£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Treadingonplaymobil

Morning everyone! I am just settling down for my first proper day's work of 2019. I am further ahead on my contract work than I thought I was when I finished off for Christmas, so am really pleased to be able to sit down and spend some of today putting some more specific plans in place to match my goals.

One the domestic front; yesterday DH and I sat down and took a critical look at the best way to manage the food shopping and prep, which is a serious time suck for me. Because we have taken the decision to keep our weekends basically completely free (you might remember I am a sucker for saying yes to family gatherings and summons to visit relatives - well we are currently looking at a 2019 with, thus far, not a single weekend committed apart from my one weekend per month working and holidays, and intend to keep it as close to that as possible to allow us and the DC proper weekend down time). Food-wise, we have settled on getting a fruit box and a veg box delivered weekly and stocking up on store cupboard stuff with a supermarket delivery every 2-3 weeks, plus topping up on dry goods in the zero waste shop every 2-3 weeks, which is all a lot less of a time commitment than my current method. We're also playing with relaxing the menu plan a lot, so it looks more like 'Monday - pasta, Tuesday - vegetable soup to use up the last of the veg' etc, rather than specifics. I've no idea how this will work out, because we've had such a strict menu plan for so long, but we'll see. The only set items are those which need batch cooking for packed lunches, like crackers, flapjacks and sausage rolls, which can be cooked and frozen on the weekends. The aim is to reduce the stress and the drama around food prep for me, and to ensure that we are all nourished to the max - the illness level in our house this autumn was truly ridiculous (not just mine) and I think we were all incredibly run down. I am also investing in high quality vitamins for us all, which we'll take until the end of the winter and then restart in August ready for the onslaught of returning to school - I don't think we need them year round as our diet is pretty good, but I'm hoping they'll give us a boost when we need it. I know some are dismissive of vitamins, but I have a very visible way of showing they work for me - I get bad cracks in the corners of my mouth when run down, and they go when I take a good multi-vitamin.

All the illness has been such a wake up call for me. I think I've said this, but I've spent so long thinking that if I just pushed a little harder I could do everything a stay at home parent does (and more), plus work 25 or so hours a week and be effective at both of those things. I think I actually needed to be consistently ill for such a long stretch to realise quite how badly that way of thinking was serving me (and by extension the family, as I organise and manage so much of our lives). I have seriously reprioritised, and dramatically cut down on my daily expectations of myself. One small thing that has really helped is buying a diary with a week per double page spread rather than a bullet journal - without a space constraint, my lists become huge, but with only a 1"x3" space per day, I can only give myself so many things to do! It's a good visual reminder of when I'm over-filling my schedule. I'm trying to be really stern about only one big item per day to do on work days, with maybe one or two smaller tasks.

My goals for today are to:
1) set an income goal for the next 3 months (something between zero and tiny), 6 months (a little more), 12 months (a reasonably income) and then for 2020 (a more than reasonable income).
2) work out what investment my business still needs and how that is going to be covered.
3) prepare the house for clients tomorrow, and celebrate that after tomorrow I have only two more sessions with clients in the house before I stop seeing them here (I will still go to clients' houses, but the renovation work means I am stopping seeing them here at all. I'm aiming to stop seeing clients entirely within the next few months, but at the moment I'm trying to take and be grateful for the extra little influxes of cash, even though they are distracting me from my website work, just for a little longer. I don't have a finish date set in stone yet).

DawnW

So pleased to see that you are being kinder to yourself TOPM, and reducing the scarily high expectations that you had of yourself

lovehackney

I've been reading your diary since you started it, but also not commented before - I am at a very different stage in my life to you, so I have mostly been reading the diary just for your writing - so I would love to be able to read your new blog when it gets off the ground. Best of luck with the new venture - I wish I had the guts to invest in doing my own thing!

Sayschezza

It must also take a little of the pressure from your dH shoulders as he must also have been feeling the need to do more hours to bridge the money gap.

cha97michelle

I think it is Zinc your deficient in when getting cracks at the corner of your mouth. Hope you work out the balance to you life and you keep posting. You were a miss when you weren't posting. x

PurpleFairy26

Best of luck with your new venture and the build in 2019 TOPM hope it brings all that you want and more. We're building too this year and it's getting very real. Today is about clearing out shed :rotfl:

arsenalbarnie

Hi TOPM nice to see you back posting. Re vitamins if I were you, would do a bit of research on them. Trust me I'm a Doctor on BBC2 did a programme about them and I think most of it was pee'd back out. Vitamin D is worth taking and is recommended all year round, along with B12 in the US I believe. If you're worried about your illnesses this Autumn and I remember it well when mine were young, maybe pop along to the GP for a blood test to check for anything you may be deficient in. I am not suggesting you subject your children to this tho! Am not a great believer in vitamins, maybe you can guess! I expect your children get a healthy diet. Good sleep and no stress and plenty of good fresh veg, let's hope your new business plans will help you in this. So glad to see your endless lists gone.

I have a dog and am outside a lot so was gobsmacked recently when I discovered my vit D was very low. In fact you have just made me remember I need to start taking it!

Suffolk_lass

I have not posted since you returned as I am one of the people who has regularly encouraged you down the debt reduction path and it feels as though your route is now completely different so I was reticent about making any contribution. However, your reference to a cracked mouth resonates.

I get cracks in the corners of my mouth too. I have always interpreted it as a form of eczema, triggered by a combination of foods that don't work well in me. My triggers (the things I cut down on that make it go away) are sugar, caffeine and yeast. I can feel when my gut is out of balance nowadays and after Christmas is always disastrous, after drinking more alcohol (yeast in the fermentation), eating lots of chocolate (sugar and caffeine), cheese (including blue) and shop bought bread (more yeast and sometimes sugars).

Many years ago I visited a homeopath who tested my food triggers. I did not tell her about the foods I had already identified I had a problem with but her testing completely reinforced that. I do an exclusion thing for about 6 weeks every year or two and it all calms down again. I have tried vitamins too and they helped, but I found I could rebalance through diet and understand better what is going on.

I wonder if some of my "magic bean" foods might help you too. I up the seeds and nuts in my diet - especially pumpkin seeds and add oat bran to cooking , baking especially (it sucks up bad cholesterol). I also have some wheatgerm that I add to my bread (when I make it - it is a combination of easy dried yeast and sourdough, and I use organic mixture of wholemeal and white flours with wheatgerm and seeds added - a kind of super booster in January. Assuming you still bake bread this might work for you (maybe worth a try).

We are going to go for some vitamins this month (the rainbow ones for over 50s!).

I would like to follow your progress and I sincerely wish you success and all you wish for yourself.

jonnygee2

Food-wise, we have settled on getting a fruit box and a veg box delivered weekly and stocking up on store cupboard stuff with a supermarket delivery every 2-3 weeks, plus topping up on dry goods in the zero waste shop every 2-3 weeks, which is all a lot less of a time commitment than my current method. We're also playing with relaxing the menu plan a lot, so it looks more like 'Monday - pasta, Tuesday - vegetable soup to use up the last of the veg' etc, rather than specifics

That's just about how I handle food and it's pretty effective Only I buy veg as and when, but I live near a lot of cheap fruit and veg shops.

I've certainly learned to stretch the limits of what can go in what.

I am also investing in high quality vitamins for us all,

Waste of money. There's no such thing as 'high quality vitamins'. There's just normal vitamins, and vitamins + expensive marketing campaigns. Your 'investment' is not in your family, it's in the lucky shareholders of the overpriced vitamin manufacturers.

In the UK winter, vitamin D tablets are advisable (supermarket brands are fine). You should get everything else through your diet - if you show signs of vitamin deprivation then you aren't eating healthily enough - consider reducing 'white carbs' in meals and increasing the amount of vegetables instead. Using supplements could actually increase health risks to you and your family, as well as increasing your debt problem.

Fla603

De-lurking to say I’m team vitamins! (Not that you actually asked for anyone’s opinion ��).
I’ve also seen programmes about how we pee most of it out and should be getting our nutrients from foods but I do feel better for taking them... placebo effect perhaps? After taking a variety of vitamins, including the expensive branded ones during pregnancy, I’m a big fan of Bo0ts Complete A-Z. Other multivits have made my stomach feel unwell but these don’t and they are very affordable as well.