£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Cherryfudge

Lovely to hear from you again and all the very best in your new venture. x

Sea_Shell

Glad to have you back.

I too wish you well in your new venture. It's a very brave move, and I hope your investment in yourself pays off. Earning more money for less hours is the holy grail of (self)employment.

Like you say, it's your life and up to you and your family how you choose to live it...even if it is very different to the accepted "norm" around these parts!! - Just remember....step away from the Washing-Up bowls!

Are your home extension plans still full steam ahead too? Is the car still holding it together?

I would just add....don't take your eye off the £s too much, as like our little friends, calories...if you don't get the "in/out" balanced, then one day you go.....OMG how did THAT happen!!! :eek: Another Mince Pie anyone????;)

:beer:

Humdinger1

TOPM

You wonderful woman! The thing is, while the straitjacket approach works for many, there isn't a moral obligation to run your life that way and no other. I have sometimes wondered if - in the entirely laudable attempt to give people a path away from enforced consumption (because for many, that is the only obvious way of validating themselves and their lives) that an alternative tyranny is in danger of being imposed - better financially for sure, but at risk of being as dogmatic and critical as full-fat consumerism. I - and many of your adoring public - think you've made the right decision. A decision which cuts out emotion and undermines your core values isn't sustainable in the medium to long term. Some people may come on here and disagree with your assessment - but they are not in charge of you, or your life - you are. You're allowed to think and behave differently. Unless you're posting from north Korea, of course.

I too have made the decisions and followed the path that you are on TOPM. Partly by good luck (and good timing) and partly by allowing myself thinking time, rather than filling every minute with activities that might generate a few pence rather than giving myself some strategic time to develop my business, I've got to a point I never thought I'd reach at the end of last month - debts paid, inc tax, and VAT paid ahead of the deadline. You too can and will do this - it's obvious that you're now on the right path, and you have all the expertise and mindset necessary to make a resounding success of it. As another self-employed person, I totally agree with the working on/off button as otherwise you're never recharging.

A LBM can mean the relentless paying down of debt, as we know, It can also mean thinking about what you consider to be a good use of money, and not accumulating debt for reasons that don't support what you want to do with your life. You've dragged your spending decisions from unconscious to conscious - that is a huge journey; bigger possibly than going from one externally mandated regime to another without interrogating what you're moving to.

Please keep posting as the internet has not been the same without you - we've never met but you are a key member of my tribe! Love and congratulations to you and the rest of the TOPM family on this new chapter. 2019 will be the best year yet.

Humdinger xx

Luno

TOPM, I honestly agree with you here. Whilst not being critical of anyone as it’s all a personal choice I struggle with the constant pressure to conform to feeding my family of 4 for an arbitrary target that basically consists of eating food which ethically and nutritionally makes me feel bad. There are no easy choices so this means I have to work more - which also wouldn be for everyone. I hope this “new” mindset makes you feel happier.

Treadingonplaymobil

Thank you all so much for your posts! I'm so pleased I wasn't chased out with burning pitchforks for my less-than-standard approach.

My new business is going to be about selling some physical products, but mostly about selling my own writing (pdf downloads and ebooks). I've given myself an initial investment of a few thousand pounds, which will largely go on branding and a bit of software and some training. All things I know will move my business forward and that will vastly accelerate the process of earning serious income from it. I'm really enjoying throwing myself into it.

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm trying to conquer that work/life balance thing. I have decided to work only one weekend a month, but to fully commit to working during school hours, as if I were out of the house (removing myself from the house if necessary in order to do so). I'm really interested to see how that shapes up, as I've always always 'made the most' of being at home to do laundry, cleaning, making dinner etc, and it's meant so many six hour days being reduced to one or two hour ones. The goal is that working fewer weekends will mean time to keep on top of the things I have been doing during the week.

The extension is theoretically all steaming ahead, although we're still waiting for a structural engineer's report - once that's in place we should be all guns blazing to get started in April as the builder has agreed, but I won't feel fully confident about that until we have the engineer's report and met with the builder again - it all still feels quite tenuous! Once we have written confirmation of start dates etc I'll feel able to start thinking about it more seriously, but at the moment it's firmly at the back of my mind while I focus on work.

The other thing we have done in order to ensure we really enjoy the year ahead is to book a proper holiday for the summer - going abroad (had to address my environmental guilt over flying! Need to research whether carbon offsetting is a worthwhile enterprise, but either way, we haven't flown as a family for seven years, so I figure we're not doing too badly, and it's short haul). One of my goals is for my business to start funding more fun for us as a family, so in future years I fully expect to be able to holiday easily as well.

Right, off to make some mince pies to use up the last of the homemade mincemeat - SO many Christmas leftovers round here!

Humdinger1

TOPM, is there a way to subscribe to your blog without breaching MSEs rules?

enthusiasticsaver

Good luck with your new writing venture and hope it works in giving you additional income. Each person has to choose their own individual journey to getting to grips with their finances so your choice how you do it. No chasing off with pitchforks from me.

Hope all goes ok with the extension and I can kind of understand why you are going with a holiday abroad this year even though I guess it will put an additional financial strain on you. Hopefully your business will do so well though that rising income will sort that out. I agree that maybe looking on your working week as being only for work and not housework will keep you more disciplined and maybe cause you less stress. I wish you all the best.

Cherryfudge

Sea_Shell wrote: »

Another Mince Pie anyone????;)

:beer:

I read that just as I bit into... aother mince pie. :rotfl:

Guilt trip :rotfl:

Treadingonplaymobil

Humdinger1 wrote: »

TOPM, is there a way to subscribe to your blog without breaching MSEs rules?

I think perhaps as things shape up with it over the next couple of months I'll be happy to share the details with those MSEers who are interested and whose names I recognise (ie they've posted once or twice on my thread, so I can be as confident as I can be that they won't be trolls who want to come and haunt my other online space) - I won't be sharing a link on my main diary.

earthgirl

Good luck with your new direction! I would also be really interested in your journey. We didn't do things conventially either. I am also interested in giving my kids a good childhood full of joyful memories so I am saving and spending much more than normal.

We have our own business and OH an I both find calendar blocking effective. We block time off for different home and work activities. Set timers and stop when the timer goes off. Easier said then done sometimes!

Best Wishes for 2019.