Housebound due to dog's separation/isolation anxiety

Person_one

gettingready wrote: »

Sheramber - I have been doing all this with Zara all her life and honestly it really does not work with her. And I live alone with Zara and the cats.
Borrowmydoggy - I have tried this before but with Zara I need a mon-fri regular sitter and this is not how that site operates. Very random requests from people who want to have a dog for odd days.

PersonOne - I have zero savings, I have been out of work for few months now and when I did work - my expenses (especially for Zara) were sky high.

Zara starts barking/howling about 10 minutes after I lealve. I tried locking her in one room and leaving her with the run of the flat - makes no difference. TV on, lights on.

If you can't afford help, and there's no way to avoid leaving her alone, then you need to go right back to basics and start again just like you would with a new puppy.

If you aren't going to be back to work for a few weeks at least then this is the perfect time. Order your food shopping online, tell your friends and family if they want to see you they'll have to visit for a while, and dedicate yourself to getting this sorted before you go back to work.

Forget today, for today just get your plan in place and have a rest! From tomorrow, puppy training starts! Arm yourself with kongs and tasty treats and lots of patience and persistence. Start with 30 seconds on the other side of a door and a piece of chicken for Zara, increase it by 30 seconds at a time if need be. Leave her a few times a day for very short periods, gradually building up but always with a treat, and always get back to her before the point she becomes distressed. Even if it takes you a week to be able to go 10 minutes, you need to sort this for her, you can't leave her in this level of distress for 9 hours a day 5 days a week.

gettingready

She has never been alone all day. I always had dog walkers or dog day care or boarding in place when I was working. I already do my food shopping online and I never meet people outside - honestly, this is what it is like for me. I literally went to Tesco to get potatoes yesterday.

When left alone she does not eat or drink at all.

I am sure I am missing something as I am stressed about the situation myself and can not see things clearly perhaps.

I can go out to the bins by myself. I have a bag of rubbish and tell her I will be back and she is ok for that 5 minutes.

In the old flat I could go downstairs to say hand the washing and be gone for 10 minutes and she was fine.

It seems like that the 10 minutes is her limit.

Also - she knows very well which clothes mean how long I will be gone.

But yesterday I went to Tesco with a bag of rubbish in my hand and the clothes I normally wear around the flat/dog walking jacket.

Foxtrotoscar is right - it is me causing her anxiety somehow.

When she was being boarded or in day care she did not bark when left alone (with other dogs). She does it with me only

bmthmark

Person_one wrote: »

If you can't afford help, and there's no way to avoid leaving her alone, then you need to go right back to basics and start again just like you would with a new puppy.

If you aren't going to be back to work for a few weeks at least then this is the perfect time. Order your food shopping online, tell your friends and family if they want to see you they'll have to visit for a while, and dedicate yourself to getting this sorted before you go back to work.

Forget today, for today just get your plan in place and have a rest! From tomorrow, puppy training starts! Arm yourself with kongs and tasty treats and lots of patience and persistence. Start with 30 seconds on the other side of a door and a piece of chicken for Zara, increase it by 30 seconds at a time if need be. Leave her a few times a day for very short periods, gradually building up but always with a treat, and always get back to her before the point she becomes distressed. Even if it takes you a week to be able to go 10 minutes, you need to sort this for her, you can't leave her in this level of distress for 9 hours a day 5 days a week.

I reckon the above post is spot on.
You have to convince her that you will always return, she probably worries that you may not come back. Hence the suggestion above of leaving her for short periods. I did this with my puppy, I left him alone for sometimes minutes at a time. I literally did my normal routine of leaving (e.g. coat etc) and then left and stood outside for a few minutes. I then came back in as normal, I did this over and over again. I eventually extended the time to an hour (obviously not standing at front door for that amount of time).
It seemed to work as he is quiet when I return. I think he knows he is in a safe place and I will always be back for him.
I know you say you have tried everything, but you may have to start again.
I'm sure you will be fine, it will just take a bit of time to sort out.

Person_one

How long have you got to work on this before you start work?

bmthmark

gettingready wrote: »

She has never been alone all day. I always had dog walkers or dog day care or boarding in place when I was working. I already do my food shopping online and I never meet people outside - honestly, this is what it is like for me. I literally went to Tesco to get potatoes yesterday.

When left alone she does not eat or drink at all.

I am sure I am missing something as I am stressed about the situation myself and can not see things clearly perhaps.

I can go out to the bins by myself. I have a bag of rubbish and tell her I will be back and she is ok for that 5 minutes.

In the old flat I could go downstairs to say hand the washing and be gone for 10 minutes and she was fine.

It seems like that the 10 minutes is her limit.

Also - she knows very well which clothes mean how long I will be gone.

But yesterday I went to Tesco with a bag of rubbish in my hand and the clothes I normally wear around the flat/dog walking jacket.

Foxtrotoscar is right - it is me causing her anxiety somehow.

When she was being boarded or in day care she did not bark when left alone (with other dogs). She does it with me only

She probably barks with only you as she sounds very clever and knows she will get some sort of attention.
She probably can sense you are stressed.

I know its no help at all but please remember you are trying your best and that at the end of the day she is safe and i'm sure when you do come back she is perfectly happy. Try and stay calm about it all and try some of the suggestions people have posted.

gettingready

No idea when will I go back to work to be honest as at the point of applying for ANY jobs out there. Including the DWP jobs that take ages to be processed/interviews set up.

I have Zara for over 10 years so she knows very well that I will return.

Right now I am in the living room and she is out in the garden. She does not see me. She is fine.

When we moved in here, I managed to go out a few times and she was not barking. The hallway is L shaped, she was in the back room (I locked her there with her food dish) and left quietly - she did not know I was gone.

Last Friday when I went out she somehow figured how to open the door and coming back I could hear her from the end of the road barking and howling then coming in met a neighbour from upstairs who confirmed she was like that for 4 hours.

gettingready

Another thing - when I was leaving the flat and daughter was still in then leaving an hour or two after me, Zara was not barking.

Go figure

bmthmark

gettingready wrote: »

Another thing - when I was leaving the flat and daughter was still in then leaving an hour or two after me, Zara was not barking.

Go figure

That's really strange. When I left my dog he seemed to kick off more when I left him. In the end my wife is the last one he see's. He seems to accept this better than me leaving him. I never figured out why.
It sounds like a similar issue.
Perhaps test this by getting your daughter to be the last one to leave. For example you leave the house then 5 minutes later your daughter should leave. She what she does.

gettingready

I live by myself now so not on option I am afraid.

Also had Zara on a half day care too - a girl would pick her up before I went for work and drop her off anytime in the afternoon before I got back. Again, Zara was fine and did not bark at all being in empty flat till I got back home from work.

Clearly the problem is ME

gettingready

Exercise 1 - at 15:20 walked her to the back room. told her to go to bed, gave her a small treat and walked out shutting the door after me. Then opened/shut the front door. Tiptoed to the living room. Waiting now. Quiet so far. No barking and she is not trying to open the door (still no idea how she managed to open before as door opens inwards)Will give it till 15:30 and go get her. But if she starts barking before - not idea what to do.