Disgusting - North London Funeral costs.

photoboy

WHAT AN EYE OPENER!
I am shocked and a little disgusted at exploitation one is subjected too to arrange a decent funeral. My mother asked me to help with the arrangements for my Dad, I find myself in the middle of a gang of professional "people" charging five times the sensible costs for things. Worse of all mum does not have a lot of money, is rightly proud and does not feel she can skimp on the funeral in front of all a family and friends. So it looks like we are trapped in a space between feelings, appearances and a pack of hyenas.
There must be some reasonable companies out there?
Simple oak (ish) Coffin £800
3 sprays of Flowers £600
I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions re florists etc

The thing that turned my stomach was the cost of a grave plot is almost £5000, and £8000 for the double one in edmonton cemetery that my mum says would at least give her the garrente of being with my father. :mad: I feel like going to the council and giving them a good lecture on decency and exploitation, but i guess their would be no one to listen.
In many other modern countries/cities these things are 5 times less.

mae

This is why I like the idea of a Direct Funeral/Cremation

Sorry for your loss

missbiggles1

Why not do as most people do these days and opt for cremation?

Keep_pedalling

The cost of burial plots if more to do with land costs than exploitation, if she wants her final resting place to be with your father then interring their ashes together would be a far cheaper option if that would be expectable to her.

As for the coffin costs, I'm afraid using oak is just a waist of good wood and no one is going to think badly of you mum if she used cheap coffin. I have now been to 2 funerals where cardboard coffins have been used, and no one considered it penny pinching especially in these days where people are conscious of the need for using sustainable products.

As for the flowers, provide your own.

Curlylady

This is shocking to hear! How sad the cost of a funeral obviously is dependant on location. We are in Suffolk and cremation was out of the question for mum, on her prefereance, I paid about £3700. Even my fathers repatriation was about the same 8 years ago. I am sorry for your loss & do hope you are able to find a compromise in cost.

[Deleted User]

Think that's bad? I was told last week that cost of a funeral plot in our local Jewish cemetery was £20,000. You don't pay for that if you are a member of the synagogue, but that still costs £1k a year.

SevenOfNine

My condolences Photoboy.

Unfortunately the local authority rather has you over a barrel as far as plots go & you're in an expensive area. I think you'll find you're paying for the burial rights to the grave (not purchasing the grave).

If it's the same as where I live that 'right' will be for 30 years, with the option of extending it as time passes on payment of yet more money, which you'll do to protect the rights of your mum to join your dad there - if you haven't already lost her within the 30 years.

Unless you've factored it in with the £5000, you'll find there will be actual burial costs as well, even more if you want the grave sides boarded, then you have to pay for the 'privilege' of erecting a headstone (plus the extortionate cost of the thing), additional costs if you want kerb edging round the grave and/or a granite slab covering it entirely (plus the cost of those things as well).

When mum 'goes' you must pay again to have your dad's headstone removed to add your mum to it (or the same additional cost if you wanted to purchase her own tablet/flat style stone & install it).

RELENTLESS!!!

Several of us have said it before, a funeral isn't a competition & there is no need to feel you must impress mourners. It is about LOVE. Would your dad really want your mum to bankrupt herself putting on a good 'show' - I think not.

£800 is too much for a coffin. What is the quote for the cheapest - ask & have that. Cheap does not translate into 'loved less'.

Yikes 3 sprays of flowers for £300, what the f.........
Make your own! Assorted bunches of Chrysanths (about the only flower that will last more than a day or two out in the cold weather), along with something else - how hard is it to stagger them downwards in size, elastic band & tie with a ribbon. If it looks homemade - good. Love not money.

Or buy a bouquet from the supermarket, take the crap plastic off, nice big ribbon bow to cover the elastic holding them in the bunch shape & you've got a nice display.

Everything you purchase ask yourself "what would dad want us to do". You're not trying to penny pinch or economise, anyway, your mourners shouldn't be there if they are nit-picking over how expensive something is/looks, so stop considering that & factoring it in to your choices.

I hate to say it but the coffin will be covered in the ground & the posh flowers won't last more than a week exposed to the cold.

greenbee

We've just been through this, and our undertaker charged £1800 for all their services which included their basic cremation coffin. We looked at seagrass/wicker coffins and they came in around the £500 mark.

Crem was approx £700

Not sure about church/vicar (haven't had the undertaker's bill yet). We didn't have to pay for an organist as a friend offered, and another friend dealt with recorded music.

Order of service via a local printer £150 for 200 copies.

Flowers we did ourselves (with help from friends) using some flowers from a local wholesale florist and ivy from the hedges in the village. We really enjoyed spending the afternoon before the service as a family doing the flowers - it helped us feel that we were doing something useful and making it all very personal. Some of the flowers came home and we had them in the house, some were dried, and most stayed in the church over christmas.

Wake - food/tea/coffee for £150 at the local pub £1k including corkage for wine we supplied ourselves (£100? most people were driving).

My dad left clear instructions not to waste money - he wanted the cheapest coffin, but a fabulous service, which with the help of friends and family he did.

Mojisola

photoboy wrote: »

My mother asked me to help with the arrangements for my Dad, I find myself in the middle of a gang of professional "people" charging five times the sensible costs for things.

Worse of all mum does not have a lot of money

Is she entitled to claim any help -
https://www.gov.uk/bereavement-payment/eligibility
https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/overview

Hermia

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

As for the coffin costs, I'm afraid using oak is just a waist of good wood and no one is going to think badly of you mum if she used cheap coffin. I have now been to 2 funerals where cardboard coffins have been used, and no one considered it penny pinching especially in these days where people are conscious of the need for using sustainable products.

I chose the cheapest coffins for both my parents and I don't think anyone even noticed. TBH I wouldn't have much time for someone who went to a funeral and was inspecting the coffin to see how expensive it is!

OP - you really need to shop around for the flowers. That is an astonishing cost! The huge flower spray I got for my mum's coffin cost £70 from a small London florist. I gave her an idea of my budget and the size/colours I wanted and she just used a few expensive flowers and then padded it out with cheaper ones. It looked amazing.

silvercar

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Think that's bad? I was told last week that cost of a funeral plot in our local Jewish cemetery was £20,000. You don't pay for that if you are a member of the synagogue, but that still costs £1k a year.

At least you will save on the flowers!

The former is only set at that level to encourage the latter. Not the right place for a lengthy discussion, but if you are considering joining up just for burial rights, you should message me first for the most :money: way of joining.