Recuperating

Spendless

Less than a week before Christmas my Dad went into hospital following chest pains. He was kept in and diagnosed with unstable angina and a blocked artery. He had a stent fitted and was discharged on Christmas Eve.

Less than 3 weeks later my Mum fell and broke her hip. The following day she was given a hip replacement and told she had Osteoporosis. She came out of hospital less than a week ago.

My Dad who is recovering from his own op, is now caring for my Mum.

There's me and I work full-time. I'm struggling to know how to help them both. I've taken a few days off work this week to try and help out.

Person_one

To be honest, assuming they are both retired and not regularly doing anything strenuous or walking long distances, its probably better for them to carry on as normal as much as possible. Long periods of inactivity after these kinds of operations can actually do more harm than good. What was recommended by their surgical teams?

Obviously, they shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting or roof repairs or anything like that, but pottering about the house, doing the cooking and the lighter cleaning tasks together etc. should be fine. If you want to help, organising a weekly supermarket delivery of healthy food to save them struggling with heavy bags or paying for a cleaner to come and do a deep clean regularly to save them the more physically arduous tasks would possibly be helpful?

Have you asked them what sort of help they need? Is your mum getting visits from community physios?

gettingtheresometime

I agree with Person_one but would add that it might be worth timing the home delivery with the cleaner's visit so that they can help with the delivery ....I had one thisweekend and they would only bring the delivery as far as the front door whereas before they would bring it into the kitchen for me. (Not had one in for a long time though)

Does your mum need any personal care? I'm just wondering if she would find it more preferable if a home care person helped her rather than her hubby.

Might also be worth checking if they're entitled to an increase in benefits which could help pay for this.

Primrose

Maybe a short term cleaner.?
Can you help by ordering their grocery shopping for them online until they are recovered, or do some batch cooking doe them at your home and drop it off?

Spendless

They aren't both retired. They are past retirement age but are (were) still working, right up to the day they went into hospital. Dad is a school bus driver for a special needs school and went into hospital the first day of the Christmas holidays. Mum is a mobile hairdresser and fell outside a client's house and was taken to hospital by ambulance from there.

Obviously neither is currently working.

Mum isn't having any visits from a physio. Her dressing hasn't been looked at for over a week.

Person_one

Spendless wrote: »

They aren't both retired. They are past retirement age but are (were) still working, right up to the day they went into hospital. Dad is a school bus driver for a special needs school and went into hospital the first day of the Christmas holidays. Mum is a mobile hairdresser and fell outside a client's house and was taken to hospital by ambulance from there.

Obviously neither is currently working.

Mum isn't having any visits from a physio. Her dressing hasn't been looked at for over a week.

Ok, so they were both active and fairly well before their recent problems. That's great, that stands them in good stead for their recovery.

Does your mum have an appointment or a district nurse referral to have stitches removed? A closed surgical incision doesn't really need a great deal of wound care to be honest, as long as the dressing is dry and not falling off I wouldn't worry about that.

Spendless

Person_one wrote: »

Does your mum have an appointment or a district nurse referral to have stitches removed? A closed surgical incision doesn't really need a great deal of wound care to be honest, as long as the dressing is dry and not falling off I wouldn't worry about that.

She has been asked to ring her surgery tomorrow I think or Wednesday, though she didn't seem clear about why.

sillyvixen

Spendless wrote: »

She has been asked to ring her surgery tomorrow I think or Wednesday, though she didn't seem clear about why.

Ring the surgery tommorow from your parents house (because they may need consent from your mum) and find out why she needs to ring and what is going on.

Even if they are having shopping delivered, before you visit ring and find if there is anything they need you to pick up on the way (bread, milk etc).

If they are struggling with laundry, it may be more time effective to take it back to yours and do it overnight - rather than spend hours waiting for their washer to finish.

How are there relationships with neighbours, when you go back to work, is there a nieghbour that can/will knock on the door daily that you can give your work/mobile number and also you can leave near your parents phone so if they need help the situation can be dealt with or assesed and you can be contacted if needed.

All the best in your situation, sounds like you have a busy few weeks on your hands.

Savvy_Sue

If they'll accept outside help, you can ask Social Services to assess their needs. They may have to pay for any help, so on that basis it may be preferable to talk to them about what they're finding difficult, and how they could get help.

cbrown372

Look into claiming Attendance Allowance which will give them money to pay for extra help?

Mrs_Imp

On a different note, get your parents to record their recovery. Major surgery can take a while to recover from and it can seem like there's no progress. My friend had a double heart bypass and wrote down every day what he could do. On the days when he felt he wasn't getting anywhere he read back through and could see that he was actually improving.