Working away from home

System

sheramber wrote: »

Weekend spent catching up on jobs around the house.

Or not because after a hard week at work and a long drive home, your too knackered to do anything in the house.

From experience children resent you coming home at weekends and 'bossing' them around or upsetting the routine they have with mum during the week.

Or in my experience the wife resents you coming home at weekends and bossing her around and upsetting the routine she had in the house and with the kids.

I should imagine it wouldnt be hard to become a stranger in your own house.

FBaby

Difficult situation. How many children in the household and how old are they? The point about the child having access to their father so that they can continue to have regular input in their lives is an important one.

At the same time, it sounds like your issue is not just so much about the household income but your frustrations in your current position. I think it is important to be clear which one is more important to you because if what is causing you most to want to change is your dissatisfaction with your job/career, saying that you need to move as a family for money might end up causing confusion and frustration.

Is it a case of balancing your happiness vs the happiness of your family?

Fireflyaway

If working away for a bit gives you the skills and experience to then come home and command a better salary, it could be worth the sacrifice. Don't forget living costs though. My husband worked away during the week for 2 years and during that time we struggled financially as we had a mortgage on the family home and his rent on a room. However when he left that job he got a new one that paid £13k more as a result of his new experience and qualifications.
If you do it only to return to the same issue don't bother. Can you cut your expenses any? Could you retrain in something else?
To sum up, its worth it if you have an end goal and a time limit and you and your partner agree on the arrangement and trust each other.

Spendless

Runningfast wrote: »

That does go through my mind about how it will impact the relationship, though me being away would benefit us financially. Currently my salary is maxed at £23.5k (all in) I was made redundant a few years ago and just took any job in my sector as I had bills to pay . I have also suffered a pay cut in my current role hence why I am now capped at 23.5K salary. I currently work a position way below my experience and qualification level. I think my partners job (nurse) is more transferrable than mine.

One of the possibilities i have at the moment is working abroad but think that might be pushing it with my partner.

Re this. Does she currently work shifts and you look after child whilst she works?

If so, this may need taking into account as childcare for shift workers can be difficult to find.

System

The woman makes a lot of sense.

[Deleted User]

Runningfast wrote: »

Just looking to hear what solutions other people have come up with.

Look for logic little things and hold out. As I really don't think the job market is that great right now.

I was horrified when in my new yet recent surrendered job of 14.5k going from bad to worse I realised I was only 24 minutes on good day to M25 (which went some way in making me see sense) 4 years ago I travelled further then this for much more money so don't know how I was so stupid - guess you can very easily lose sight in desperation so don't let it be you, cherish the life you have now.

Dird

Everyone is talking about working away but OP never said that? I took "I have come to the realisation that I need to move" as meaning the family move. It'd make no sense at all to pay 2 lots of rent/mortgage.

All you can do is hope a better paying job appears within a 40 mile radius of your house. Is your partner working? If not that can be an easy way to boost income & make use of that family network she doesn't want to leave

PeacefulWaters

Moving for £200pcm v cost of moving and peeing the wife off? That's a no from me.

Moving further afield for significantly more will usually bring significantly higher housing costs and will also pee the wife off.

Good luck.

Spendless

Dird wrote: »

Everyone is talking about working away but OP never said that? I took "I have come to the realisation that I need to move" as meaning the family move. It'd make no sense at all to pay 2 lots of rent/mortgage.

All you can do is hope a better paying job appears within a 40 mile radius of your house. Is your partner working? If not that can be an easy way to boost income & make use of that family network she doesn't want to leave

What the OP has said is

Runningfast wrote: »

I have come to the realisation that I need to move from my current area but my partner wants us to remain in this area (friends and family etc)

How did people find a compromise?

All I know is I can't continue where I am and in the financial position I am in.

Just looking to hear what solutions other people have come up with.

Runningfast wrote: »

My partner has a child from a previous relationship. She is reluctant to pull the child away from his family and friend network.

Partner doesn't want to move as she doesn't want to move child away . Partner works as a Nurse.

martinthebandit

Logically if you cannot increase your income then the only other option is to decrease your outgoings.