£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

enthusiasticsaver

Unfortunately this is what debt does. It depresses you because you are working hard and obviously you are but you are paying the price for lettting it get so high and so much of your disposable income is being used to pay for past mistakes rather than enjoying yourself now. This will be a long road though so you need to change this mentality of I work hard so I should be able to spend without thinking whether I can afford it.

You either do as you have been doing or you do as Keith suggests and loosen the strings and resolve for 10 years of this. This however assumes no disasters like redundancy or sickness occur which obviously no one can foresee. It also puts paid to future plans like moving house, saving for retirement or university for your kids. However maybe when your kids are older you may be able to bring in more money when you don't have to worry about childcare and can look at doing something which brings you in more income. I hope your DH gets a payrise as that will help.

ada-or-ardor

Could you and hubby put a date in the diary on a weekend soon where you have some fun as a family? Doesn't have to be expensive - afew extra bits in the L1dl shop for a nice breakfast together, and if you time it right with kids being at clubs or whatever, maybe a nice lunch or dinner for the two of you?

I also think you're probably hitting your threshold for managing a budget - but ultimately it is a lifelong habit, and eventually it will take up less stress and less of your mental energy, as things get easier and you habituate to the peaks and troughs. It's annoying when your budget goes all out of whack. There's not much else to say!

I won't repeat what everyone else is saying about how it is frustrating having to pay for your past habits and not have that money available to use but you know you are now doing the right thing; once you paid all this off, one day you will have your money back again, and things will be much easier. Go back and read your first few posts - you are doing a fantastic job but maybe a family day at home or a date night with hubby in the next month would be a good idea to remind you why you're doing it :-)

Keep on trucking!!!!

Ada

enthusiasticsaver

TOPM Why does your soa show debt as £57474 in February including your parents loan of £20k and yet you are working towards £67031 to pay off? I have read the first few pages to see if that is explained but may have missed it.

Cherryfudge

Just wanted to second what ada is saying...

ada-or-ardor wrote: »

Could you and hubby put a date in the diary on a weekend soon where you have some fun as a family?
Ada

My heart goes out to you reading about missing time as a couple and as a family... so very difficult to find that time. Could they come and help you do the daily 10,000 steps, perhaps? It would be free and healthy, and maybe only a fifth of that is 'extra steps' as you are running round doing things anyway - so a 20 minute walk with DH and the kids would be a bit of quality time for all of you and give the kids some good memories and a life-long healthy habit?

Probably not something to do every day but once or twice a week would still give time to talk, and sometimes people talk better when they are busy doing something else.

Treadingonplaymobil

keithmac wrote: »

I cleared 25k+ of personal debt over 5 years while still looking after the family, it was very hard work but you've just got to knuckle down and get it done unfortunately.

I had a 5 year plan from the outset and kept a weekly tally of all my payments out and balances, it was motivating seeing all the balances decrease weekly and that's partly what kept me plugging away at it!.

You mentioned 7 years on your earlier post and to be honest if you can clear 60+k in 7 years than that's very good going!, personally I'd be looking at a 10 year plan for that.

Just keep at it!, when you get down to the last £1000 is an amazing feeling.

Holiday wise we went camping, the kids loved it and I don't think they missed out on any life experiences due to me tightening my belt so to speak.

At least you realise you have to make some hard choices and seem to be turning the corner, good luck!.

Thanks for that, inspiring to read! A five year plan would feel like a total dream at the moment - we are looking at 7 years best case, and realistically it could be more if we really can't make our budget match reality. I have said several times I'd like to be debt free by 40 (erm, 5.5 years), but I think we probably need to accept that unless things change in terms of income once DC3 starts school that's unlikely.

Treadingonplaymobil

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Unfortunately this is what debt does. It depresses you because you are working hard and obviously you are but you are paying the price for lettting it get so high and so much of your disposable income is being used to pay for past mistakes rather than enjoying yourself now. This will be a long road though so you need to change this mentality of I work hard so I should be able to spend without thinking whether I can afford it.

You either do as you have been doing or you do as Keith suggests and loosen the strings and resolve for 10 years of this. This however assumes no disasters like redundancy or sickness occur which obviously no one can foresee. It also puts paid to future plans like moving house, saving for retirement or university for your kids. However maybe when your kids are older you may be able to bring in more money when you don't have to worry about childcare and can look at doing something which brings you in more income. I hope your DH gets a payrise as that will help.

I know we need to shift that mentality, but knowing it intellectually, and actually knowing it at the end of another long day and just wanting an easy solution to dinner and to look forward to a weekend together instead of working, are two very different things! We'll get there.

ada-or-ardor wrote: »

Could you and hubby put a date in the diary on a weekend soon where you have some fun as a family? Doesn't have to be expensive - afew extra bits in the L1dl shop for a nice breakfast together, and if you time it right with kids being at clubs or whatever, maybe a nice lunch or dinner for the two of you?

I also think you're probably hitting your threshold for managing a budget - but ultimately it is a lifelong habit, and eventually it will take up less stress and less of your mental energy, as things get easier and you habituate to the peaks and troughs. It's annoying when your budget goes all out of whack. There's not much else to say!

I won't repeat what everyone else is saying about how it is frustrating having to pay for your past habits and not have that money available to use but you know you are now doing the right thing; once you paid all this off, one day you will have your money back again, and things will be much easier. Go back and read your first few posts - you are doing a fantastic job but maybe a family day at home or a date night with hubby in the next month would be a good idea to remind you why you're doing it :-)

Keep on trucking!!!!

Ada

Thanks Ada. The biggest problem is just carving out the time on the weekends, because it means me not working, and me not working directly correlates to me earning less. It also feels like every time there's any chance of just some simple family time, it ends up booked up - all our parents are divorced/remarried and we have a sibling each. so often our limited free weekends are used visiting one or other of them - even if we visit one parent/sibling a month (they all live a long way away too, so a weekend trip if we go), it still means we only see them every six months or so!

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

TOPM Why does your soa show debt as £57474 in February including your parents loan of £20k and yet you are working towards £67031 to pay off? I have read the first few pages to see if that is explained but may have missed it.

Confusing, I know! The Tesco loan shows in the account with all the interest added, and when that total is added up with the other debts, it came to the £67,031 figure. However, if we were to redeem our debts today, obviously that interest would be refunded, so our true debt is actually more like £57,000. And since it seems likely that by the time we've paid all the CCs off (since juggling the 0% deals is proving trickier at the moment) we won't be overpaying that debt by much, so our true final repayment figure will be close to the £67,031 figure. Does that make sense?

Treadingonplaymobil

Cherryfudge wrote: »

Just wanted to second what ada is saying...

My heart goes out to you reading about missing time as a couple and as a family... so very difficult to find that time. Could they come and help you do the daily 10,000 steps, perhaps? It would be free and healthy, and maybe only a fifth of that is 'extra steps' as you are running round doing things anyway - so a 20 minute walk with DH and the kids would be a bit of quality time for all of you and give the kids some good memories and a life-long healthy habit?

Probably not something to do every day but once or twice a week would still give time to talk, and sometimes people talk better when they are busy doing something else.

I tend to get my steps in either during the day (with DC3) - in the evenings I am working pretty much every evening - DH comes home at 5:30, I finish making dinner for 20 mins or so if it's not all done, we all sit down to dinner together for 45 mins or so, then I work for 2.5 hours while he get the DC ready for bed, then we do chores and go to bed about 9:30. :eek:

Also that routine has to encompass Beavers (Monday), Cubs (Tuesday) and swimming lessons (Friday), and I work 3/4 of weekends. We quite often manage to sit down together on a Friday evening, but even that has fallen by the wayside recently as I've had clients every saturday so have been preparing (which I am NOT complaining about - it's been great to have the income coming in).

Treadingonplaymobil

You can all just call me Moaning Myrtle.... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Suffolk_lass

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

You can all just call me Moaning Myrtle.... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Don't you worry about that. These diaries are here to vent and moan as well as tracking your progress. And we are here to listen and try and help... and try not to tell you how to live, just suggest things we think might help. I know my own journey feels really slow and not enough but it is the best I can do.

My friend once consolidated all their debts into their mortgage. It seemed like such an attractive interest rate. Nightmare! I'm sure they're still paying for it, nearly 25 years later. I paid over £1000 in interest on my (0.74%) interest rate last year. That's why I'm doing this. To get rid of it all.

Cherryfudge

Treadingonplaymobil wrote: »

I tend to get my steps in either during the day (with DC3) - in the evenings I am working pretty much every evening - DH comes home at 5:30, I finish making dinner for 20 mins or so if it's not all done, we all sit down to dinner together for 45 mins or so, then I work for 2.5 hours while he get the DC ready for bed, then we do chores and go to bed about 9:30. :eek:

Also that routine has to encompass Beavers (Monday), Cubs (Tuesday) and swimming lessons (Friday), and I work 3/4 of weekends. We quite often manage to sit down together on a Friday evening, but even that has fallen by the wayside recently as I've had clients every saturday so have been preparing (which I am NOT complaining about - it's been great to have the income coming in).

Crikey - you do well to fit all of that into a mere 10,000 steps! Well, maybe we should just be saying - here's to some top clients who make the most profitable use of your time and hopefully the children will sleep through it.

The frantic years don't last forever, meanwhile I hope you get enough r&r to sustain you while you get the money straight.