How do you manage your joint income?

Nevermind309

Me and my wife have separate accounts and always have done, she puts 50% of all the mortgage/bills amount in my account when she gets paid and all of the dd's mortgage etc comes out of my account.

My old dear is always going on at me asking why our money is seperate but i think that is a very old school way of looking at it, we are 35, our £xxx.oop per month to have a nice house and all the bills is split 50/50 and remaining money in our accounts is ours to do with whatever we wish, my wife works out of work on a night sometimes as well and that is her money as well, imagine that conversation when she gets in with £80 in her pocket and me having to tell her to ''put that into our account'' ....er, no thanks. she has earned it, it is hers, just like my yearly bonus, i work my socks off to meet the numbers and i get a bonus, it is mine, i treat my wife out of it every time and she knows it comes out of this and has no problem, i have worked for it so it is my money, i might spend it or save it that is up to me, just like her hair styling money on a night is hers, i've certainly not cut anyones hair to deserve half....

ellesbellesxxx

We have:
A joint account where we both pay in proportionally... this is for direct debits/food shopping
Own accounts for personal spends
Own savings

We see it that it's all OUR money, it's just easier to keep track of having own accounts and joint accounts seeing where money has gone to

Mojisola

Nevermind309 wrote: »

Me and my wife have separate accounts and always have done, she puts 50% of all the mortgage/bills amount in my account when she gets paid and all of the dd's mortgage etc comes out of my account.

My old dear is always going on at me asking why our money is seperate but i think that is a very old school way of looking at it

Well, I'm nearly twice your age and I think having the husband take care of all the financial stuff is a very old-fashioned way of running things.

We've always had a joint account for all our joint spending.

zippygeorgeandben

Scrimps wrote: »

Either one pays or the other, depends who has most left out of their 'play money' or it comes out of the joint account - its not difficult. My husband took me to the cinema for my birthday this week, but Ive noticed it hasnt left him enough so Ive given him some back.
OTOH I know lots of people who completely merged their money, it doesnt seem odd or illogical either.

I also know a couple who were both on their second marriage, if one nipped to the shops to get crisps for the other, the money would always be paid back. I was 15 when I worked for them, they were both in their 60's. I thought it was odd to be paying back 30p to your husband/wife because they got you crisps you asked for :undecided-

now I suspect it was a pragmatic response to lessons learned in the first marriages of them both. It doesnt mean they loved or trusted each other any less.



Ive been in my relationship the same length of time, most of my friends have the exact same set up as yourself.

We have only just merged our finances properly and still keep 'allowances' for ourselves. We both had different approaches to money so it seemed sensible to keep the finances fairly separate. Now our approaches to money are more aligned our finances are also.

A lot of relationships suffer difficulty due to money and perceived imbalences in contibuting to joint ventures such as maintaining the house, raising a family, contributing finances. The finances issue seems really easy to sort out.

For example, our finances are fairly tightly run at the moment, but we get £200 allowance each to spend outside of household, too lazy to make lunch?- the work bought lunch comes out of your allowance, need some new undies? - comes out of allowance. Haircut - comes out of the allowance.

My husband gets his haircut quite expensive, if our finances were joint, I would have to ask him to get his haircut on the cheap at the college the same as I do because, tbf, I think its wasteful - however, that's what he want to do with his play money and he can. Similarly, he would probably ask me to stop paying for Pilates and just use Youtube vids at home but because it comes out of my play money, I can. We dont have to question or discuss it.

I could be argued that his expensive haircuts and my exercise classes will probably balance each other out, but that can quickly lead to point scoring - the death bell of relationships and we have both been peeved before with the other person 'wasting' money. We do most things together, but not everything.

If there is a big spend coming up, it doesnt have to be drama, its discussed. For example, expensive stag weekend will need to come out of joint savings as the 'allowance' money isnt enough to cover it at the moment and he really wants to go. Its fine, its just discussed and the money is allocated....but to have to do that over every haircut or fitness spend decision? nah....just easier to have a couple of accounts or a method to keep things fairly equal :cool:

Perhaps if finances ever get more relaxed then our approach will as well...however, if our finances get better, we will probably look to both work less:D

It is interesting though, I am not sure how we would manage it if one of us worked/earned much less than the other - stumble across that bridge when we get to it!:rotfl:

This was put so much more succinctly than my original post! Yes the point scoring I could see a happy couple getting drawn into. Perhaps I've watched too many Judge Judy's as well with the hassle of people saying 'I paid for this, and he paid for that'.
Partner wants takeaway tonight. Text me at 2pm and I said 'no' (well not quite in that pleasant tone..) then he said I'll pay, I said maybe tomorrow and he keeps pulling sad faces at me now and laying the guilt on for me saying no! It'll be £27, I really ought to pay but I'm budgeting as well to pay my own debts off. I'm going to House of Fraser returning £380 of clothes I bought on a whim in the sale. Can I afford them? Yes - but £380 is an extra repayment of my credit card. Do I sound mean? Rhetorical question!

EssexHebridean

Nevermind309 wrote: »

Me and my wife have separate accounts and always have done, she puts 50% of all the mortgage/bills amount in my account when she gets paid and all of the dd's mortgage etc comes out of my account.

My old dear is always going on at me asking why our money is seperate but i think that is a very old school way of looking at it, we are 35, our £xxx.oop per month to have a nice house and all the bills is split 50/50 and remaining money in our accounts is ours to do with whatever we wish, my wife works out of work on a night sometimes as well and that is her money as well, imagine that conversation when she gets in with £80 in her pocket and me having to tell her to ''put that into our account'' ....er, no thanks. she has earned it, it is hers, just like my yearly bonus, i work my socks off to meet the numbers and i get a bonus, it is mine, i treat my wife out of it every time and she knows it comes out of this and has no problem, i have worked for it so it is my money, i might spend it or save it that is up to me, just like her hair styling money on a night is hers, i've certainly not cut anyones hair to deserve half....

Genuine question - if you drop down dead tomorrow, can she pay the bills until such time as the bank release the contents of your account to her?

Maiden_Mum

We have one joint account and one joint savings account! We don't have any restrictions on it, we are in the marriage together<

Scrimps

Maiden_Mum wrote: »

We have one joint account and one joint savings account! We don't have any restrictions on it, we are in the marriage together<

I would be genuinely interested how you manage a budget?
We wanted to go to the cinema this afternoon but have realised neither of us have enough money left, without any restrictions we would have gone and then run out of money before the end of the month.
Some people seem to be naturally very good at just not running out of money, I dont know how they do it.

fromtheshires

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Genuine question - if you drop down dead tomorrow, can she pay the bills until such time as the bank release the contents of your account to her?

I have the same set up as Nevermind309. For those who haven't read my previous responses, its because the house, bills etc were all mine beforehand.

We are lucky that our mortgage is small enough that even someone on minimum wage could afford it and still have 3/4 of their wages left and even though we have single accounts, our finances are very much openly discussed and we both have emergency funds to cover 6 months of joint expenses.

This is a valid question though most bills would stop upon notification of death and can be sorted out with the suppliers after the fact. I hardly think calling the gas board would be a top priority on day one or if you decided to plough on with telling them I'm sure they would be more than reasonable in dealing with you.

Houseplant26

This thread is so interesting!

I'm renting a place with my OH of nearly 4 years but we have only live together for heading for a year.

We have a joint account where all household bills go out of (except shopping for the household).

He pays in £100 more than me and we both slightly overpay to create in effect some joint savings. We will likely use this towards a holiday we both desperately want and need but eventually it may also become a house deposit pot or steps towards that.

Interested my OH has savings and earns quite a significant amount more than me. I have no debts apart from a student loan but I also have negligible savings due to low salary (working on it!).

He essentially saves an amount that leaves him with maybe only £200 more desposible income than me so day to day we 'feel' fairly equal.

I do slightly more chores than him but I have spoken to him about either him contributing more financially freeing up me more if I continue to take the lead on cooking and meal planning or him doing more and he has opted to do more.

Sometimes I wish we were a bit more joint but also its still relatively early days for us, we can spend as we want (both incidentally frugally me especially now as trying to build some savings) to an extent on fun stuff.

I am hoping his savings would eventually become ours as and when we wish to buy a home but definitely if we had children. For me that's when things need to be near to 100% shared and owned together.

Houseplant26

Oh and to add to the perceived inconvenience of awkwardness we do usually do a food shop on one of our individual accounts and the other transfer half, same with most dates but sometimes he will treat me or much more rarely me him. He is aware he earns more than me and sometimes I ask for a dinner out! Doesn't feel too awkward for us and I feel we're doing ok with discussing money. Occasionally I feel hard done by but that's more about my own sense of self and valuing myself by my earnings - as I'd not rush to spend the money if I had it now, and it would be spent with him!