I don't think it gets much worse than this. Feel totally beaten

Upsidedown_Bear

worriedDan wrote: »

I have had a positive week after my initial post but for some reason tonight I feel absolutely awful about everything. Just awful.

I am sitting here thinking what the hell have we done to end up in such a huge, huge amount of debt. 55k....

I know that we can clear the debt and that it is actually relatively manageable, but I just feel like such a terrible failure. Despite being more open with my wife, I still feel as though I shoulder the burden of this, even though she is supportive.

I have been reading other posts today and there are lots of people who owe 15k, 20k, 30k...... but 55K!!.... I feel like our debt is in a totally different league to the vast majority of people.

Hoping a decent nights sleep will sort out this mood

Hello :wave:

Do have a read of this if you haven't already seen it. It's one of the most thanked posts on the Debt Free board
and with good reason :T
11 years a slave

Drawingaline

I have been paying off debt after a LBM in October. Been positive as much as possible since then, but this last week I have had a bit of a blip too. Deep breaths.

enthusiasticsaver

worriedDan wrote: »

I have had a positive week after my initial post but for some reason tonight I feel absolutely awful about everything. Just awful.

I am sitting here thinking what the hell have we done to end up in such a huge, huge amount of debt. 55k....

I know that we can clear the debt and that it is actually relatively manageable, but I just feel like such a terrible failure. Despite being more open with my wife, I still feel as though I shoulder the burden of this, even though she is supportive.

I have been reading other posts today and there are lots of people who owe 15k, 20k, 30k...... but 55K!!.... I feel like our debt is in a totally different league to the vast majority of people.

Hoping a decent nights sleep will sort out this mood

You have a higher than average monthly income so it is not surprising you have got to a higher level of debt before realising you need to do something about it. I am not belittling it - £55k is a lot of unsecured debt but on your income at this level it is doable within 3-4 years. Believe me though if you had carried on spending without check as you have been you would very soon have been up to £100k which would be even tougher to get to grips with. No sense in looking back now, only forward. Learn the lesson, deal with your mistakes and move on.

Merlinetta

You are so not in a different league you know, watch this...

You owe 55K you take home 53.6K a year (debt 102.6% of income)

I owed 18K I take home 12.6K a year. (debt 142.8% of income)

Which number looks worse now Argh! I've compared above using my numbers in case they help you feel better about yours, but really don't compare, no need to, we all fight this battle with the debts, and you have lots of helpful people here if you need so you're not alone. Don't beat yourself up about the past, it's done, gone, and now is a new chapter.

I do hope you feel better after a good sleep. Not every day will feel like today.

bugslet

Upsidedown_Bear wrote: »

Hello :wave:

Do have a read of this if you haven't already seen it. It's one of the most thanked posts on the Debt Free board
and with good reason :T
11 years a slave

Crikey, not seen that before, it just about brought tears to my eyes.

Dan, deep breaths, you have taken some really good steps in a single week. At the start of any journey or task, it seems unsurmountable, but take those first steps, get rid of your first card and take pleasure in closing it and then on to the next one.

If you haven't yet told Lady Dan the exact figure, maybe a written overview for her, you could say you are managing the details, but thought she might like a bit more info.

Best of luck and yes, you can do this and one day you'll be back here telling everyone how you cracked the debt and giving others in debt a bit of hope.

ReadingTim

You tend to spend (or overspend) more as you earn more, so it's not surprising the amount is as high as it is. However, as a percentage of salary/income, it's not massively out of kilter with others, so all perfectly repayable.

Finally, you've both been overspending/living an unaffordable lifestyle. Yes, one person might be the instigator, but the other went along with it, and it takes 2 to tango. So, you could say half of it it your OH's - it's not like you've blown it all on a secret drug or gambling addiction yourself, so don't have it all weigh on your shoulders. This is why your OH needs to know the exact amount - a problem shared is a problem halved and all that....

worriedDan

Hi, I know it's repayable, I was just stressing last night.

I have shown my wife our budget, she knows that we are paying £1500 per month and that we are on a 3 year journey. I've offered to write all of the debts down for her- she declined. I have told her how much it worries me and that I want it sorted. I really can't cope with anymore conversations just yet. I would like to give the new budget 6 months and then revisit the figures with her.

I'm not hiding statements or post and my wife has access to all bills etc. I don't know why I find the total figure so hard to say but surely I have done and said enough, for now at least.

worriedDan

So, here is the plan for the next 3 months. I say 3 months as we are only planning to save the £375 for 3 months in order to build up a £1000 emergency fund. Having looked at this, it is clear that we can live fairly well and still pay off this debt asap. I listed the individual debts earlier in the thread . The values remain unchanged, however I have managed to move some to 0% this week. Our total interest is £150. I would rather it be zero but I guess that this is not too bad for £55k of debt

I actually think that we should be paying more like £2000 off the debts and these figures suggest that this is doable as there is almost £500 spare.

Is the £350 for entertainment much too high? I figured that having enough money for some 'fun stuff' will keep us on track.

We will be also be using the £375 to pay off debts as soon as we have £1000 saved, meaning that our debt payment could potentially be £2375!!! I expect that we will need to tweak things as we move forward over the next few months, however this is decent starting point.


Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 3378
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1010
Benefits................................ 82.8
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 4470.8

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 489
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 103
Electricity............................. 40
Gas..................................... 80
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 35
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 60
TV Licence.............................. 14
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 10
Internet Services....................... 10
Groceries etc. ......................... 250
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 160
Road tax................................ 2.62
Car Insurance........................... 60
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 100
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 12
Contents insurance...................... 11
Life assurance ......................... 40
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 350
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 375
Total monthly expenses.................. 2351.62


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 155000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 8000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 163000


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 75000....(489)......1.25
Total secured & HP debts...... 75000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
ALL debts......................55300.....1500......0
tax debt.......................3000......122.......0
Total unsecured debts..........58300.....1622......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 4,470.8
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,351.62
Available for debt repayments........... 2,119.18
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,622
Amount left after debt repayments....... 497.18

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 163,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -75,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -58,300
Net Assets.............................. 29,700

enthusiasticsaver

The budget certainly looks more than doable. It is a personal choice as to how much spare you leave in the budget and if it was all on 0% then I would say there is no rush but obviously the 0% deals all finish at certain times so make sure you make a note of when the deadlines are for all the debt. If £150 a month is interest then approx £16-£20k will be paid off if you start with £1622 and then up it to almost £2000 when the emergency fund reaches £1k. Having that £500 spare also means potentially more could be paid off but if you are resigned to a 3-4 year journey then this gives you a lot of leeway. Just make sure you don't stay out of your pension for too long.

allthe7s

What will you use the entertainment money for? It does seem very high but you still have spare cash left over each month so yu can obviously afford it ��