How do you manage your joint income?

Mojisola

Nick_C wrote: »

I pay all the major expenses from my account, my partner gives me an agreed payment each month.

Have you got a plan for your OH to take over if you were suddenly incapacitated?

It's all very well one person managing the household's bills but can be a big problem if that person is unable to do so.

abby1234519

With regards to the last two posts. I've made this EXACT point to my OH who responded - well I guess I should learn how to manage our finances.

Once we're out of a DMP I'm going to hand it all to him and give him a test run for a month. I'm not going to tell him what to do (unless he asks) but am going to make sure he knows all the online logins. Sounds harsh but I learned by doing and I'm happy for him to ask me questions.

zippygeorgeandben

Really interesting post by the OP and a variety of responses. Me and my partner have been together since 1999. It's always been separate pots. I'm quite protective of my money and have created budget plans for friends/family as they know I'm likely to give sound advice. Several actually give me their online account details so I can see and they can let me know what they spent money on and why.
I've always had an interesting relationship with money. From having a zero rating with my bank and store cards coming out of my ears, I'm now debt free of store cards. I do have a few other debts though. In my life when I've gone out with friends/family who earn considerably more than me, I wouldn't dream of letting them pay for me. I've always split things 50/50. I even get annoyed when people 'round up' when transferring to me. My partner has more debt than me and not as much income. He isn't ambitious career wise whereas I am. He also readily admits that he blows money on holidays just because he can. One of my worries is is that he has had plenty of money from his Dad over the past ten years, definitely in the 20k bracket but nothing to show for it. I do have a couple of loans in my name which I gave to him. Holidays are split, monthly shops are split. Perhaps I should explore the avenue of paying more money proportionally as I earn more. However, that still means that I won't have much income for myself as I pay over £650 paying off my credit card/loans.
I realise I'm in the minority with this viewpoint. I do love him lots and lots though so don't be questioning our longevity (18 years so far!)

Nick_C

Mojisola wrote: »

Have you got a plan for your OH to take over if you were suddenly incapacitated?

It's all very well one person managing the household's bills but can be a big problem if that person is unable to do so.

I have but its not up to date. I need to do something about that!

Sarahcuzz

We have our own accounts into which our salaries go, but also a joint account and then a number of other accounts to make the most of interest rates with certain amounts in each account. The household direct debits are set to from the joint account and our own things from our own accounts eg my contact lenses. But in reality it's one pot of money. I use YNAB and manage all out spending through that so where the money is really doesn't matter. My husband usually writes down once a week what has 'moved' in his accounts and their balances so I can work sure YNAB is accurate. We then sit down at the end of each month when we both get paid to look at how we want to divy the money up on YNAB.

enthusiasticsaver

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Happens the other way round just as often. Something for all those on here saying how their other half has "no interest" in the finances to think about - you're doing them no favours in the long run. Insist that they take an interest, and gain a working knowledge of what goes where, when, and for what.

A point a lot of people have missed - just because you have sole accounts for personal spending doesn't mean that you can't see the household finances as "joint" money. It's perfectly possible to have both - just requires a certain degree of trust. If that trust isn't present, then perhaps there are bigger questions to be asked.

I totally agree. My OH paid no attention to personal finances for many years in spite of me sticking spreadsheets under his nose regularly. He freely acknowledges he is happy to leave money organising to me which is fine now we have plenty of available money but was a right pain years ago when money was tight and he would spend regardless of balance in account.

Now he is retired we talk a lot about money and I have told him I want him to play a more active part in it as he has more time. I also pointed out we never know if anything will happen to either of us now we are getting older and he is slowly getting more on board. He has just mastered opening up his own stocks and shares isa, something I never thought he would do.

nicp60

Great thread!
I think it's a really personal decision. I have done both - previously my husband and I had completely separate accounts and I hated it. I ended up paying all the bills and his (very sporadic) income never saw the light of day!

For the last 5 years we've had one joint account. Everything goes in and comes out of that account. It sounds messy, but like a previous poster we use YNAB to track spending and goals. We each have our own 'pot', and that varies each month. We're also very flexible with it all, so if one of us overspends it's not a big deal, we move it from another part of the budget. But it does make us accountable and mindful of what we spend and why.
YNAB updated recently, and I'm finding it much more user friendly. OH is even on board now, which is much easier!

Scrimps

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

1 joint account. Husbands salary and mine paid into this account. All bills come out. What's left is ours.

I can't understand the logic behind having 1 joint account for bills then 2 separate accounts for whatever's left. What happens if you go out for dinner? Who pays? Him or her? Does the other then have to transfer 50% of the meal back to the partner who paid? Seems really odd in a marriage

Either one pays or the other, depends who has most left out of their 'play money' or it comes out of the joint account - its not difficult. My husband took me to the cinema for my birthday this week, but Ive noticed it hasnt left him enough so Ive given him some back.
OTOH I know lots of people who completely merged their money, it doesnt seem odd or illogical either.

I also know a couple who were both on their second marriage, if one nipped to the shops to get crisps for the other, the money would always be paid back. I was 15 when I worked for them, they were both in their 60's. I thought it was odd to be paying back 30p to your husband/wife because they got you crisps you asked for :undecided-

now I suspect it was a pragmatic response to lessons learned in the first marriages of them both. It doesnt mean they loved or trusted each other any less.

zippygeorgeandben wrote: »

Really interesting post by the OP and a variety of responses. Me and my partner have been together since 1999. It's always been separate pots. I'm quite protective of my money and have created budget plans for friends/family as they know I'm likely to give sound advice. Several actually give me their online account details so I can see and they can let me know what they spent money on and why.
I've always had an interesting relationship with money. From having a zero rating with my bank and store cards coming out of my ears, I'm now debt free of store cards. I do have a few other debts though. In my life when I've gone out with friends/family who earn considerably more than me, I wouldn't dream of letting them pay for me. I've always split things 50/50. I even get annoyed when people 'round up' when transferring to me. My partner has more debt than me and not as much income. He isn't ambitious career wise whereas I am. He also readily admits that he blows money on holidays just because he can. One of my worries is is that he has had plenty of money from his Dad over the past ten years, definitely in the 20k bracket but nothing to show for it. I do have a couple of loans in my name which I gave to him. Holidays are split, monthly shops are split. Perhaps I should explore the avenue of paying more money proportionally as I earn more. However, that still means that I won't have much income for myself as I pay over £650 paying off my credit card/loans.
I realise I'm in the minority with this viewpoint. I do love him lots and lots though so don't be questioning our longevity (18 years so far!)

Ive been in my relationship the same length of time, most of my friends have the exact same set up as yourself.

We have only just merged our finances properly and still keep 'allowances' for ourselves. We both had different approaches to money so it seemed sensible to keep the finances fairly separate. Now our approaches to money are more aligned our finances are also.

A lot of relationships suffer difficulty due to money and perceived imbalences in contibuting to joint ventures such as maintaining the house, raising a family, contributing finances. The finances issue seems really easy to sort out.

For example, our finances are fairly tightly run at the moment, but we get £200 allowance each to spend outside of household, too lazy to make lunch?- the work bought lunch comes out of your allowance, need some new undies? - comes out of allowance. Haircut - comes out of the allowance.

My husband gets his haircut quite expensive, if our finances were joint, I would have to ask him to get his haircut on the cheap at the college the same as I do because, tbf, I think its wasteful - however, that's what he want to do with his play money and he can. Similarly, he would probably ask me to stop paying for Pilates and just use Youtube vids at home but because it comes out of my play money, I can. We dont have to question or discuss it.

I could be argued that his expensive haircuts and my exercise classes will probably balance each other out, but that can quickly lead to point scoring - the death bell of relationships and we have both been peeved before with the other person 'wasting' money. We do most things together, but not everything.

If there is a big spend coming up, it doesnt have to be drama, its discussed. For example, expensive stag weekend will need to come out of joint savings as the 'allowance' money isnt enough to cover it at the moment and he really wants to go. Its fine, its just discussed and the money is allocated....but to have to do that over every haircut or fitness spend decision? nah....just easier to have a couple of accounts or a method to keep things fairly equal :cool:

Perhaps if finances ever get more relaxed then our approach will as well...however, if our finances get better, we will probably look to both work less:D

It is interesting though, I am not sure how we would manage it if one of us worked/earned much less than the other - stumble across that bridge when we get to it!:rotfl:

nkkingston

One thing I recently had waved under my nose regarding allowances is the 'pink tax'. My razors cost more than his because there's VAT on them. My clothes cost more than his and don't last as long (or have pockets, a whole other rant!), and bras are bloody expensive. If you split out things like toiletries and clothing into personal spend categories, you have to take into account that a woman's money doesn't go as far as a man's.

copperclock

nkkingston wrote: »

One thing I recently had waved under my nose regarding allowances is the 'pink tax'. My razors cost more than his because there's VAT on them. My clothes cost more than his and don't last as long (or have pockets, a whole other rant!), and bras are bloody expensive. If you split out things like toiletries and clothing into personal spend categories, you have to take into account that a woman's money doesn't go as far as a man's.

...sanitary products, more expensive haircuts, even the basics are more costly.

And then who pays when you take the kids out and they want ice cream or a milkshake or whatever? What if one partner runs more errands and has to pay for parking more often or fork out for more bus fares?

I suppose whichever way these things are worked out as long as both parties are happy then it's all good.