said to my Solicitor I'd be willing to go up to £25k if the court demands it.

swingaloo

So its not even a 85-15 split. If the pot is approx 250K then 15% would be £37.5K.

You are offering £10K but willing to go to £25K if pushed.

Again, do you think that is fair after 17 years?

LannieDuck

(I have no personal experience of this, this just just my opinion.)

Normally, inheritances gained during the marriage would be considered joint-owned for the purpose of dividing up assets (rightly or wrongly). I understand you've both agreed otherwise, but your post earlier seemed to be an explanation of why you should be allowed to keep it all - ethically you may be correct, legally that's not how it works.

I think the ease (or otherwise) of this division will depend on how thoroughly your spouse is supportive of it. If they get their own legal representative, and are fully aware of their rights etc., and still decide that this division is what they want... they'll probably nonetheless have to convince a judge.

And if at any point your spouse thinks this may be an unfair settlement, I suspect you'll find the legal system will agree with them.

LannieDuck

swingaloo wrote: »

So its not even a 85-15 split. If the pot is approx 250K then 15% would be £37.5K.

You are offering £10K but willing to go to £25K if pushed.

Again, do you think that is fair after 17 years?

£10k is 4% of £250k. There's no way a judge will sign off on a 96:4 split.



Even if you set aside the £35k from your dad, that leaves a pot of £215k. What's the rationale for not offering 50% of that?

Lunar_Eclipse

McAnniee wrote: »

Spouse has said (and I trust - call me naïve if you want but I have reasons) that even if a solicitor could legally argued this, they (Spouse) wouldn't pursue it.

Since you say you believe in fairness and presumably don't wish to see your wife financially destitute in the future, you should suggest a 50:50 split. Why haven't you done this? Greed, jealousy, anger?

You've been married for 17 years. Trying to get something like a 96:4 split is farsical and you probably know that, hence this thread. You're effectively trying to steal her money and get her to agree to it; I wonder if you've thought of it like that. All assets belong in a jointly owned marital pot.

You haven't come up with a single explanation as to why you have suggested such an unfair proposal. Your wife saying 'let's just leave the marriage with what we have' is either her being completely naive, or she's playing you because she doesn't want the direct confrontation and her solicitor will have told her/will tell her your proposal won't stick legally. And you make yourself look bad. It looks like you are taking advantage of her lack of financial knowledge (does she even know the value of your marital assets?) or emotional desire to leave the marriage. Judges don't take kindly to one party trying to shaft the other - you could get penalised for it in the courts (ie be ordered to give her more!)

So consider doing yourself a favour, avoiding unnecessary delays and do the right thing proactively.

You've certainly got balls to put forward the proposal you have.

Person_one

Its interesting that the OP has been very careful to avoid revealing the genders for some reason, but posters have made varying assumptions.

I presumed the OP was female based on the username, others seem to have assumed they are male, maybe because they are the higher earner?

jackieblack

Person_one wrote: »

Its interesting that the OP has been very careful to avoid revealing the genders for some reason, but posters have made varying assumptions.

I presumed the OP was female based on the username, others seem to have assumed they are male, maybe because they are the higher earner?

I also presumed the OP was female based on the username.
On the OP's other thread they refer to their spouse as 'he'.

LannieDuck

Person_one wrote: »

Its interesting that the OP has been very careful to avoid revealing the genders for some reason, but posters have made varying assumptions.

I presumed the OP was female based on the username, others seem to have assumed they are male, maybe because they are the higher earner?

I was careful not to assume either way, and given there are no children involved (where women still tend to be pushed towards the childcare role with the associated career implications), I don't think it matters in this instance?

Person_one

LannieDuck wrote: »

I was careful not to assume either way, and given there are no children involved (where women still tend to be pushed towards the childcare role with the associated career implications), I don't think it matters in this instance?

No it doesn't really matter, I just always find it intriguing when posters are so very very careful to stick with 'they' and 'my spouse' rather than 'he/she' or 'him/her'.

Presumably to avoid gender biased replies, but people just make assumptions anyway!

springdreams

McAnniee wrote: »

My reply disappeared?!?! So I'm trying to rewrite it.

Spouse is the one pushing for closure. I was happy to let things lie, but they want the divorce done and dusted so they can re-marry. And have gently pushed me for "any reply from your Solicitor? Can you chase them??" etc.

We are still good friends and talk normally as friends other than I can't live with them any more due to the new relationship. So we have talked openly about finances. Spouse is a bit rubbish with anything admin and legalese etc related so I spelt it out quite clearly: (something like) A solicitor would suggest you go for more. A lot more. More like 50/50. But if you won't want that to happen then discuss that with them"

Spouse said to me when they were leaving (something like) "Finances, let's just each keep what we have. I won't pursue you for anything and presumably you won't pursue me for anything since you're much better off."

I've offered £10k verbally and said to my Solicitor I'd be willing to go up to £25k if the court demands it.

One has to wonder why your husband is so keen to move on so quickly ...

Perhaps the other woman who his planning to marry once your divorce is final is willing to let him stay at home rather than expecting him to go out an earn a living as any other able bodied man without children would be expected to do?