Bricks Not Books

VintageHistorian

Every single year I tell myself I'll do my last OP of the year on the 30th and every single year I forget and am annoyed with myself.

I have learnt my lesson and I have done my final OP of the year just now. It was a £10.18 Tilly Tidy and has nudged me over my target of overpaying £400 this year.

Finally OP total for 2025 - £404.57!

Food spending has got a bit out of control over Christmas. Some how I spent £52 in Waitrose yesterday and then a further £27 with Tesco I didn't actually intend to go to Tesco but there were no yellowstickers in Waitrose, just a lot of fresh stuff with use by dates of the 29th and 30th. I also spent £8 on two desserts for me and Mr VH to see the year out and in with. Lesson for next year - Just buy one of the larger cheesecakes in the future.

Tesco on the other hand was more generous with the reductions. I got a large pack of beef mince, a small pack of beef mince, and a large pack of diced stewing beef, all for 1/3 or more off. Annoyingly I had already bought some stewing steak in Waitrose but I've put one of those in the freezer for a future meal. I've put the smaller packet of mince in the freezer too, and I'm going to use the big pack of mince to make bolognese for me and Mr VH. The large stewing pack is in the slowcooker right now, ready for dinner tomorrow.

DS has turned into a bossy little soul over the past two days. Mr VH was working yesterday so I took him to my parents house where the extended family helped tire him out and distract him. Mr VH got up with him this morning, once I was up we got him dressed (with great difficulty) and then I took him for a long walk in his pushchair. He's now napping, as is Mr VH.

We had a lovely Christmas. I now have another big pile of books and nowhere to put them. It's the kind of problem I like to have. Before I get too absorbed in my new ones I think I'll have a re-read of a few that I remember disliking first time round, to see if any can be jettisoned to the charity shop to make some space. I have a lot of books I enjoying going back over when I'm in the mood so I tend to keep them, but the bookcase situation is getting critical. Mr VH has just as many and will often only read them once, but will not give them up for love nor money. So we have a problem of our own making.

The alternative though is not having any books at all and that's just not the world I wish to live in. I need to be a little more ruthless, or at least accept that after two reads and a firm thumbs down both times it means the book is not for me and must go. Other lovely gifts include chocolate, socks, homemade biscuits, and my lovely new planner! DS also got toys and his very own tricycle, which is currently sitting in the boot of my car (hidden) as God knows where we're going to put it in the house, or where he'll be able to ride it. It will be great when we go on holiday later in the year though, assuming we can still get suitcases and things in around it.

We do need to have another toy declutter, and maybe start moving things up to DS's room. He does now have more storage up there and I can see a few toys around that I think would be better once he's past his next birthday, so I might suggest to Mr VH that we put a few things away to make space now and bring them back out over the summer, then other things can be packed away in the storage down here.

This afternoon I'm popping out to pick up some bits from Olio, to make me feel better about the food costs situation. I've requested cherry tomatoes, mixed peppers, green beans, and a bag of Maris Pipers. The tomatoes and a pepper just need to last until Wednesday, when I can make them into soup. Green beans could be eaten tonight, and the potatoes should be fine for a week in the fridge.

Dinner tonight is beef stew with dumplings and mashed potato. Should make 4 portions but god knows where in the freezer I can squeeze in 2 of them, they might need to sit in the fridge for a day or two alongside the bolognese I need to make!

Have a good week everyone, and if I don't see you at the end of the year - Happy New Year!

VintageHistorian

My parents have had DS today so after a breakfast of toast (with no one asking to share it XD) I have run around like a blue bummed fly:

• Started dinner in the slow cooker (trying a new recipe, "Italian beef braised in red wine").
• Cleaned the toilet and sink (Mr VH normally cleans but he's working several Saturdays in a row so this is a quick refresh).
• Wiped around the kitchen and done the washing up.
• Cleared out a bread bin that was storing scented candles. It's currently outside with a note inviting anyone who wants it to take it home.
• Sorted out a big bag of muslins, some size 2 unused nappies and some unopened baby toiletries for a pregnant colleague.
• Changed DS's bedsheets.
• Washed DS's bedsheets along with some other laundry stragglers, and put them outside to begin drying.
• Sorted out some of DS's toys and bits of paper, artwork etc. Some things have been binned, some have been moved to the shelf in his bedroom, and a brief reorganisation means one of his larger Christmas presents now has a place to live when it's not being played with.

I'm sure there was something else I did but I can't remember it. I was going to de-Christmas the living room a bit but actually I don't want to say goodbye to the decs just yet. And DS will be very upset when the lights come down so I'll delay that until 12th night.

I still need to peel some potatoes to go with dinner but first I need some lunch!

VintageHistorian

I have been instructed to head over to get DS in half an hour so figured I would pop back here for an update.

A while ago I mentioned on here I was investing some money in a few therapy sessions. At the time I was having a great deal of difficulty around a landmark birthday, the choice around having a second child etc. In total I had 6 sessions, which was a good amount as I had an issue I was working on rather than struggling through a bout of difficult mental health.

Ultimately the conclusion I came to was that although I would be happy to have another baby, I simply could not face another pregnancy. It would be my fourth one, it would need the exact same medication regime as DS (I'd already got confirmation from the hospital that we could have the same support), and although I can now say I've had one successful pregnancy I know that the two previous losses would weigh on me just as much. DS needs a Mummy who is mentally healthy, not one who can't pick him up or who won't run around after him because she's terrified of causing a miscarriage. And if we did lose one then he would suddenly have two very sad parents and no real understanding of "why". It's one thing to choose that risk for myself and Mr VH, quite another to put DS through it too.

Obviously it would be different if I was younger and we could wait a few years until he's in school. But I'm now 40 and the risks around everything (miscarriage, difficult labour, longterm health problems) is now going up. If we'd had DS when I was 35 then we might go for it later down the line, but that would be to wish for a different life. So although I feel a bit sad about it, I have a big family and I wanted something similar for DS, I know it's the best decision for the three of us.

The upside to it is that I was saving for another round of maternity leave and that money can now be distributed to a few pots. I won't put many specifics here, but the most relevant bit for here is that I'm going knock £1000 off the mortgage in the new year. And the get a few other savings pots started or finished off including:

• Saving for a new car (this will be long term, I want to get at least 2 more years out of the current car).
• Finishing off my emergency fund (only needs a few hundred pounds for this, once it's "full" it will cover 6 months of expenses).
• Creating an "educational opportunities" fund for DS (this will be static and will just be run through a regular saver to boost the interest. Mr VH has said he'll match what I put in. We'll then use it for things like clubs, activities or day trips when he's in school that we might otherwise struggle to pay for. Child benefit will still go into his ISA).
• Top up my S&S ISA.
• Put a bit towards the Disney Paris fund.
• Finish off some "prepping" stuff (we're not big preppers but I've recently set us up with an emergency bag and I just need to get some last bits for that, and a solar-powered radio to go in our powercut box).

Starting the savings for the new car is the main one, about 50% of my maternity savings are going to go towards that. I will then be putting £150 a month towards it, plus anything extra I might earn during the year. I just don't want to be caught in the same situation as last time, where the car broke down so many times that I no longer felt safe driving it and had to rush to buy a replacement. Next time I want to have a chance to look around properly and take my time, and get something with an engine bigger than 1.4 litres because crawling up hills is infuriating.

And now I need to go get DS. Happy New Year everyone!

Merlin's_Beard

I'm glad, even if it was a difficult thought to come around to, that you've been able to make the best decision for the circumstances that exist and that you've been able to have that help to make it.

beanielou

Glad that you have made the right decision for your wee family and seem to be at peace with it 🤗

VintageHistorian

Happy New Year everyone! It's taking longer than usual to get back into the swing of things and I'm not sure why.

£1000 was paid off the mortgage at the beginning of the month and a further £27 has been taken off thanks to the usual smaller contributions. The emergency fund has been finished off, I rounded it up to £8000 (only needed a few hundred from the mat leave fund) which will cover 6 months expenses. I haven't taken anything out for the new car yet as a regular saver matures next month, once the interest comes in I can finish off that shuffle. I think I'll keep the maternity leave savings account itself open and repurpose it for Disney as I need somewhere to save non-cash payments.

I've been back at work for a few weeks. Had to have one emergency day off due to Mum being ill and unable to look after DS. It was just a bug so she's back to normal. If I'm doing my calculations right I have 10 days of leave left. I normally have a week off in June so that will use up some, and my parents are off on holiday next month so I'm using one day to cover childcare. The others I will save to cover other childcare emergencies and hopefully if they don't get used up I can have a few shorter weeks before the holiday year restarts. You can't carry anything forward at my place and I refuse to let good annual leave go to waste.

But yes, I'm struggling a bit at the moment. I had a bit of a dentist scare the other week as I suddenly had bad jaw pain for a week. It only started to clear up when I began drinking more water and trying to stop leaning with my chin in my hand quite so much. But it was enough to bring up the old dentist phobia and I'm still not properly settled. Then there's the redundancy risk at work, the lack of resource as things currently stand etc. It's all piled up on me a bit.

I keep looking around and seeing different side hustles and self employed things I would like to do. But I want to do them all, not just pick one. And I have no time, I'm too tired in the evenings to do much and too busy during the day. I want to have the leisure to dabble in things and try them, just to see if anything proves interesting enough to stick with. I suspect a lot of people feel that way though, the reality is that unless you can afford to take a few years off work it's not really feasible.

Also I'm self-aware enough to know that without the discipline of colleagues and a manager I would soon devolve into sitting in my pyjamas all day watching Disney plus. I think it's a combinaton of wanting to earn a bit more (promotion and a pay rise are not even vaguely possible at work), wanting to have a back up in case employment implodes, and wanting to do a bit more with DS. My wages have stagnated, moving jobs isn't an option right now, so earning an extra couple of hundred pounds a month would ease things a little and would give me something to take forward should redundancy land on my desk. And DS is getting chattier and more energetic by the day and I want us to be able to afford to take him to a few more places before he has to start school and we become subject to the vagaries of term time.

Lots of word salad here so I'm going to stop before I send everyone to sleep. Dinner tonight was a lovely toad in the hole. As a sign of how unsettled I am, I had to convince myself to actually cook it tonight even though it's one of my favourite meals.

Have a good weekend everyone!

VintageHistorian

£4.21 OP made to the mortgage.

This week we've had some bathroom refresh work done. New seals on the glass door that makes the end of the bathtub into a shower (they were cracked, broken and discoloured) plus all the old mastic, which was slowly going mouldy, was removed, the space treated and checked to make sure there's been no leaks, and then replaced with nice bright new mastic. Oh and we also had the dripping bathroom sink tap replaced (it's been leaking for years and another plumber and FIL have both been stumped by the issue).

Combined with the new extractor fan and the replacement lights, we've spent £800 to make the bathroom look much nicer. It didn't need more than that as we had it all replaced when we bought the house (it was disgusting), but this is a refresher after nearly 9 years of daily use.

The flat feeling has continued this week and I finally caved in and took a day off sick on Friday. DS had a bad drop off at nursery, I had bad cramps, and realised I just couldn't struggle through another day. So I sent a few quick work emails and told my boss and then logged off for the day. Read a book, listened to some music, pottered around, let my brain unwind a bit.

I think part of the problem is simply the weather. I like rain and I like cold but I don't necessarily like the two together and I really don't like when it becomes just day after day of grey and overcast. I'm not usually negatively affected by the seasons but the grey just seems to be endless at the moment. The other part of the problem is that my workplace is now facing rounds of redundancies and for my area this will be starting in April. In theory this means I have definite job security until April and I should be grateful for that. But it does also mean a lot of uncertainty (am I risk or am I not at risk) until April. It's also having an impact on the general mood of the place as well.

So after letting my brain unwind and stop poisoning itself with its own fear I'm starting to come up with a small plan of action. The bathroom is done so that's the big project for this year ticked off, and it's paid for from the "home improvements" fund. I would get about £6.5k in redundancy pay, not overly generous but better than a kick in the teeth. I also have £8000 in my emergency fund, plus other cash stashed in various sinking pots that could be drawn on in a crisis. Financially I am in a better place than many in this country so that's nothing to be sneezed at.

I'm going to look at spending somewhere between £50 and £100 to get bulk buy a bits and bobs in that are semi-regular expenses. Mostly thinking along the lines of olive oil, baked beans, teabags, dishwasher tablets, and toiletries. Long life, can sit in a cupboard, will eventually be used but can wait until bad news rolls in, and if it doesn't roll in then I've just front-loaded some costs for next year. I'm also going to try to get into the habit of reviewing the freezer contents every month, instead of once a year when I can't remember how much bolognese is left. A more accurate picture of food stocks will help.

Should redundancy notices start landing then I will also start looking at getting more things up on eBay and in my personal shop to help build up the buffer. I have a pile of decluttered clothes and academic textbooks that need to be sold and I just don't get round to it. Obviously I will try to get them listed before April but they're there if I need a distracting project to cope with the stress.

Having a plan is definitely helping. I like to think ahead but that can hard when all you can't see the wood for the trees. If I have a plan then I know I can cope, it's being unable to think of the plan that makes me feel more anxious about it all.

Dinner tonight is a slow cooker sausage casserole, which we'll have with mashed potato. I bought a huge mashed potato dish this week as the smaller one was sold out, so some will be set aside for DS to have on Wednesday night. Last night we had the emergency Christmas turkey breast from the freezer and I set a bit of the meat aside for DS to have, so he can have turkey, mash, peas, low-salt gravy, and a yorkshire pudding. I also managed to put some of the meat in the freezer so we have roast dinner for one ready to go.

Have a good week everyone, try not to let your brains poison themselves with stress too!

beanielou

Always good to have a wee plan 🤗

South_coast

Sounds like you're thinking things through very sensibly, hope you feel better this week x

Merlin's_Beard

Sounds like that sick day did you the world of good. Plan sounds sensible as well