Can I buy my mums house

jack_tyler

thank you everyone again, for your very helpful replies.

To adrianc:- I plan to keep the house as an investment for my son and I for the future.

To Mojisola and pollyannaL:- following a discussion today with a very good friend of mine who has gone through something very similar with her mum, she thinks that my best option would be to self fund the care, as you have both suggested. I just didn't know if the LA or Social Services have to be told this, but it looks like it doesn't, so this has helped me a great deal.
To taff:- that is exactly it, she doesn't (or rather won't) leave her home. Even though she doesn't recognise it as her home anymore, she refuses to live anywhere else, for the moment anyway.

So I think, what I will do is self fund my mum's care if and when the time comes. As my friend pointed out today, I am going to be using my own money anyway to buy the house, which in turn will be used to pay my mum's care, so why not just pay for her care to start with. By doing it this way, I will also avoid any solicitor's fees, land searches, etc that you have to do when buying a house.

AdrianC

jack_tyler wrote: »

To adrianc:- I plan to keep the house as an investment for my son and I for the future.

Empty?

Or will you rent it out?

jack_tyler

to adrianc:- not really sure yet, I was thinking of renting it out, but it would have to be modernised a lot first. Dont get me wrong its not a mess or anything, just needs bringing up to date......still got an original coal fire (not a log burner), if you need hot water (and unless you'd had the fire going) you have to put the immersion heater on, good old wood chip wallpaper on the walls, and no gas to the house. So depending on what my brother in law thinks (as he's a builder and he will be doing the work) will depend on whether I rent the house out or sell it. Hope this answer's your question

AdrianC

jack_tyler wrote: »

I was thinking of renting it out

I thought you might say that... Look, there's no beating about the bush here...

DO NOT DO THIS.

If you have the emotional involvement you appear to have with the property, then renting it is a recipe for a total and utter nightmare, for both your tenants and you. You will always think they're not respecting your mother's memory, they will always think you're intrusive.

Is it even a sensible investment to spend all that money on it then rent it out?

Seriously, you need to step back, turn the emotional involvement down a notch, and think dispassionately. It will not be your mother's home much longer. You will not be doing her any disservice by selling it once she no longer needs it.

So... ask yourself this: If you didn't already have the emotional link to this property, would you buy it to refurbish and rent? No?

Lioness_Twinkletoes

jack_tyler wrote: »

to adrianc:- not really sure yet, I was thinking of renting it out

So what experience do you have as landlord?

-taff

I'm also voting don't do it, re renting it out.
My father let my grandmothers house after she died, they had a tenant with three children, three cats. She stopped paying rent after 6 months, when they eventually scarpered after my father was in the process of trying to remove them he didn't find out for over a week, and when he did go in there, she'd left the cats locked in the house, there was !!!! everywhere, and every item of furniture left there by my parents for her was broken or stolen. She even stole the light bulbs.

AnotherJoe

jack_tyler wrote: »

to adrianc:- not really sure yet, I was thinking of renting it out, but it would have to be modernised a lot first. Dont get me wrong its not a mess or anything, just needs bringing up to date......still got an original coal fire (not a log burner), if you need hot water (and unless you'd had the fire going) you have to put the immersion heater on, good old wood chip wallpaper on the walls, and no gas to the house. So depending on what my brother in law thinks (as he's a builder and he will be doing the work) will depend on whether I rent the house out or sell it. Hope this answer's your question

Just to echo other posters, if you wanted to go into the landlord business, which is what you'd be doing, with all the considerable hassle that involves, would this house be the one you'd choose to buy if you were looking around? That would seem to be a remarkable coincidence if so !

I suggest it isn't, especially if you would need to spend a lot of money on it to bring it up to a suitable specification, how long would it take you to recoup the money spent on renovation and other costs of becoming a landlord ? Several years I'd venture a guess.

Indeed were it not for this situation, would you even contemplate becoming a landlord? Again, assuming not, starting now as your mother goes into care is just adding more worry onto your situation.

Sell it, with the only renovation worth doing being ones that will add to its sale value.

teddysmum

A big concern, beyond buying the property is the coal fire.


My father had dementia and like the OP's mum did not want to leave his bungalow, which had been my parents proud acquisition after renting, then buying, a terraced house for over 40 years.


It was my dad's gas cooker which meant that he was given no choice and the authorities forced him into care, for his own safety.


His visiting carers found his hob switched on with no light (This was a few years ago and the cooker not a 'modern' one with automatic flame sensor) and sometimes he would leave the hob lit with a flame, but this could easily have burned him if he didn't see or realise the danger of a flame . (It caught me once as I put a leather bag on the cooker, when depositing some shopping and the damage to the leather was horrific to imagine inflicted on real skin.)


One possibility, OP, is to buy the house and have the fire/gas sorted, then mum could stay longer in safety. You would not be compelled to charge her rent (as you won't depend on the income to finance the purchase); just let her pay her utility bills etc.


Renting is a big responsibility to take on, but perhaps you could finance the modernisation, then sell at a profit.


By the way (I'm a sentimental twit about letting go ) it is quite easy to become separated from a property once a new owner has changed things. When my parents moved to the bungalow, I used to drive past my childhood home, but it became just like any other when the new owners replaced the doors and windows which my dad had installed.

littlemissrach

Just to double check does your mum have capacity to make the decision to sell the house (whether that be to you or anyone else)?

If there is reasonable doubt around her capacity (due to the impairment caused by dementia) then the principles of the Mental Capacity Act would have to apply and process followed to assess capacity.

Usually with POA for you'd support in decision making through best interests if your mum lacked capacity.. but I'd be questioning around the conflict of interest as you are buying the house?

Are there any social workers involved at this stage that you could speak to? There are also Inpependent Mental Capacity Advocates who might be able to support where mum lacks the capacity but due to conflict of interest in you being decision maker for this specific decision, where there is no one else independent to support and represent your mum.

AnotherJoe

teddysmum wrote: »

One possibility, OP, is to buy the house and have the fire/gas sorted, then mum could stay longer in safety. You would not be compelled to charge her rent (as you won't depend on the income to finance the purchase); just let her pay her utility bills etc.

Seems unlikely. Once you change these devices, mother will most likely not be able to use it at all, as its different. Only needs one knob in a different place, one new switch, one extra thing to do or even one less thing to do, to totally discombobulate those with dementia, at a level of minute change that is incomprehensible to those who haven't experienced it in practice.