Should my OH's sisters be bridesmaids?

lulu_92

I'm figuring out my bridesmaids and so far I have 4 and two flower girls, but I'm worried that my MIL to be will have something to say over me not asking her two daughters (I've not asked anybody yet).

I'm not particularly close to one of them and she lives really far away so getting her to come up for fittings and general involvement will be difficult and, while I'm closer (but not massively) to the sister up here, I don't really want to ask one if I'm not asking the other. I also like the number I already have in my mind (sister, stepsister, and two of my closest friends, then my daughters for flower girls).

Is this bad? Should I be asking them? OH isn't bothered if they're asked or not as I already put the dilemma to him. I just don't want to have to have two more bridesmaids because of someone else, but I still don't feel comfortable with the "my wedding my rules" saying yet!

fairy_lights

If you're not particularly close to them then I doubt they would even expect to be asked. I'd stick with what you want - your sisters and best friends - and if MIL does get iffy about it you can just say you didn't think to would be fair to ask them because the distance would make it difficult to plan.
Besides, they're your OH's family so he could always make them ushers or 'best-people' if there's pressure to give them a role.

kathrynha

The bridesmaids are the brides people at the wedding. You wouldn't expect the groom to pick your brother to be best man.

Torry_Quine

You already have a large group so it seems strange to add more people that you don't particularly want

lulu_92

Thanks, I just didn't know if it was one of those things you had to do at weddings. My step brother isn't a groomsman so I can't see an issue.

DomRavioli

If the MIL gets haughty, just get your husband to be to remind her that it is your wedding, not hers.

Lavendyr

What they all said. My husband didn't have his brother as best man, they're not particularly close. Why should you have the sisters in law if you're not close? It's your choice!

Trina90

It's funny how different people perceive the roles. To me, Bridesmaids and Ushers are the choice of both bride and groom these days. We are having my brother as an Usher, and my OH's sister as a Bridesmaid, as we both wanted our siblings in the wedding party. I think it is up to both of you what you want to do! As your OH isn't bothered, don't feel the need to have them.

I completely appreciate your worries though - I am also having to deal with MIL/in-law wedding stress as we speak.

elsien

Neither of my sisters in law ever considered me as a bridesmaid - not even on their radar. Not that I wanted to be, anyway, the frilly frock look was never my thing. I think I got lumbered with usher instead.

happyandcontented

I think it depends on how old they are. In our family we have representatives from both sides, so I have been a Bridesmaid for my SIL and my brother was an usher at our wedding. If the sisters are older and married it may be different, but it could be an expectation that your MIL/SIL's have. What does your OH think?

lulu_92

happyandcontented wrote: »

I think it depends on how old they are. In our family we have representatives from both sides, so I have been a Bridesmaid for my SIL and my brother was an usher at our wedding. If the sisters are older and married it may be different, but it could be an expectation that your MIL/SIL's have. What does your OH think?

OH really isn't bothered and is a big fan of the "it's our wedding at the end of the day"

SILs are late 20s. I'm not sure what the expectations of his side are to be honest, I just didn't know if I was breaking some massive rule by not asking them.

I'm not picking any of the groomsmen, although I think OH knows who my preference for his best man would be, but it's his choice overall (and he'll probably pick that one anyway)