£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Treadingonplaymobil

Oh I would be so on board with getting a dishwasher, but (a) we have absolutely no space for one and (b) imagine if we got one which didn't fit into the new kitchen when we had the extension done?! That would be so awful, to have to buy another one. So we have to limp on with the dishwashing situation for another 18 months or so.

I love the idea of a family white board/command centre type thing (the joys of Pinterest browsing) but the reality is that it would be another thing for me to manage - DH would stop seeing it after the first week and I would need to inform him what was one it, which I think would drive me fractionally more demented than I already am :rotfl: . I'm wondering, though, if I could work it into our weekly family meetings somehow though. Maybe an A3 sheet of paper which we list the week's chores/baking etc on, and assign responsibility for it during family meeting, so it's more collaborative. It would definitely make me feel a lot less solely responsible, and there would be a visual tracker of things being crossed off if they didn't get done, so some responsibility there. And we can start to involve the DCs in more chores too then as it becomes appropriate. Ooh, my little cogs are turning...

Goingroundincircles

DH would stop seeing it after the first week and I would need to inform him what was one it, which I think would drive me fractionally more demented than I already am

THIS! I'm sure my husband has some sort hearing/memory/eyesight issue that blacks out all money/house related issues. We're also in a bit of a chore related stalemate at the moment. Good luck and if you find something that works for you let me know!

FiscalPickle

I pinned a good idea from Pinterest, you could paint a section of kitchen wall with magnetic chalk paint and write your 'to do' jobs in different coloured chalks, which should capture the DCs interest. You could also stick notes from school and other bits of paper that need to be visible with colourful magnets

Treadingonplaymobil

Ooooh, DH has just taken the children away until Sunday night. SO MUCH FREE TIME. I am resisting the urge to make the world's longest to do list. Have clients tomorrow and loads of work to do, but it will still be much more peaceful than my average weekend. DH used to do this a lot and it's been a long time since he has, had forgotten how much extra time it gives me - not needing to stop for family meals, interruptions, questions, injuries, arguments etc.

But first I'm going to play a bit of music and chill out for half an hour.

apple_muncher

Enjoy being a grown up, all alone in the house, child-free. And dh -free too!

arsenalbarnie

Lucky you having OH take the kids away. He sounds like a gem to me. We are all different, you say yourself you have a tendency to control freakery. Is he more laid back and let you get on with all the organising and worrying? Maybe it's his personality. My OH would happily sit and watch telly all day unless I gave him jobs to do. He is the worlds biggest procrastinator but has taken it upon himself to be chief clearer upper in the kitchen. This is a great help when cooking from scratch and making the mess I do. He is the official king of the dishwasher here! He also does not do as much as I would but I just finish off when it gets to me. I have learnt to let go a bit. Is there any way you could look for one secondhand or on free cycle and figure out a way of fitting it in somewhere.

It sounds as if you do need to let something go. How often do you do things together as a family, or just as a couple? Sorry not being judgemental here. I know it's hard when they are young and money is tight. Family live away etc. Things don't have to cost money tho, a walk for an hour if someone is there to babysit. My friends and me had a babysitting club on our estate, taking it in turns, as they all had family who lived away.How does he feel about it too. I have noticed now mine are all grown up how much I enjoy OH's company again. Believe me we have had our moments and I could have walked out some days. He used to say the only time he got me to himself was when I was in labour (I have 5), and we would have a day at the hospital! I never realised he used to miss our time alone, I was so busy just getting on with every day chores, job and children.

Sorry I know I am rambling on (Friday night wine :beer:) but you look round one day and the kids are grown up and you think where did all that go. You are left with each other, children move out and have their own lives. It goes by in a flash.
.

Treadingonplaymobil

Week 58: Day 6

DH and I get literally no time together - it's rare really that we so much as sit down for a grown up meal at the table or a cup of tea in the evening once the children are in bed. Because his evening chores take such a chunk of time, and I am so often working or cleaning up in other rooms and then falling into bed in the evening, there never seems to be an opportune moment. No babysitters on hand for going out - I wouldn't ask local friends unless it was for something 'special' (they all have parents on hand for their childcare so no reciprocal arrangement needed). Our nearest family is two hours away, and come down to help out with out-of-school-hours childcare so I can work during the week every few weeks, so asking for more so that DH and I can go out after working is unthinkable. There is also literally nowhere to put a dishwasher even if we could lay hands on a cheap one - we would have to rip out a cupboard, and all the cupboards are used. Tiny kitchen!

As a family we do some stuff together, but not a lot. Very much DH having the DC on the weekend so I can work, on the whole. Much more time together in the summer though, when my work tends to slow down, and I try to work fewer hours anyway.

I'm not unhappy with a lot of the aspects of the life we've chosen (if the money stress was taken away, I'd be thrilled with it ), but the things that were advantages when the children were little, relative to friends with traditional jobs, don't hold so true now, and I need to figure out a shift to our working/lifestyle rhythm that works for the way our life is now.

I do need to hang onto the fact that I am (probably!) coming to the end of the hardest work bit of my year. I have paid profit of just over £2,000 into our joint account since January, and held onto another £1,500 profit in my business account for various things. With the hours I work over the year (more just now, much less at other times, like summer hols) that equates to a salary of £17,000 for working 18 hours a week, which isn't a bad rate. I certainly couldn't earn that working elsewhere with the flexibility to slow down my work during holiday times and be around for every school pick up etc. What I do need to do is make sure that when it does slow down, that I take the extra time for my family, not commit myself to loads of other things, or visiting people on the weekend or whatever.

Anyway, lots to do today to make the most of the time while DH is away with the DC, need to get on. My list is long, but focusing on the priorities first.

The debt repayment front is all very dull at the moment - things are ticking along but because of the spending on birthdays there's no exciting overpayments or anything. Only minimum payments plus an extra £22 made so far this month. Very dull, but plodding along. The car service next week probably means that pot will be short to I imagine April won't be much different, but as long as I can continue to keep the savings pots more or less intact so that I know my budget is genuinely balancing, I'm content with that for now - it's a big step forward from last year when I wasn't managing the savings pots, so wasn't actually balancing things. I'm glad I made good headway on my £5k repayment target in Jan/Feb, as I imagine it won't get any easier to overpay from here on in, and it's going to be the odd £20 or £50, rather than hundreds every month.

Three things to do today
1. Prep house for client this morning.
2. Get the unpackaged bits of food from town that I couldn't get in Aldi, plus foil-only wrapped eggs for easter.
3. Clear emails, which will involve confirming some contract work for next month which I need to sort childcare for.

Debt repayment:
- £22.77/31 March rounding down pot.
- £1,608.78/£5,000 2018 debt repayment goal.

Suffolk_lass

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

A bit late to this but wanted to mention stuffing - I save all my bread ends in the freezer and then use them to make a mushroom stuffing (sometimes with chestnuts if I can get them cheap enough).

Really nice with a roast dinner and even nicer the next day with left over roast potatoes when they become the main part of the meal. Very filling.

And a really good supper option if you add a bit of pork sausage meat and onion so all the gooey bits mix together.

My Mum's bread pudding recipe is cheap and yummy but not top of the healthy living pile.

Bread Pudding

• Half-three-quarters of a loaf, broken up and soaked in water until it is soft and soaked (no more than ten minutes) - then squeeze out the water (this is when you realise you left it too long as it will break up)
• 150g sugar
• 300g mixed fruit (I wash then soak in black tea, but Mum never did)
• teaspoon mixed spice
• Teaspoon grated nutmeg
• pinch salt
• 1-2 eggs (1 makes it wetter) - I use 1 large or 2 medium
• 200g margarine (stork block)

Melt the fat in a roasting pan, mix all the rest together and then add in the melted fat, stir and return to the pan. Squidge it out and cook it long and slow 2 hours at 140 fan

Honeysucklelou2

TOPM - we use an A4 notepad that is set out with each day of the week. I think it was £2 in a stationery shop. The children and I try to chat every Sunday and talk through the coming week so that everyone knows what's happening.

If your husband is working in a stressful or demanding job, then coming home and doing 2 hours of chores, there's much to be thankful for. Are the children able to do some chores to help you as well?

enthusiasticsaver

Re getting some time for you and OH, does your youngest do nursery at all? My DD is on maternity leave from her part time job as she expecting her second DD in early May and next week her and her husband have planned some meals out lunchtime while their DD1 is at nursery. He has taken a few days annual leave to use it up before his holiday year end.

It does sound like your DH does do quite a lot considering he helps out in evening and weekends. Sounds like neither of you gets downtime.