Sashybo - Back Again

Treadingonplaymobil

I think in many ways the 'worst' age gap is the standard 2.5-3yr one - I have 2.5 between DC1 and 2, and 3 between DC2 and 3, naturally. They are old enough to want to do lots of things and to really feel the upheaval of the new DC, but still a long way off from being school age and you having time for the youngest. We tried for a smaller age gap the first time but it wasn't to be, and I still think it would have been easier in some ways. The people I know who have had the easiest time in terms of sibling relationship have either a tiny (13-18 month) gap or a large (4-5) year gap. The bigger age gap has the advantage of the older starting school, but the disadvantage of parents getting older and also being stuck in the baby stage for longer, which was a large part of our reason not for having bigger age gaps - I hated the baby stage and wanted out of it!

My DC1 more or less ignored DC2 for TWO YEARS after he was born (the child bears a grudge), although never tried to hurt him or anything, but both DC1 and 2 have always been fine with DC3, and these days (9, 6 and 3yo) they all rub along perfectly well and play in various combinations or all together perfectly happily. I think in the long run it comes down to personality more than age gaps.

sashybo

Hi TOPM, yes I think you're right in that it's a personality thing in the long run, all babies/children are different so it makes sense. I allegedly said when asked if I liked the new baby (my sister) "NO! HATE the new baby" :rotfl: but we mostly got along as I was apparently quite a placid child. Impressive grudge-bearing by DC1 though - two years is real commitment. :eek::rotfl:

I don't think I could bear getting DS to 5 & then having to go back to dealing with a baby again, although this is unlikely as age issue again. Of course a second child might never happen at all, this is all hypothetical as DH still veering wildly between no way & maybe. :rotfl: I think he would like another but doesn't want to admit it & give me any encouragement. :rotfl: I know he adores DS and I think the strength of the love he has for him has kind of hit him over the head & he's still a bit dazed.

Managed to get the washings done today & also the ironing, along with the usual small amounts of washing up/tidying. :j I even threw in a bit of hoovering - highly unusual as this is normally DH's job.

Also discovered that one of the cats had taken a liking to one of DS's soft silicone bibs & had chewed it and destroyed part of it. :eek: So that's another thing that can't be left out, luckily we had 2 so the chewed one is in the bin & the intact one is safely in the cupboard. I suspect naughty small cat as she has previously destroyed 2 silicone pastry brushes by chewing & swallowing the bristles. :eek: Can't be too bad for her as she is still alive.

I managed half an hour of yoga & then a shower after DS went to bed but he then woke up about half 10 and it took over an hour to get him back to sleep again. Fingers crossed he sleeps for the rest of the night, he had not too bad a sleep last night after waking up at a similar time.

My tomato & chilli seeds aren't showing any signs of life at the moment but my sweet peas have started popping their heads up from the compost. Chillies can take quite a while to germinate but the tomato seeds should be doing something by around 7 days, which is tomorrow. Hoping they will start but if not I have more seeds so can try again. Potatoes still chitting, will need to get them planted in the next couple of weeks.

DH away to visit his friend until Sunday, he has already FaceTimed DS. DS thoroughly confused & kept trying to grab the tablet but did do some clapping for daddy. :rotfl: DH FaceTimes his parents with DS quite a lot so they can see him but DS is usually more interested in our cats & we have to try & get his attention back towards the tablet. :rotfl:

enthusiasticsaver

Interesting chat about gaps between DC. I had 17 months between my 2 DDs and they got along brilliantly as small children, hated each other as teenagers and now get along fine as adults. 2 totally different characters though. My DD has a 2 year old DD and is expecting her 2nd DD early May and will have a 2.5 year gap. Not sure how my DGD will take to the new baby but my DD and son in law said they wanted to get sleepless nights over in relatively short time period as they are only having 2 children. My DGD sleeps well now but was a nightmare for the first year.

Is your mum available to help sashy while your DH away?

enthusiasticsaver

My DD has also found her 2 cats misbehaved after my granddaughter was born. Chewing cables and chargers etc although they are lovely with my DGD but keep their distance. It comes to something when you not only have to consider sibling relationships but pets too :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

enthusiasticsaver

Not sure what the situation is with childcare costs in Scotland and if you will need paid child care when you go back to work but my DD did tell me the other day with her MSE head on she had deliberately planned the age gap between her 2 DDs so the elder one got 30 hours free childcare under the new scheme just as the baby will need childcare too. This is so she is only paying for 1 at a time.

We help with one day and other grandparents do another day but she still needs 3 days care from 9am until 3pm while the girls will be at nursery.

Something perhaps to bear in mind as having 2 in paid childcare at the same time is expensive .

sashybo

Hi enthusiasticsaver :hello:

Yes it's interesting to hear about other people's experiences with age gaps.

My mum has been working night shifts & then has my nieces & nephew from tonight until Saturday so won't be able to help much. Although I'm picking the kids up from my mum on Saturday late afternoon for a couple of hours so will at least see her.

My 2 boy cats have been pretty good since DS arrived but naughty small girl cat has been very naughty. I have no idea how they would react to another baby. :eek::rotfl:

Paid child care probably wouldn't be much use as we're both shift workers so to be honest I've not really looked into it much. As far as I know we won't be entitled to anything until the 15 hours when DS is 3, which as you say is meant to be doubled to 30 but I don't know when that will be happening. It is something to consider though, I need to see how my shifts work out.

sashybo

Have got nothing done today except putting one washing away & hanging a wet one up. Also took DS out in his pram as it was dry & he hasn't been out for a couple of days. We walked about for 30 mins & pushing him back up the hill to get home was hard work.

The department manager at work (so my boss's boss's boss - does that make sense? :rotfl:) phoned me today asking me to come in on a mid shift instead of late shift on my first KIT day on Monday. She wants me to go to a meeting with her, HR & a union rep. Assuming it's about my role being done away with in the department re-organisation & my application for a job share but not sure. Fingers crossed it's not bad news though. On the bright side I'll be working until 8pm instead of half 11. Need to make minestrone soup to take to work for late lunch/early dinner.

Might try & do a bit of baking tonight after putting DS to bed as have bananas to use up. My nieces and nephew are coming here for their dinner tomorrow as my sister is working & my mum is going out tomorrow night so I said I'd pick them up late afternoon from mum so she can get ready. The kids never stop eating so will put on a loaf as well tonight, might need to buy more milk too.

redofromstart

It does sound like something restructure related but the usual rule of thumb is the last person you make redundant is someone who is pg or on ordinary mat leave. Good that you will have support from the union though.

sashybo

Hi redo, yes we've been told they have a no redundancy policy but who knows what they will try to offer me instead. I'm a bit worried they will turn down the job share application as there is no "business need" & they are trying to cut numbers. As you say, at least there will be a union rep there, although I've only met him once before.

So DS decided sleeping is for wimps last night & only slept for 2 hours before waking up & refusing to go back to sleep for 3 :eek: hours. I ended up falling asleep with him in the chair in his room then managed to get him into his cot again just before 1am. He then woke up again at 3am so I just took him into my bed so we could both actually get more than 2 hours sleep. So tired.

Needless to say I didn't get any baking done last night. I did put the ingredients for a loaf into the bread maker then completely forgot to switch it on. :mad:

sashybo

DS is currently in bed, just praying he'll sleep through tonight, wouldn't bet on it though. He is exhausted though as refused to have his afternoon nap.

Picked my nieces & nephew up from my mum's this afternoon which is why DS refused to sleep. He was too interested in watching his big cousins.

Got the kids to help me make dinner - had two chopping & peeling veg for minestrone soup and the other mixing up the ingredients for 2 lots of banana bread. Had a proper child labour factory line going. :rotfl: We needed 4 eggs for the banana bread as doubling up but only had 3 so just chucked some milk in & they turned out fine.

My brother then came round with his youngest (18 months) just in time for the soup so fed them too. My loaf of bread from this morning (after I remembered to switch the machine on) disappeared very quickly! One of the loaves of banana bread also got devoured, the kids never stop eating! :eek: Glad I made 2 as DH wouldn't have been too happy if he didn't get any. :rotfl:

Good news is that DS didn't scream when he saw his toddler cousin, he actually smiled at her this time. :j I think I need to take him to see her more often, he's just having a funny phase where he cries when he sees kids he doesn't see regularly but is ok with adults.

Took a small gammon joint out of the freezer tonight so will cook it in the slow cooker tomorrow with some ginger ale & then stick it in the oven to crisp up a bit. DH should get home early afternoon depending on traffic.