Parking Dispute

Aylesbury_Duck

New_Guy_2016 wrote: »

Yes you did post earlier and I read that and did not reply back disagreeing so not sure why you are posting it again.

Er, because despite me posting it, you subsequently asked me: "What way would you suggest then...?" That led me to assume you had missed my earlier reply. Never mind.

New_Guy_2016 wrote: »

Again it is not pride or some sort of moral crusade as you say. It is simple right and wrong which a 10 year should know so for grown adults to act like this and have no regard for others is not right. I have not worked myself into a stew and as am calm about the situation as I was when I posted originally.

Fair enough, but that's not the impression you've created in this thread, not to me anyway. The first two sentences above are contradictory for a start.

Only you can decide how far you want to take this. All I have pointed out in that in this and many similar situations where neighbours rub up against each other, pride and a sense of right and wrong often lead to a much bigger problem than the original cause of annoyance. It sounds as if you are technically in the right. What price you're prepared to pay to prove and implement that is up to you. I favour a diplomatic approach because I don't want to live in a neighbourhood where there is resentment and possible difficulty where I may need cooperation in future. If you can push this to what you consider to be a victory without any longer-term consequences, go for it.

New_Guy_2016

AdrianC wrote: »

Nope.

I apologise for trying to stop you making a fool of yourself... Fill your boots.

Oh you really are wound up by my comments I can see as you try to be sarcastic now. Thanks for all your help on my post but think we both know you are wasting your time and makes me laugh why you keep commenting when it is only to try and make a fool of me for some reason. But I suppose a Keyboard Warrior has nothing else to do than try and show people up online :T

Aylesbury_Duck

New_Guy_2016 wrote: »

Oh you really are wound up by my comments I can see as you try to be sarcastic now. Thanks for all your help on my post but think we both know you are wasting your time and makes me laugh why you keep commenting when it is only to try and make a fool of me for some reason. But I suppose a Keyboard Warrior has nothing else to do than try and show people up online :T

I can see why you might choose not to go down the diplomatic route. Not really in your nature by the looks of it.

New_Guy_2016

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

Er, because despite me posting it, you subsequently asked me: "What way would you suggest then...?" That led me to assume you had missed my earlier reply. Never mind.


Fair enough, but that's not the impression you've created in this thread, not to me anyway. The first two sentences above are contradictory for a start.

Only you can decide how far you want to take this. All I have pointed out in that in this and many similar situations where neighbours rub up against each other, pride and a sense of right and wrong often lead to a much bigger problem than the original cause of annoyance. It sounds as if you are technically in the right. What price you're prepared to pay to prove and implement that is up to you. I favour a diplomatic approach because I don't want to live in a neighbourhood where there is resentment and possible difficulty where I may need cooperation in future. If you can push this to what you consider to be a victory without any longer-term consequences, go for it.

Agree with what you are saying and depending on what I do, other neighbours do and the neighbours using the visitors do will determine the outcome. My sole purpose of the post was to see if I had missed anything and people have pointed out things I did not know. But in the end if I do some then like everything i do in life I have to weigh up the consequences and in this instance there are other innocent neighbours involved so I will not be doing anything with them agreeing to it as that would make me the same as the inconsiderate neighbour who has decide to do something without considering the other neighbours.

New_Guy_2016

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

I can see why you might choose not to go down the diplomatic route. Not really in your nature by the looks of it.

So much easier to jump on the bandwagon and follow others rather than have courage to stand out on your own

Aylesbury_Duck

New_Guy_2016 wrote: »

So much easier to jump on the bandwagon and follow others rather than have courage to stand out on your own

I had sympathy with your situation when you first posted, but a quick glance through the thread shows you becoming increasingly adversarial as people offered viewpoints that differ from your own. If a host of posters agreeing with you and telling you what you want to hear is what you're after, then my suggested approach is clearly not for you, so I've nothing more to add.

New_Guy_2016

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

I had sympathy with your situation when you first posted, but a quick glance through the thread shows you becoming increasingly adversarial as people offered viewpoints that differ from your own. If a host of posters agreeing with you and telling you what you want to hear is what you're after, then my suggested approach is clearly not for you, so I've nothing more to add.

You have not glanced long enough then. For every constructive comment I have took it on board and replied to their questions. Show me a comment where someone has offered simple advice (not had a go or presumed I am a certain type of person) and I have replied in a way I have not taken the comment as I do not agree with it.

Where as yes you have offered good advice in parts which I have taken on board but also made claims which have no fact and then stoop so low to try and gang up with another member to have a go. It is people like yourself and the other chap that ruin forums and just come on to force their opinion and if you somehow slightly disagree or have a different view, you resort to insults

New_Guy_2016

Thank You to everyone who gave constructive comments and advice and it has given me a few options going forward which I will discuss with the other neighbours and take it from there and hopefully the situation gets sorted without having to involve an endless dispute

Mercdriver

The trouble is that you have painted yourself into a corner by acting unilaterally in speaking to the person you deem to be offending. If the 'offender' goes off on one, what do you think the other neighbours will do? Will they back you up?

Your best approach would have been to gauge what everyone else was feeling before approaching the neighbour and have a unified approach and organise a residents meeting including the 'offender' to work out a way forward.

I used to be a local councillor and parking was always an emotive subject. People get territorial on it even if it's nothing to do with them personally and that's unhelpful.

In the end people will follow the path of least resistance, and that could leave you exposed on your own. In matters that are party to several people you should always try and solve it as a party, not as an individual trying to get the party to do what you want as you can easily come across as an aggressor or a trouble maker and then you have no room for negotiation.

Handled badly, this could end up meaning you have no backers among your neighbours and their visitors end up parking in your spots and everything gets adversarial and tit for tat. I think you jumped the gun in confronting him. Even if done politely, it was still a confrontation and doing that without knowing whether the other residents would back you was risky and you could come off it as being the only one that cares.

If everyone was to back you up, you will be stronger, but it would have been stronger still had you been more strategic about this before confronting him.

If the parking area is owned by a freeholder, and the approach was that everyone agrees except for one person, they could very easily go with the majority view even if the individual is morally correct.

New_Guy_2016

Mercdriver wrote: »

The trouble is that you have painted yourself into a corner by acting unilaterally in speaking to the person you deem to be offending. If the 'offender' goes off on one, what do you think the other neighbours will do? Will they back you up?

Your best approach would have been to gauge what everyone else was feeling before approaching the neighbour and have a unified approach and organise a residents meeting including the 'offender' to work out a way forward.

I used to be a local councillor and parking was always an emotive subject. People get territorial on it even if it's nothing to do with them personally and that's unhelpful.

In the end people will follow the path of least resistance, and that could leave you exposed on your own. In matters that are party to several people you should always try and solve it as a party, not as an individual trying to get the party to do what you want as you can easily come across as an aggressor or a trouble maker and then you have no room for negotiation.

Handled badly, this could end up meaning you have no backers among your neighbours and their visitors end up parking in your spots and everything gets adversarial and tit for tat. I think you jumped the gun in confronting him. Even if done politely, it was still a confrontation and doing that without knowing whether the other residents would back you was risky and you could come off it as being the only one that cares.

If everyone was to back you up, you will be stronger, but it would have been stronger still had you been more strategic about this before confronting him.

If the parking area is owned by a freeholder, and the approach was that everyone agrees except for one person, they could very easily go with the majority view even if the individual is morally correct.

Sorry I should have mentioned that I had already agreed with the neighbours that a polite word would be the best 1st step and see from there but I do agree with what you are saying which is why I am making sure anything I do has the neighbours agreement as it can affect them depending on what steps are taken.

If this issue just affected me then would have been different and I have no problem going out on my own if it only affects me when something does not go to plan but in this case there are others involved