Disgusting - North London Funeral costs.

pimento

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

I have now been to 2 funerals where cardboard coffins have been used, and no one considered it penny pinching especially in these days where people are conscious of the need for using sustainable products.

When I cremated my husband in 2014, the cardboard coffin option was more expensive than the cheapest wooden one.

I had no flowers (apart from one large spray on the coffin) and asked for money to go to charity.

TBagpuss

I'm sorry for yout loss.

As others have said, there is not need to 'put on a show' , and no one worth knowing would think any less of you, your dad or your mum if you go for cheaper options.

Both of my grandparetns had the cheapest option for their coffins - in my grnadmother's case this mean t it was a cardboard cofin - I very much doubt that anyone noticed.

Cremation may be a cheaper option than burial, and you can arrnage for the ashes to mingled or interred together when your mum goes, if that is important to her.

Flowers: I think that funerals are like weddings - the cost goes up because it is a funeral, and if you arrange them via the funeral home you are probably paying a mark up for their commission. Buy your own. Even if you buy an arrangment rathe than loose flowers you'll find it is cheaper to do so direct hen via the funeral parlour.

getmore4less

Not all coffins are suitable for cremation as the emission/combustion properties are an issued for some crematoria.

photoboy

Thank you everyone, I had go at asking the council cemetery office if they could do anything about the £8760 cost for the "plot". They were absolutely hard-business heartedly against any idea of a reduction, quoting market forces, competitor pricing and land value... Basic politeness but basically; pay it or get cremated (not an option for old school mums like mine alas). Pity I don't know anyone on enfield council, its amazing what people can manage to get if you know WHO to ask ...

Keep_pedalling

photoboy wrote: »

Thank you everyone, I had go at asking the council cemetery office if they could do anything about the £8760 cost for the "plot". They were absolutely hard-business heartedly against any idea of a reduction, quoting market forces, competitor pricing and land value... Basic politeness but basically; pay it or get cremated (not an option for old school mums like mine alas). Pity I don't know anyone on enfield council, its amazing what people can manage to get if you know WHO to ask ...

Are there no alternative sites you could look at, especially as your mother is not an Enfield resident?

Malthusian

photoboy wrote: »

Thank you everyone, I had go at asking the council cemetery office if they could do anything about the £8760 cost for the "plot". They were absolutely hard-business heartedly against any idea of a reduction, quoting market forces, competitor pricing and land value...

Pretty much what I'd say if people asked me to sell my services or property to them for below their value (if they were polite about it), and probably what you'd say as well.

Basic politeness but basically; pay it or get cremated (not an option for old school mums like mine alas).

Yes it is.

Sorry to sound unsympathetic but sympathy doesn't transmit well over broadband.

Whatever your mother's beliefs religious or otherwise, there is no more compulsion for her to spend £8,760 on a particular burial plot than there is for her to spend £600 on flowers. If she's in charge of the arrangements then it's at her discretion, and anyone who thinks less of her for not spending extravagant amounts on having her husband's ex-body put in a hole intact isn't worth thinking of.

Keep_pedalling

A woodland burial would be far cheaper, but although plenty have sprung up in in last 10 years or so, you will have to find one well outside London if you want to avoid the large premium non residents have to pay in areas with high population densities.

rockey100

some people will do anything for "good" money, what a shame ...

cavyslave

I had exactly the same problem. My BIL had paid nearly £7.5k for a pre-paid funeral back in 2008 and when I went to sort out the funeral the company first tried to encourage me to have him cremated instead (and refund me the cost of the stone £3400) and then told me I had to pay another £800 to re-open the family grave even though he was actually going in the empty plot to the left of that grave, and then when I kicked up a fuss they agreed to honour the original amount paid, and yesterday I got a letter from them saying I had to pay another £132 for "minister's fees" even though he'd already paid £150 for that as detailed in his plan. Also he had paid nearly £200 for embalming which wasn't carried out as the directors advised us not to view the body due to its condition. I'm about to have a row with them about that one too - by my reckoning they owe his estate £228!

lessonlearned

Sorry for your loss.

My dad died on 30th December and I'm currently in the process of sorting out his funeral.

Sorry but your mum is being right royally ripped off.

If we are not careful ul then funerals will be go the same way as weddings with people feeling shamed Into spending more than they can afford.

There are ways to stop costs from escalating.

A simple but elegant pine coffin.....£300 to £350

Flowers......no way would I pay that. Make your own display. Go to the florists or a market or even a good supermarket and make up you own simple hand tied arrangements. £50 should be more than enough.

You don't need Order of service sheets, you can do these yourself.

There are lots of things you can do yourself. In fact I think it's nicer to do a "home grown funeral" .

But the biggest saving of all will be cremation. Your mum can then either keep dad's ashes so that they can be combined when she dies or she can disperse them separately.

Do you have a heritage wood near you. Your dad's ashes can be used to fertilise a newly planted tree. You get a name plaque for the tree, somewhere for the family to visit and lay flowers in years to come. Round here it costs about £80.