How do you manage your joint income?

abby1234519

My husband views his money as his own and is really protective over it, whereas I view the money as our money. Funnily enough I earn twice as much as him, and so contribute a larger share to the bills etc. In a sense, I take £100 out as personal money and the rest goes towards our joint bills, joint savings (although the savings are in my name, it's still for us all)

He pays me all of his wages except overtime which he gets to keep. So for example this month he got £980, he gave me the usual £880 and I then gave him £250 back. So really he's ended up with £350 personal money. The difference is, he has to cover his travel to uni, clothes, haircuts etc. Whereas I take all of that stuff out of the budget so really it probably evens out. I used to put my bonus into household money but I'm now going to start keeping it for myself

rubyjam

Any income we receive is 'ours' and is paid into a joint account. It doesn't matter who earns what - everything we earn is pooled together. All our Bills/DD's go out of that account.

We have a 2nd joint account were I transfer a set amount each month and that covers our spending by debit card ie food and petrol. We are in a DMP so there isn't anything left for spending on anything else.

Maiden_Mum

Scrimps wrote: »

I would be genuinely interested how you manage a budget?
We wanted to go to the cinema this afternoon but have realised neither of us have enough money left, without any restrictions we would have gone and then run out of money before the end of the month.
Some people seem to be naturally very good at just not running out of money, I dont know how they do it.

Umm I'm not sure tbh other than we are both fairly sensible with money & I guess there is enough left over after bills etc to not have to budget too hard. Saying that however I do all the food shopping & we seem to spend a fortune on this, way more than a lot of people on here & I would really like to cut back on this because I would like a holiday & also to be able to help pay for driving lessons for my DD plus, plus we desperately need a new kitchen.
I don't go out that often without OH & he goes out without me even less frequently so nights out tend to be with friends or as a family with my kids & Occasionally his (they are grown up & don't live with us.)

Spatton

OH and I married nearly 7 years but we have no joint accounts at all. All of my income covers the bills and household expenses, and all of his covers the 'nice/fun/non-essential' stuff. This works as mine is regular and his is highly variable but it evens out over time. We effectively 'give' each other money if needs be, but have similar values about what constitutes the difference between need and want and we know we can live (frugally) on one income. Other thing to throw in there is that not long after we first met for reasons beyond our control we had no income at all for a while, so both know (and still recall vividly) the terrible feeling of not knowing how you're going to pay for the basics. This stops both of us being daft with money and thinking we 'need' something which isn't really essential at all.

Spatton

Scrimps wrote: »

I would be genuinely interested how you manage a budget?
We wanted to go to the cinema this afternoon but have realised neither of us have enough money left, without any restrictions we would have gone and then run out of money before the end of the month.
Some people seem to be naturally very good at just not running out of money, I dont know how they do it.

Habit and practice I think. Like any other habit it depends whether you frame it as negative or positive. Your wording is negative, you wanted to go out but couldn't so you felt bad. A positive way to frame it is to look at the fact that you saved money by not going out and (presumably) did something free instead - which is good. Practicing looking for the positive slant (however small) might help? Think it's fair to say that a lot of MSE-ers celebrate the small wins of finding ways *not* to spend money which all add up, and that's how the saving starts.

comeandgo

Spatton wrote: »

OH and I married nearly 7 years but we have no joint accounts at all. All of my income covers the bills and household expenses, and all of his covers the 'nice/fun/non-essential' stuff. This works as mine is regular and his is highly variable but it evens out over time. We effectively 'give' each other money if needs be, but have similar values about what constitutes the difference between need and want and we know we can live (frugally) on one income. Other thing to throw in there is that not long after we first met for reasons beyond our control we had no income at all for a while, so both know (and still recall vividly) the terrible feeling of not knowing how you're going to pay for the basics. This stops both of us being daft with money and thinking we 'need' something which isn't really essential at all.

That's how my husband and I use our money. I pay all living expenses, no mortgage as house paid, and husband pays holidays and fun weekends. We never budget as know have enough to cover our outgoings and plenty savings to fall back on. Long may this continue,

Scrimps

Spatton wrote: »

Habit and practice I think. Like any other habit it depends whether you frame it as negative or positive. Your wording is negative, you wanted to go out but couldn't so you felt bad. A positive way to frame it is to look at the fact that you saved money by not going out and (presumably) did something free instead - which is good. Practicing looking for the positive slant (however small) might help? Think it's fair to say that a lot of MSE-ers celebrate the small wins of finding ways *not* to spend money which all add up, and that's how the saving starts.

I think you have misread the post, I didnt say anything about feeling bad about it.

Without YNAB very quickly showing our funds have mostly already been allocated for spending, we would have probably gone out and then wouldnt have enough left come the end of the month. I am very happy the finances are well under control. My query was how people do it without restricting spending /full budget control.

From Maiden Mums response, it comes very naturally in her household :beer:. Ive met a few people like Maiden Mum, it continues to baffle me how people do it.

Im an eagle eye on the pennies person or it just gets frittered away, that lesson was learnt the hard way.;)

Nevermind309

Mojisola wrote: »

Well, I'm nearly twice your age and I think having the husband take care of all the financial stuff is a very old-fashioned way of running things.

We've always had a joint account for all our joint spending.

That's your way of doing it and fair play, if it works...it works! It was my wifes choice to not get her mind muddled with finances so I took it on, it works for us.

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Genuine question - if you drop down dead tomorrow, can she pay the bills until such time as the bank release the contents of your account to her?

I am sure she would work it out...

enthusiasticsaver

Nevermind309 wrote: »

Me and my wife have separate accounts and always have done, she puts 50% of all the mortgage/bills amount in my account when she gets paid and all of the dd's mortgage etc comes out of my account.

My old dear is always going on at me asking why our money is seperate but i think that is a very old school way of looking at it, we are 35, our £xxx.oop per month to have a nice house and all the bills is split 50/50 and remaining money in our accounts is ours to do with whatever we wish, my wife works out of work on a night sometimes as well and that is her money as well, imagine that conversation when she gets in with £80 in her pocket and me having to tell her to ''put that into our account'' ....er, no thanks. she has earned it, it is hers, just like my yearly bonus, i work my socks off to meet the numbers and i get a bonus, it is mine, i treat my wife out of it every time and she knows it comes out of this and has no problem, i have worked for it so it is my money, i might spend it or save it that is up to me, just like her hair styling money on a night is hers, i've certainly not cut anyones hair to deserve half....

So what would happen in the following scenarios?

You have children and your wife either gives up work to look after them, puts them into childcare or goes part time? If her income drops over maternity leave or after baby arrives does she have to ask you for money?

Something happened to you and she can't access your account to sort out all the DDs.

If you are a partnership then surely it is all joint money. No way would I be happy with that arrangement. It sounds very old fashioned.

Nevermind309

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

So what would happen in the following scenarios?

You have children and your wife either gives up work to look after them, puts them into childcare or goes part time? If her income drops over maternity leave or after baby arrives does she have to ask you for money?

Something happened to you and she can't access your account to sort out all the DDs.

If you are a partnership then surely it is all joint money. No way would I be happy with that arrangement. It sounds very old fashioned.

funnily enough she is actually 3 months pregnant, we are saving a years worth of mortgage payments by her due date so we don't have to worry about the mortgage, she will be receiving approx £580 per month after the first 4 weeks - I am paying all other costs which would normally be split down the middle and any money she makes doing hair at home/outcall is hers as it always has been, so in answer to your question, no she will not have to ask me for money as me taking over the utilities/council tax etc will see her with about £200 on top of her statutory maternity pay plus hairdressing money she makes, see....it can work both ways!. Horses for courses and all that..