Raising Finance after a Mesher Order

Adam.M_2

Dear All,


Apologies but I don't know if this is the right place to make a post (having just joined the website), any help or advice you could provide to my query below would be greatly appreciated.


My ex-wife and I had our final Finance Hearing as part of our divorce last Friday (30th Dec) and the judge agreed a 50:50 split of our house. To me personally my share is worth approximately £120k. However, my wife was successful in gaining a mesher order meaning she can stay in the house for up to another 11 years up to the point our youngest son turns 18.


I am now left with a huge amount of money (to me anyway) tied up and cannot access it to put towards a new house. I have found a new house I wish to buy and can afford all of the repayments etc but cannot raise the £45k (10% deposit & stamp duty) or £67k (if including paying off all legal expenses etc) to start afresh.


I cannot be the only dad left in this position and was hoping some advice could be posted on how I can raise this sort of finance without putting a charge on the former matrimonial home as the courts would not allow it. I don't want to have to rent and waste money for another 11 years.


I am desperate to buy a new house as I want to be a very active Dad and be able to look after my 3 beautiful children when they stay with me. I don't want the uncertainty created of moving house frequently because of renting.


Thank you in advance.
Kind Regards,
A.

Guest101

Many people rent house for 11 years and more.


But basically you have no chance, sorry, it's harsh, but unless you have an extremely well paid job you are out of luck.

Cakeguts

So looking at this from the view of your children. What you would like is for your wife to sell their home and buy something else for them to live in because you want to start a new life in another house that you own? Your children wouldn't have any say in moving to another house would they? What you want is for your children to be forced to move house so that you can have your share of the money from the house that they live in now that you and your ex-wife bought as their home?

People do rent for 11 years or more. If you ask some of the landlords on this site you will find that there are tenants renting privately for that length of time it isn't unusual. Renting in your case isn't wasting money is it? I means that you children can still live in their home.

AdrianC

Adam.M wrote: »

My ex-wife and I had our final Finance Hearing as part of our divorce last Friday (30th Dec) and the judge agreed a 50:50 split of our house. To me personally my share is worth approximately £120k. However, my wife was successful in gaining a mesher order meaning she can stay in the house for up to another 11 years up to the point our youngest son turns 18.

So your ex cannot raise the money to buy your share out. Perhaps this is because she is putting her career in second place to raising your children?

Adam.M_2

Hi. I didn't realize that the post replies would be so negative when people don't know the full facts.


My children spend approximately 40% of their time with me and 60% with their mother. My eldest child wants to move in with me and I want to provide long term security for all of my children.


Furthermore, our children have all stated they don't mind moving and don't necessarily want to stay in the original house. They are more concerned with spending quality time with both parents. Sadly at this time my wife cannot buy me out hence the question. This is not about trying to do any ill towards her, this is about trying to ensure that myself and my beautiful children can all also move on with this particular strand of our lives.


I apologize again if people have misconstrued my initial note.


Kind Regards,
A.

AdrianC

Adam.M wrote: »

I didn't realize that the post replies would be so negative when people don't know the full facts.

We can only go by what you've decided are the things we need to know.

But the point still stands. The house that your children are spending most of their time in is the one you are trying to force a sale of. What will your ex do for accommodation? Your earning potential is clearly higher. You are still entitled to the value of your half of the property - but you just cannot access it until your children are all 18, or your ex is in a better financial position, whichever comes first.

Cakeguts

Adam.M wrote: »

Hi. I didn't realize that the post replies would be so negative when people don't know the full facts.


My children spend approximately 40% of their time with me and 60% with their mother. My eldest child wants to move in with me and I want to provide long term security for all of my children.


Furthermore, our children have all stated they don't mind moving and don't necessarily want to stay in the original house. They are more concerned with spending quality time with both parents. Sadly at this time my wife cannot buy me out hence the question. This is not about trying to do any ill towards her, this is about trying to ensure that myself and my beautiful children can all also move on with this particular strand of our lives.


I apologize again if people have misconstrued my initial note.


Kind Regards,
A.

You don't need to buy another house to achieve this result just rent something near to your old house.

Thrugelmir

Adam.M wrote: »

Hi. I didn't realize that the post replies would be so negative when people don't know the full facts.


My children spend approximately 40% of their time with me and 60% with their mother. My eldest child wants to move in with me and I want to provide long term security for all of my children.


Furthermore, our children have all stated they don't mind moving and don't necessarily want to stay in the original house. They are more concerned with spending quality time with both parents. Sadly at this time my wife cannot buy me out hence the question. This is not about trying to do any ill towards her, this is about trying to ensure that myself and my beautiful children can all also move on with this particular strand of our lives.


I apologize again if people have misconstrued my initial note.


Kind Regards,
A.

The Court acts in a capacity as the guardian for the children. Therefore protects their interests by providing them with a secure home. Anything beyond this is outside the remit of the court. Up to the parties concerned to make the best of what is normally not an easy situation. Because as you say. Your share of the equity is tied up.

bouicca21

Are you on sufficiently good terms that you can talk through the financial position together? A mesher order may seem good for her now but it just postpones the pain. Fast forward 11 years - how on earth will she be able to afford to buy you out or have enough to downsize?

Number75

The Mesher order gives your wife legal protection over her children's home, as you have agreed that she is their primary carer.
But it doesn't stop her from buying you out.
What have you discussed with her?
My friend had a Mesher order (frankly, she needed the protection because her ex wasn't a nice man) but she didn't want him still involved and 3 years later was in a position to buy him out.

Is your share a % of property value? If so, it's in her interests to buy you out sooner rather than later.

I suspect that you were not in much agreement with each other, if you ended up with the court making the decision?

When the dust settles, you may be able to negotiate with her to buy you out early. For this, you may accept a buy out of less than 50% - worth considering if it speeds things up a bit.

In the meantime, be careful before you feel bitter... if the court gave her the order, I suspect her earnings are not enough to take on a mortgage now. That was a family decision that you made - that as a couple you wouldn't maximise her earnings or keep the mortgage lower. Even though you're paying rent now, you are still benefiting from the potential (probable?) increase in property value in 11 years.

Worth talking to a broker about whether your share of FMH classes as a repayment vehicle for an interest only mortgage - that might make the mortgage payments more affordable for you.

TBagpuss

There isn't an easy answer.
You don't necessarily have to rent for 11 years. You may have to rent initially, and try to save up some capital for a deposit. Then talk to a mortgage advisor - the Mesher order means you will have a lump sum in the future, which gives you a potential repayment vehicle for your new mortgage.

You may also need to rethink your housing plans - could you buy a less expensive property in the first instance?