moving house on my own

[Deleted User]

I never thought I would even consider leaving my lovely house, in a quiet village but I was skimming through rightmove yesterday and have seen a lovely place that would suit me down to the ground. Walking distance to a beautiful small market town. I never thought I could give up my allotment and find enough space for all my hobbies and I never thought I could prise myself away.

This house on rightmove, which I am not going to see as it is too soon, made me realise that I could find somewhere. It would be more expensive so I would have to draw on savings but is do-able but I am scared re the actual physical process of moving all my things

The 40 big beautiful stone plant containers, containing trees and large shrubs, the contents of my out building and garage, all good things and in good condition including my wood carving bench and saws. I would move those contents but what would I do with all my large pots? and my lovely danish furniture which has been fitted in but which needs to be dismantled to move. Will a removals company dismantle and then set them up again?

My stomach is churning but why has this been so set into my mind and it stayed there overnight? Is this my house now, telling me that I can let go?

Help with the practicalities please? I won`t be downsizing as such but would be making life a bit easier and future proofing

spirit

Hello Kittie,


Yes a removals firm could do this for you (on request). Make sure it's a reputable firm with insurance.


I'm in the process of moving and had a firm round recently to quote. They will pack my beds and put them up the other end, special bags for my TV's, sofa etc.


I've got quite a few garden pots, which he said is no problem. So you should find you are ok.

lessonlearned

Hi Kittie

Yes a good removal company will help you move all your treasured pots, trees and hobby equipment. You don't even have to take down pictures and mirrors although I don't think they will rehang them for you. They will wrap and pack and they will dismantle and reassemble furniture.

I can well understand your reticence. It's a bit daunting when you are on your own and no longer a strapping wench in your twenties. Not that I was particularly strapping lol but I was quite a bit stronger then.

Just throwing this into the ring.

Would it be worth you hiring an assistant of some sort. I did this once.

I found a lovely young woman or rather she found me. She helped me out for about 15 hours a week for about four weeks. She did everything from decorating, (emulsioning), packing and unpacking, cleaning, hanging pictures and curtains.

It was not long after my husband's death when my fibromyalgia was at its worst and I was desperate to try and get straight for Christmas.

She was lovely, worth her weight in gold.

Alternatively a big strapping odd job man for a few days either side of the move to help with the heavy stuff.

I'm off to see a bungalow tomorrow so I might be joining you this year in a house move. :rotfl:

I think you are wise to think about your future needs, i.e. When that allotment is more than you can handle and when you no longer wish to drive.

moneyistooshorttomention

Well, as you know, I moved on my own pretty recently.

To somewhere where I knew absolutely no-one at that and in a different part of the country.

Do you know anyone already in this market town? Is it there specifically you've fixed on?

[Deleted User]

Thank you. I cannot tell you enough how re-assuring you have all been, now I know I can indeed do it. At the moment I have stopped looking at right move, the one I saw was just right, even having raised beds at the end of the garden but is in a string of properties on an A road. I did the pros and cons and one of the best things here is the community, small ie three of us and potentially five. I always have someone if I need help, they are my age and one has been widowed for a long time. We are all different people though and deliberately never get too close because we live so close to each other, we keep our privacy but are kind and friendly with each other

The thought came to me, maybe to just adapt as needed and the excess I would need to pay would get me endless taxis. What I will do is to keep watch, everywhere I drive. I feel so happy knowing that moving would be possible, like the chains have come off. In the meantime I continue with MK (marie kondo) and am hoping that more goes out of my home than comes in.What is also re-assuring me are my savings, I would need to take some out of my pension sipp too but could manage to get a new home, while being unsold, then, on selling, my savings could be quickly replaced. It would mean that I could get alterations and jobs done, while moving in stages. I have 36 months, during which I can claim back the second home tax

I am so glad you all answered my plea for help. Thank you

moneyistooshorttomention

This is the thing. It has always seemed to me that you are happy where you are and I was surprised to see you wondering about moving - as you seem so settled there.

Living where I do now - I see quite a few people move from remote countryside into towns as they get older.

Personally - I don't think one wants to assume that one will automatically get worse health on getting older. I always think it's very sad when people make that assumption. After all - the reverse of that is, for instance, people like that retired dentist that took up running in his 90s we've heard about recently (and I've got a copy of his book en route to me as we speak:)).

As you say - there are always taxis. Certainly - they are well on my radar (as a non car-owner and now living somewhere with poor public transport). As things ease financially for me over time = I'm certainly going to be prepared to pay out for them if need be (ie if there is somewhere further away I intend to get to).

Being happy with your house and neighbours is something not to give up lightly imo. I know just how much trouble an awkward neighbour can be - so, if you're happy on that point, that's a good reason towards staying where you are and "adapting in place" if need be.

It takes time to "settle" in a new place too. As one makes new friends - some of whom work out and others don't (or one learns to restrict range of topics discussed - because of very different values - which "restricts" things).

There are virtues in a bigger place - even just the move from a little hamlet to a market town would make it easier imo to find a reasonable number of like-minded people.

Moving elsewhere is something that needs thinking about long and hard imo - errrrm....yep...that would mean "longer and harder" than I did personally then I guess:rotfl:. Sometimes it can feel almost like one has swopped into leading someone else's life instead of your own - as it's so different sometimes. I know I feel personally that it's almost like having two lives in one lifetime. My own life and then swopping to a different life. Certainly a learning experience...

lessonlearned

I had a car crash last year, wrote off my car. So for an experiment I tried going car free for a while, it was fine.

I did replace it eventually because it was at a time when dad was ill and I was pretty busy with him, running him about etc and he lived a fair distance away.

Now that dad has died I can truthfully say that I think I could get by without the car. I honestly don't really need one where I currently live.

I think whether or not I keep it in the long term will hinge on where I eventually buy a house. If I stay in the city then I will get rid, if I move out into the country a bit then obviously I might need one.

I saw a bungalow yesterday. It was a fixer upper with huge potential in a fabulous location but I decided the north facing garden was a bit too small and it was a good 1 hrs drive from my boys. I'll keep looking.

Re city - v - country. As always I'm really am in two minds about this.

I think I have lived in most combinations, hamlets, villages, market towns and cities, both coastal and inland. They all have their pros and cons. For me I think the ideal would be either a very quiet area of the city where I wasn't bombarded with traffic noise or a nice market town, big enough to have the usual day to day amenitities.

As you know I currently live with my son in the city, not the most fashionable of post codes, he bought where he could afford. I was dubious at first but I really like it here. It's definitely "up and coming" and prices are rising, so it's been a good investment for him.

No traffic noise, you can sit in the back garden and its so quiet you would think you are in the countryside. Everything on tap, buses, taxis, train station is a £5 taxi ride, air port 30 minutes but not under the flight path.

The one drawback here is the properties, Victorian terraces which are lovely but they have such steep staircases. Fine for now but there will come a time.........or flats which I don't want, principally because they rarely come with outdoor space.

I know, I know, I Am fussy.:rotfl:

It's hard though to find the right place because although I intend to remain fit and healthy for as long as possible one does have to be practical and plan ahead just in case reduced mobility becomes an issue.

Money.....I think you definitely have a good point about "lifestyles" though. A new and very different area does require a different mindset and you have to be flexible so you can adapt.

One thing I do know is that although I love the idea of living in splendid isolation in the middle of nowhere, it would only work if I could drive.

I watched a programme recently about living on Fair Isle. Fabulous, if my husband were still with me, but not now I'm single again.

Hey ho.....the search continues.

Februarycat

I would love to move house now I'm divorced and ds has moved out, I'm always looking on Rightmove, but like OP I don't know how I would cope with the packing and clearing out of loft, shed etc. I would like to move to a new area, have lived in this town all my life and fed up with it really. Would love to move to seaside place but doubt I could afford it. Will keep on dreaming, maybe one day

lessonlearned

Well if you live in Lincolnshire you aren't too far from the coast and there are some lovely spots along that east coast.

Re the sheds and loft.......why wait until you move. Start decluttering now, its such a positive uplifting thing too, it really does help because as you clear the clutter, your mind seems to clear too. Getting rid of excess stuff seems like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders.

Can you get into the loft or do you need help. Perhaps your son could lift a few boxes down each time he visits you.

Make it your 2017 project, you might even be able to sell some of it. I made £1100 one year just weeding out the stuff in my loft.

I still only reduced it by about 50 per cent......:rotfl: still got a way to go yet.

Decluttering a lifetimes possessions can be a bit daunting. Maybe join the Marie Kondo thread over on the old style board for support and encouragement.

[Deleted User]

More good points here, certainly set me thinking mtsm, I think what has been happening is a kind of freedom ie the golden threads of my husband doing all this work in this house for me, well they are finally releasing me to make my own decisions and that is a good thing. The final hurdle to me accepting that I need to take decisions alone

My village is tiny, we have a tiny church and a village hall with an active hall committee and we have small allotments available in a lovely place where skylarks fly. We have one bus that travels 5 miles to the west and 5 miles to the east, every two hours and these two places cannot occupy me for the two hours in between buses, so the car is essential

No situation is 100% ideal, I can cycle to bird watching hides and along a canal but I cannot cycle dangerous and hilly roads to any shop. What I have been given this week, are options. I think I would like to be able to walk to some shops but I can get home delivery. I have no traffic noise and no noisy neighbours and moving is always a gamble but now that these silken bonds have loosened, well it makes me feel better. I am likely to choose to stay here and now that will be fully my choice and not because my husband wanted this house so much and that feeling is so incredibly liberating

moneyistooshorttomention

Different mindset alright LL.

I'm used to quite a large fluid group of people of liberal modern (but not daft about it.....:cool:) with expectations of a lot of variety in our lives and of communal decisions being made communally.

Quite a large jump to not having that group around and feeling a bit like an "outsider" (in the same country!!!). To a communal expectation in many contexts that someone will be a "leader" and "in charge" of a group:eek:. From a nearby best friend that shares much of my outlook on life and many of the same viewpoints to one that seems to have a different viewpoint on absolutely everything I can think of to myself.

Latest "friendly" approach was someone else approaching me with a social invite - to which I duly agreed and we are chatting away as friends and I know she probably also has a different way of thinking to me in a lot of respects.

You take what friends you can find in a smaller area - and learn what topics of conversation to steer as clear of as possible and try and "keep your mouth shut" about personal opinions a lot more (unless you have to say something - because otherwise you will be deemed to have agreed with something you don't agree with iyswim). To me - that's one of the very noticeable differences to living in a city - where you just go out looking for groups of people like yourself and find them.