£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Treadingonplaymobil

Great to get all of this feedback on gel stuff, thanks everyone!

Have had one of those very busy doing lots of little things days today, where you don't stop but haven't actually achieved one big satisfying thing by the end of the day. At least have ticked plenty of little jobs off my list.

to do today:
1. make sourdough. Done.
2. make flapjacks for snacks. Done.
3. catch up on my smaller business - a few orders to pack. Done.
4. pop to the shop for a top up of milk/butter/fruit and veg - trying to use up store cupboard ingredients this week, but we need a couple of bits. I'd like to keep the spend <£20, so there's room to spend another £20-ish later in the week. Done - came in at just under £15.
5. finish another bit of contract work. Done.
6. Get another laundry out onto the line while the weather's nice. Done - two loads.
7. clean the kitchen floor properly. The glamour. Somehow managed to avoid finding the time to do this one :rotfl:

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. Down another 0.2kg today. I'll take that!
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. Sat down with DH last night and did this. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks.

motivated

Hi TOPM

As for the kitchen floor mine looks constantly dirty as my dog drinks his water all day and it's like a tsunami in there every time he drinks. I spend more time behind him with the mop than anything else

Just noticed your signature and it being in the 64s :beer: well done you have done amazingly well.
M

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 13: Day 3

Knackered - took the children out for a bike ride yesterday with DC3 in the trailer. My thigh muscles are like jelly this morning! Was a great free activity though, one to remember for days when we have nothing to do. Also managed to get back to doing a yoga pose this morning that I haven't been able to do for months thanks to weight gain - finally feel like I am getting fitter and healthier after a winter of piling on the pounds!

Have just had a booking for another little bit of work this weekend. I was looking forward to a quieter couple of weeks, but I'm not going to say no to work either!

I mentioned my kitchen floor fail to DH yesterday and he cleaned it after I'd gone to bed, bless him. :T

to do today:
1. send follow up emails from work last week
2. phone to swap the day of the DC's swimming lessons (this means we will be able to walk there and save the couple of quid on parking each week).
3. catch up with social media
4. order birthday presents for best friend and godson. Was trying to think of a handmade enterprise that I could finish in time, but am devoid of inspiration.
5. hand washing. Boring.
6. 10,000 steps
7. scavenge from the freezer for dinner

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. 0.2kg down
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. Sat down with DH last night and did this. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks.

XSpender

Hi TOPM

I have enjoyed reading your diary from the beginning over the last few days and you are doing so well in reducing your spending. I have pinched a couple of ideas too.

I feel your pain with the food bill as this is the one outgoing we struggle with the most.

Keep at it, I will be cheering you on.

XS

Treadingonplaymobil

Food shopping is my nemesis! I do kind of know where we're going wrong, but it seems like such tiny indulgences (a punnet of blueberries each week, a couple of avocados, nice chocolate) which all add up to put another £10-20 onto the bill each week, which (unsurprisingly) adds up to £50+ extra each month, even without any unexpected catering for friends and family.

Thoughts on budgeting for today

Expensive purchases:
Getting the bike trailer out and using it yesterday made me think - I have literally never the regretted big purchases which we have carefully planned and researched. The bike trailer is a Burley Cub (expensive) but is so well made and has lasted through all three children without any damage or problems, and feels really safe for them. We did tons of research before buying. The same has applied for clothes, house purchases etc - when it's planned and carefully thought through, it always seems worthwhile long term. It's the whim purchases (cheap or expensive) that have proved to be poor value for money in the end.

The missing piece of the puzzle has, of course, been budgeting for those big purchases. I think the answer for us is not always going to be budget options, but buying carefully and budgeting for what we buy. I know this is counter to some people's MSE journey, but it's definitely held true for us.

Where the debt has come from:
I was trying to rationalise where our debt actually came from yesterday, and I have identified a few sources, looking back over old statements. This has been bothering me as I have been blaming myself/my shopping, but I decided that actually even I couldn't have built up all that debt (and spent the savings we previously had) single handed. We moved house 5 years ago and made some big changes, which is when the spending of savings and accrual of debt really began.

1. Living expenses: when we first moved across the country 5 years ago, our rent went up by £300pm and our petrol bill by £150 per month. Over three years (until we bought our house nearer to dh's work and our mortgage was £300 less than the rent had been again) this adds up to £16k.
2. Childcare - we had childcare for 2.5 years after moving, at an average cost of £700pm. £21,000
3. Overspending on food - a key problem area for us. I reckon even though we kidded ourselves we were 'budget', we were spending a good £200pm more than we should have been, for five years. £12,000
4. Camping gear - when we moved we started to do lots more camping, and bought new tent and have bought extra gear each year. C.£1,000 in total
5. House purchase (solicitors, survey, couple of new bits of furniture etc) - c.£5,000
6. Travel - I had assumed we would see some holiday expenses, but actually apart from buying the camping gear, we've only been abroad to France twice, both on the cheapest ferry crossing, plus the odd £50 for a campsite pitche. Well under £1,000 in total over the whole 5 years. Disappointing in a way - it would be nice to have lots of amazing experiences to make us feel better about the huge debt!
7. Business expenses - I propped up my business for a long time. C. £500pa for 4 years before it began to make a profit. £2,000
8. 'Small scale' poor choices (buying clothes when we couldn't afford it, nice family days out, beauty treatments, kids clothes, too many family weekends in London) comes to around another £15-20k in total I think, so around £1,500 per year. Not so small scale when you add it all together!

Suddenly I see that it's been big scale poor choices far more than small ones which have led to our loss of savings and massive accrual of debt. In a way this is reassuring, as it suggests we have resolved the big contributory factors (no paid for childcare, smaller mortgage payment etc), and explains why there isn't tons of expensive 'stuff' kicking around.

Obviously the 'small' scale stuff has contributed it's fair share, and will continue to scupper our chances of being debt free if we let it, but it's interesting to see how those big numbers add up over a five year period and massively affect the total.

No real conclusion, as the numbers are what they are and now we have to cut our cloth appropriately, but it gives me hope for the future, as long as we identify any future potential big bad choices before we make them.

Cherryfudge

That's a really interesting list and heartening in that some of those costs are now behind you.

To me, the possibly ongoing 'small scale' leaks are the food (as you know ) and those things in 8... time to look hard into discounts of all sorts, I suppose, because doing without those nice things all the time will be hard. If you're willing to do 2nd hand clothes shopping, 3bay is always worth a look, though it's dangerous for me because I end up falling for things I would not have spotted otherwise! There is an MSE page which gives lots of ways to cut costs if using 3bay (sorry if you know all this, which you may well do!) and other sites such as fatfingers which help you find mis-listed items (it seems a lot of people can't spell 'Hollister').

Regarding food shopping, I can't think of any cheap source of avocados apart from discounts at the end of the day. Blueberries can be cheaper frozen and chocolate is a matter of taste. My DH likes milk chocolate, particularly from L1dl, which has a more continental flavour. All I can suggest is to try different ones and if you don't like them, you don't get them again. Or shop on line as some people prefer to do.

Somewhere on this site there is also a demotivator tool. You put in the price of the treat and it tells you for instance what you spend on avocados per year - guaranteed to find something alarming somewhere!

Anyhow - your list is well worth doing. If you go over it again at some point in the future you may find more tweaks.

Treadingonplaymobil

Cherryfudge wrote: »

Somewhere on this site there is also a demotivator tool. You put in the price of the treat and it tells you for instance what you spend on avocados per year - guaranteed to find something alarming somewhere!

Anyhow - your list is well worth doing. If you go over it again at some point in the future you may find more tweaks.

Demotivator tool sounds terrifying! I should probably try it

Treadingonplaymobil

I'm aware that my post earlier might have sounded like I was making excuses, which wasn't my intention. Rather the opposite, in a way. My sums started because I was beating myself up about overspending, and trying to work out how it had happened, and it became apparent that in the absence of a wardrobe stuffed full of gucci and prada, there had to be another culprit somewhere. Interesting to see that were it not for the debt, we would be now living perfectly comfortably within our means. I suppose that's the case for everyone after their LBM though! Would have been helpful if we'd been doing it for the last five years rather than the last three months. We live and learn.

to do today:
1. send follow up emails from work last week. Not done, ran out of time.
2. phone to swap the day of the DC's swimming lessons (this means we will be able to walk there and save the couple of quid on parking each week). I outsourced this to DH and haven't actually asked him if he's done it yet.
3. catch up with social media. not done. So much for catching up this week.
4. order birthday presents for best friend and godson. Was trying to think of a handmade enterprise that I could finish in time, but am devoid of inspiration. Have come up with a handmade plan for friend, and ordered a present for godson. Only just within the very limits of my budget (£20), but at least it wasn't another tenner over, which is what I'd normally do.
5. hand washing. Boring. Done though.
6. 10,000 steps. Am up to 9,200! About to go and walk laps of the garden as DH is out so I can't go walking.
7. scavenge from the freezer for dinner. Done! Fairly uninspiring, but also free and using up leftovers, and nobody starved.

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. 0.3kg down
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out on Sun (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks. And nice family park trip yesterday. That's probably our lot for the week though

Honeysucklelou2

Food shopping is where my budget falls down too, so I do sympathise. I haven't tried them myself because Avacadoes aren't something we eat but I did notice frozen avocado halves in Tesco this week...may be worth a try?

enthusiasticsaver

Rationalising where debt comes from is definitely worth it because hopefully it will make you stop and think when making decisions in the future. None of the things you did were necessarily bad and I agree that cheap things don't last but the key message is you have to save and budget for these things. I think you know this now and as your debt is decreasing now decisions you are making now will bring your debt down over time.

There is no magic answer to getting out of debt and staying out. It is simply spending less than you earn.