How to remove a lodger/ex partner.

beckysbobbles1

Hi,


I am on the verge of splitting up with my partner and am wondering what steps I will need to take to ask him to leave my house?


We have been rocky for months and when I've previously mentioned splitting up and him moving out, his response is "I'm going nowhere!".


He is an emotionally abusive man and has made several threats prior to this. I have made one police report but I stupidly decided not to proceed.


He has said he has rights as a lodger however I don't believe this to be fully true. We used to have a lodgers agreement in place however I previously revoked this (when we were splitting up before).


He does pay me a set amount of money each month which he refers to as rent but this is more to help with the bills etc.


As soon as I say I want to split up (and actually follow through) I know he will make my life hell. He is the type of person to purposely make noise whilst I'm trying to sleep, make a mess around the house to bother me and possibly bring people to my home that I'm not comfortable with.


In the original agreement I did state no guests to come to the house. I did also state that I need to give one months notice so if I am going to try and enforce certain rules then I assume I must also give him one months notice?


I just wondered what legal action I might need to take to ensure he moves out? I know I can change the locks but I know if I do that, he will break my door down.


I also wondered if there's any letter or something I could draft to state that during the one month notice period, if he does anything to make me feel threated or disruptive could I end the notice period earlier?


I know it's a messy one so thank you in advance for your advice.

Bob_Bank_Spanker_2

Do you own the house? If he has paid money he may want some of the equity.


https://www.theguardian.com/money/2010/jun/20/mortgage-warning-unmarried-couples

Alderbank

Hi Becky, I'm sorry to read about your situation. What you describe is domestic abuse, pure and simple.

I don't think that sending your lodger a letter, however carefully worded, will result in him leaving your home and walking away. What you must do is contact a domestic abuse charity such as Refuge http://www.refuge.org.uk/what-we-do/ or Women's Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/. Sadly, they have seen this situation many times and they will advise you on the safest and most effective strategy for you to take. They will also give you practical and emotional support which could include temporary shelter at a refuge unknown to your abuser

beckysbobbles1

Bob_Bank_Spanker wrote: »

Do you own the house? If he has paid money he may want some of the equity.


https://www.theguardian.com/money/2010/jun/20/mortgage-warning-unmarried-couples

Yes I own the house. We've not even been together one year so he will have no rights over my property at all!


He has paid towards things like the council tax, water, gas and electric - that's it. And we even had a lodgers agreement in place to start with so there's no way he has any rights.

Pixie5740

What a bizarre set up. You let your partner move in but draw up a lodger agreement telling him he couldn't have friends visit his home. You can't unilaterally decide to break a contract so if there was some kind of agreement in place you can't just decide on your own to withdraw it.

However, since you seem to fear for your wellbeing I wouldn't bother trying to live with him for a month. Tell him the relationship is over and the he needs to go. Then change the locks. Have a trusted friend or relative with you just in case he kicks off. I think it's possible to ask the police to be in attendence if you suspect things might turn nasty. An organisation such as Women's Aid should be able to advise you.

The main goal is to get the abusive partner out of your home. If he wants to sue for beneficial interest or entry back into the home cross that bridge if and when you come to it.

beckysbobbles1

Alderbank wrote: »

Hi Becky, I'm sorry to read about your situation. What you describe is domestic abuse, pure and simple.

I don't think that sending your lodger a letter, however carefully worded, will result in him leaving your home and walking away. What you must do is contact a domestic abuse charity such as Refuge http://www.refuge.org.uk/what-we-do/ or Women's Aid https://www.womensaid.org.uk/. Sadly, they have seen this situation many times and they will advise you on the safest and most effective strategy for you to take. They will also give you practical and emotional support which could include temporary shelter at a refuge unknown to your abuser

Thank you so much! I know I will need professional help when it comes to the crunch.


I guess I am trying to plan things as much as possible as I know it'll be very difficult.


I have read that if I give him reasonable notice then I can change the locks if he hasn't left after that time. Either way I know it's going to be an awful time and I'm scared for my safety.

beckysbobbles1

Pixie5740 wrote: »

What a bizarre set up. You let your partner move in but draw up a lodger agreement telling him he couldn't have friends visit his home. You can't unilaterally decide to break a contract so if there was some kind of agreement in place you can't just decide on your own to withdraw it.

However, since you seem to fear for your wellbeing I wouldn't bother trying to live with him for a month. Tell him the relationship is over and the he needs to go. Then change the locks. Have a trusted friend or relative with you just in case he kicks off. I think it's possible to ask the police to be in attendence if you suspect things might turn nasty. An organisation such as Women's Aid should be able to advise you.

The main goal is to get the abusive partner out of your home. If he wants to sue for beneficial interest or entry back into the home cross that bridge if and when you come to it.

I know it seems like a strange set up but he moved in after only dating for 5 weeks. It was a big rush (on his part!) so I decided to use the lodgers agreement as some form of protection for me.


Thanks for the rest of the information. When I've spoken to the police before, they've been so helpful.

Fuzion

When you say you know he will break the door down etc, it's a huge red flag. Do speak to DV professionals *before* making your next move, they will be able to offer sensible advice, knowing the kind of ways these situations can sometimes play out. And listen to them; your safety is paramount.

Mojisola

Fuzion wrote: »

When you say you know he will break the door down etc, it's a huge red flag. Do speak to DV professionals *before* making your next move, they probably aren't going to make you go down any route you're uncomfortable with at this stage, but they will be able to offer sensible advice, knowing the kind of ways these situations can sometimes play out. But listen to them. Your safety is paramount.

And go back to the police and tell them what he has said and that you are frightened of the way he will react when you tell him to leave.

beckysbobbles1

I will be sensible about it. I may even ask my dad to be there when we talk.

davomcdave

Get lots of support OP and lots of witnesses, preferably witnesses that can offer a little muscle if needs be.

I really hope this works out for you, it must be a horrible position to find yourself in.