£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Sea_Shell

Glad to hear that the mediation went well, and it seems like they want to talk you through one step at a time, rather than look at the whole, which could be overwhelming.

If the decision is to sell, then it may be worth posting on the House Buying / Selling area of the forum, as there are some very knowledgeable people over there, who should be able to give you some great tips on getting the most out of your sale, even without the work being finished. But, like you say the value might have to take a hit, as not everyone is looking for a "project".

Also, I know you wouldn't want to ask, BUT, is there a chance, in the circumstances, that your Mum would be happy to write off the loan to you, IF that is the part you end up responsible for? I'm guessing that as the re-payment terms are already very loose, these could be stretched out to the never, never! I'm sure you want to be able to pay your Mum back, but she might consider it like a "gift" to the children, as in the end, they're the ones who'll benefit from you not being in debt, long term.

As always, just a thought!

Treadingonplaymobil

Hey gang! Haven't updated here for a few days so thought I'd pop in and say hi. Nothing particularly new to report. House sale is still the plan, but we need to work out timings/how much work we can do on the house first. Hoping to get that clear in the next week or so, so we have a plan to take back to our next mediation session.

Total food spend for January (excluding random bits of cash from using up loose change etc, which probably amounts to another tenner), looks like it's going to come in at £240.76. I have a tenner left in the food budget for this month in case of emergencies in the next three days! Meals are getting odder and odder but there's still a lot of food in the freezer (including loads of frozen veg) and food cupboards, so I'm challenging myself to go as long as possible without buying any meal ingredients, just fresh fruit, milk, flour and sugar etc! I really need to defrost the freezer, so eating it down as far as possible before doing that makes sense.

Have had a really good week of work since last Monday - I made a 12 week business plan a little over a week ago, and usually I make these things then they go in the cupboard and get forgotten. This one is up on the wall and I've actually crossed off every single thing from week 1! I've made it pretty cautious so I don't get overwhelmed and end up doing none of it, but actually it feels really nice to be making baby steps towards the amazing business I know it can be.

Working at the office I do contract work for today. Lots of meetings about a possible new long term project with them, which would mean another few hundred quid a month if it comes off, which would be AMAZING. Keeping everything crossed.

One of my other little wins this week has been creating a nature/seasonal table in our living 'room' (part of the big open plan living space created by the extension). We used to have one when DC1 and 2 were younger, but haven't done it for years. Loads of inspiration on Pinterest, and a really nice way of bringing a bit of the outside indoors. I've been avoiding doing one because I didn't have the budget for buying the lovely playsilks/wooden figures that would make it Pinterest-worthy, but after the £100 overspend last week I decided I needed to cheer myself up for free, so I just created one from what I had lying around. It's not perfect, but it makes me really happy and the DCs seem to really be enjoying engaging with it, adding bits and bobs and playing with it.

Speaking of the DCs, the newly instigated chore chart is SUCH a huge win. I think I've already said that, but it continues to impress me every single day. They are now making their beds and laying the table daily, one is helping with dinner one evening each week, and they are helping with hoovering and clearing their rooms a couple of times a week. I can't believe how much it's already lightened the load on me, and it does feel like it's turned us into more of a team making the household work, rather than me being the slave who keeps it all running while everyone else relaxes. Have I mentioned how much I love being the only adult I have to negotiate with?! Obviously there are challenges with sharing the space with XH, but I love the fact that on the whole I don't have to ask anyone else's opinion when it comes to managing the house.

Matymoo dog crisis was indeed chocolate related. The same dog (who is such a total thief you wouldn't believe, can open door handles, and climb onto the sides and open the WALL cabinets in the kitchen) ate almost a full kilo of dark chocolate before Christmas and was in the vet's for a week, hence my panic over the tiny quantity (like 15g) consumed last week - his liver function was only just back to normal. I'm fairly sure the vet thinks we are hideously negligent.

Sea Shell great idea about the buying and selling forum - best case scenario is that we might have a couple of thousand to spend, so it's going to have to work hard to maximise our profit! My mum would love to write off the loan, but it's actually the money she had put by for my sister in the event she ever wants to move out of London and buy a house (she gifted us £20k when we bought the house, as well as providing . the £20k loan). I can't wait to get my final figures from the separation though, so I can really focus my energy on paying off the debt in order to free myself from all the negatives of it.

GeorgianaCavendish

Welcome back TOPM, great to see you posting again I just googled Seasonal Table out of curiosity and the ones I saw online look so cute, very tempted to make one for myself!

Honeysucklelou2

Well done on making a chore chart work. I have a battle with this as often feel I'm running around to get everything done.

Verbatim

To stop the dog stealing the chocolate have you thought of putting child locks on the cupboards he can open?

MatyMoo

Knew it would be chocolate related :mad:

My three were staying with the dog sitter (2 adults, 3 children in the house) while I went to a concert in London, hadn’t even got to London when I got a call to say two of them had raised a cupboard & eaten chocolate :eek: Costly for her & a worry for me ........

Im not sure you are the same person TOPM :rotfl: But I love the new improved version :T I am sure you didn’t want the children doing chores as you felt it would spoil their childhood??? That change, and the budget improvements are amazing!

lindez

Hi TOPM
Just caught up again I popped in just before New Year and you had not posted I really missed your posts.
So sorry about the break up with your husband. It is really good news that your separation is amicable how wonderful (mine was dreadful many years ago though we both found happiness again which was and is good).
Good luck with your business adventure I will look forward to your updates.:)

Sea_Shell

Good Morning

Did you have your meet up with XH's new partner? How did that go? Have the kids met her yet?

Have your kids met your NC yet? How did that go?

How old are the kids now, 10, 8 & 5??

Glad to hear the chore chart is going well, and they are pulling their weight. It does them no harm at all to be involved, and learn what's involved in taking care of a household and that's it's not all done by magic fairies!!


On the house front, where are you with your mortgage balance now? I see from your signature that it was £191,000 in Sept 2018, after your remortgage, so with 16 months worth of payments having been made since then, it's hopefully come down quite a bit.

Sea_Shell

I hope you find your way to the new forum... it's all a bit different!!

They've moved all the cupboards round and I can't find anything.

debtaghh

I'm struggling too and my subscribed threads are not showing on my phone 😡