Bricks Not Books

VintageHistorian

ruby_eskimo said:

Good to hear the iron levels are going up - mine are going drastically down as I stupidly forgot to take my tablets for a few days so feel like a rather exhausted zombie!  I know different areas do different things but the health visitors I used to work with would use the pre-birth visit to introduce the service (the developmental checks they're required to do, support offered such as breastfeeding cafe's, advice line etc.) and check that you're as prepared as can be for bringing a new-born baby home.  Keeping everything crossed that the baby decides that they want to move position soon!

Thanks Ruby! It was mostly just updating their records and as you say, telling me what services they can offer. It sounds like there's extra breastfeeding support if I need it, but whether that would actually materialise in fact is another matter. Not to say that health visitors are liars but again, funding is cut so badly to these things that I'm hesitant to assume they will actually be available to me should I need it.

powerspowers said:

Nice to hear your news VH and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly. My sister has just had a baby, she was stressing about induction vs c-section as her first baby’s delivery (induced at 2+ weeks over) was a nightmare. She was induced a week early this time due to a pre-existing condition and it seemed a much more positive experience than with her first. Sometimes you only hear the horror stories xx

Thank you powerspowers! To be honest I'm less worried about the actual induction and I am about the increased risks of needing an assisted birth. I know you only hear the horror stories, but unfortunately I have little faith that I'd get to be positive one, not helped by there just not being enough midwives in this country nowadays. And as above, I just don't feel that there's the funding available to help you if you do need physio or mental health support after. I got what's considered to be good help after my first miscarriage and I still had no idea I was at risk of PTSD, for example.

VintageHistorian

I am cream crackered and it's only gone 1pm! So far today I have:

- Gone to the local market, dropped off recycling for the voluntary scheme and bought a bacon roll.
- Picked up my next 30 days of blood thinner from the pharmacy, and more iron tablets.
- Given the kitchen a quick clean (more like "clean", I did the morning washing up and wiped down the surfaces).
- Filed a TCB claim for pancake day. They're offering up to £2 for buying pancake ingredients. I had some eggs in my food shop yesterday so I've submitted my receipt and we'll see if that's enough.
- Put my pyjamas back on and plonked myself down on the sofa.

Health visitor meeting was fine and all as expected. Along with telling me what support they offered I was also asked if my relationship with Mr VH is healthy and do either of us having a history of taking hard drugs. I did consider going "Oh no, we only do cocaine at the weekends now I'm pregnant" but decided I didn't want a massive red flag on file.

Midwife appointment also went fine. Baby had returned to the banana position, and kept moving around while the midwife was trying to A) work out how they were lying and find the heartbeat with the doppler. This is definitely my child, doesn't care for what others expect of them and bloody stubborn. I foresee a lot of clashing of heads in my future, particularly in the teenage years. The world is not ready for it, even if I am XD

I have absolutely no plans for this afternoon. Might watch a movie if I can settle on one. Also need to do the money shuffle. Food prices have jumped up again! We revisited our food budget before Christmas but I think we'll need to take another look after Easter. I'm handing control of the food shopping to Mr VH while he's on paternity leave, it'll be interesting to see how he manages it. Not because he'll go mad and spend a month's worth in a week, but because I think me being in charge of it is sheltering him from seeing a lot of these increases. We can absolutely manage it, it's just becoming quite galling when increased profits for big companies continue to be in the news.

Tomorrow morning a local baby group is holding a small pre-used items sale so I'm going to pop down and see if I can get anything I still need. Currently still on my list is a baby bath, baby towels, and possibly a cheap moses basket. We bought a SnuzPod that has a detachable crib but it's solid wood and a lot heavier than I thought it would be.

So I think we'll need a second-hand moses basket to keep in the living room so I'm not confined upstairs all the time. I've had a look on local selling sites and the price seems to be around £10 to £20, but all the ones listed are covered in frilly bits and decorative fringes etc. We shall see what I can find tomorrow.

I'm now going to go have a hotdog for lunch before scrolling aimlessly for movies. Dinner tonight is nice easy oven pizza. Have a good weekend everyone!

VintageHistorian

Well, I'm now officially off work for just over 12 months. I'm using up 2 weeks of annual leave and then I move straight into maternity leave.

Yesterday I decided it was time to get things done that have been hanging over me for a while. So I went to M&S and got measured for new bras, came away with 2 nursing ones and two "flexi fit" ones that are recommended by other pregnant people, as well as a baby bath towel, some more baby grows in the smaller size (current estimate is that baby will be between 5lb and 6lb) and a sandwich. I also popped to Aldi and got a couple of packs of nappies and two boxes of baby wipes, as they're both recommended online.

Today I'm going to have a little tidy up of the nursery as I just dumped all the nappies and wipes in there when I got home, do some laundry, sort out a click and collect order from Tesco, and finish off more of my hospital bag. I've got maternity PJ bottoms that need a wash, and some more snacks to add to the Tesco order, but I should be able to finish off the baby clothes and my "going home outfit" side of things (although I did say to my husband that my "outfit" may just be a t-shirt and my hoodie thrown over the PJ bottoms if I'm really sore and just want to shuffle to the car and then straight back to bed when we get home).

It's payday so once the mortgage has gone out next week I can sort out the next things on my list; a laundry basket, a bin, and a baby bath with a stand. The bath is throwing me a bit as our bathroom is quite small and a bath with stand will take up a lot of room. But our bathtub is quite deep so there's no way I'll be able to lean down to hold baby and wash them for at least the first few weeks, regardless of how they come out. The other option is the good old fashioned washing up bowl in the kitchen but baby could grow out of that quite fast and then we're back to the bath issue. I'm going to look on Facebook for a bath so then at least I don't have to think I've potentially spent £50 on a solution that doesn't work, I'll have spent £20 instead.

Consultant appointment tomorrow and midwife on Thursday. Baby still seems to be the wrong way round (at least they stuck their head under my ribs repeatedly over the weekend and yesterday). Since I'm now 36 weeks I suspect Serious Conversations will need to happen tomorrow about my options and what's best for me and baby. I've told Mr VH that I'd like some actual numbers instead of just the "increased risk" talk we've had so far. 1% to 2% is a doubling of your risk but still very low in the grander scheme of things.

And now since it's almost 11am I will get up and get dressed as I'm still in my PJs, put the laundry in the machine and have another cup of tea before I start on the nursery tidy up. Dinner tonight is sausages, mash, beans and gravy.

Have a good week everyone!

Cornish_mum

Hi Vintage,
lovely to hear that you have started your mat leave. 

Please ignore this if not helpful. My experience of being a new mum was everyone wanted to give me advice. 

We found washing baby number one in the sink very effective (hardly ever used the baby bath for him, he was/is an extremely mucky chap! so needed several water changes). Number two was afraid of being in water without an adult so she was washed in the adult bath with one of us with her. Both of my kids were small too so we managed with new born stuff for sometime.

The hardest thing about baby baths is the filling and emptying of them. 

CM

VintageHistorian

Thank you @Cornish_mum - unfortunately our kitchen sink isn't very deep or very large and doesn't have much space around it. If we had one of those lovely butler sinks (my MIL had one and bathed Mr VH and his sister in it when they were littlies) then I'd probably go with that. As it is I think baby would only really fit for a few brief weeks before they outgrow it and we'd be back to square one.

VintageHistorian

I did indeed tidy the nursery, so that now looks a lot more organised. Nappies and wipes are stashed away in various drawers, whether I remember which draws in a sleep-deprived fog is another matter but it's a small room so they can't go far!

My parents came back from a 2 week holiday and Mum was shocked that I hadn't finished getting everything needed Which was the kick up the bum I needed. Mr VH ended up ordering a baby bath with a stand off Amazon, I've bought the last hospital bag bits off Amazon, and I've got a shopping basket up on Argos that I just need to finalise. My aunt has kindly offered to sort out a moses basket, and a friend is sorting out her muslin stash so I'll be getting a small pile from her.

The consultant appointment on Wednesday ended up being cancelled as there was an emergency at the main hospital so they needed a doctor on site. This meant no Serious Conversation. But I still had the midwife appointment on Thursday and she was quite upbeat about the possibility of needing a c-section and emphasised that I'll have opportunities to ask more questions before I decide. She directed me to RCOG guidance on ECV (the thing where they try to turn baby around so they're head down) and said I should send a text and she can book me in if I want to give it a try.

Ultimately I've decided to not risk it. There's a low (1 in 200) chance that it will cause placental bleeding and my history makes me feel like that's the bit that makes me quite anxious. Having come this far I don't want to risk a last minute disaster and feel that I went through weeks of jabs and taking every possible precaution, only to fail at the final hurdle. Mr VH also had a read of the guidance and went "Well that all sounds awful" so he's not keen on giving it a try either.

I've now got my rearranged consultant appointment on Tuesday so I'll be able to ask more questions then. And I should have another appointment with a different consultant soon, nothing has come through the post but the midwife took another blood sample for another iron profile check so said that might prompt the appointment to come through. I had forgotten about the blood test request so did my bloodthinning jab before going to the appointment. Ended up with a trickle running down my arm and a few drops on the floor! Me and the midwife kept apologising to each other, her for not getting me to hold the cotton wool down for long enough and me for bleeding on the floor. Funnily enough though I didn't feel light headed or dizzy afterwards, but I still bought and ate a kitkat in case my blood sugars decided to take a spontaneous nosedive.

February overpayments were £137.27. I cashed out a Prolific payment yesterday and transferred that to my account so that can go towards the first March OP. I've got just over £20 sitting in TCB which I should really claim, but I think that's it for my claimable balances on various platforms at the moment.

Dinner tonight is a very indulgent chicken breasts wrapped in parma ham (cost of living crisis you say?) with potato wedges, baby corn, and some other veg, so I should go and start peeling potatoes so they're ready! Have a good weekend everyone!

ruby_eskimo

Keeping fingers crossed for a good consultant appointment this week.  Sounds like you're really getting there with the preparations and hoping for a smooth few weeks for you all.

Moneyfordreams

Lovely to read your pregnancy is progressing well - fingers crossed your baby gets a wiggle on to turn for you!! I hope the consultant review will reduce any fears xx

VintageHistorian

Rant incoming. It is a story of cancelled appointments, feet dragging, and will probably involve me crying on a midwife tomorrow.

In my last post I mentioned having an appointment with a consultant last Tuesday. Turned out it was by phone (thank God they called before I got in the car as I thought it was at the hospital!) and the consultant I spoke to, yet another different one, agreed that if I didn't want to try the ECV then I should discuss a c-section. But they needed another scan to confirm the baby's position so could I possibly come in the next day at 6pm to the Maternity Triage section, where someone would perform a scan and then I could see a consultant in person, discuss c-section risks, and get booked in.

Showed up at 5:45 on Wednesday because it was icy and snowing. Triage was busy and it turns out 6pm wasn't an actual appointment time, it's when appointments have finished and pregnant people can just show up and wait. Eventually got scanned by a midwife after 7pm, and they discovered that baby had flipped into almost the right position! No idea when they did that as I was sure the head had been shoved under my ribs about 2 hours before. Midwives were happy to send me home, and got very cofused when I said I still wanted to discuss a c-section. After coming back to ask why I wanted one they agreed I could wait, but said that there was only one consultant so they couldn't tell me when I'd see them.

By 8:30 I was tired, very hungry, really uncomfortable and a bit fed up. So I stuck my head round the door and asked if I could come back the next day (Thursday). After umming and aahing they checked the diary and found a space at 3pm for me! Went home via McDonalds for me and Mr VH, who had been at work and thus was waiting at home for me.

Show up on Thursday, still need to wait another hour but did eventually see a consultant. Explained my reasons for wanting a c-section (which I won't go into in detail here but include my concern that a need to induce me could lead to me needing interventions) and she agreed that I should have one. But on going to look at my notes spotted that I have an appointment with my "regular" consultant (who I've never actually met as the previous appointment was cancelled and the one before that I met a colleague instead) this week, and she felt that it would be more appropriate for her to go through the consent paperwork for me as she knows the history of my case better (in theory). So I would need to wait until the following Wednesday (aka today) to book it.

Yesterday we had our final growth scan, in preparation for today's consultant appointment. Except that while we were having the scan the same unit we were sitting in phoned my mobile to inform me that all consultant clinics were cancelled due to the junior doctor's strike. Oh and the ultrasound revealed that while baby is still growing well, they have in fact flipped themselves back into breech position.

In the end to get my phone to stop ringing my husband went out and spoke to the office to explain the situation. Then of course the midwives were concerned that baby is breech and I may need a c-section, so please could I go to maternity triage at 6pm on Wednesday (aka today) to discuss my options with a consultant as any c-section should be booked for my 39th week...

And then Triage phoned at 8.30 this morning to say that if I come in at 6pm they don't know when I'll get to speak to anyone as they only have on-call consultants and if they're busy I could be waiting a long time again, would I prefer to swap to 3pm on Thursday instead as then there should be more doctors around. I agreed, hung up the phone, burst into tears and got a bit panicky as I'm 38 weeks pregnant and currently have no birth plan whatsoever, tried to phone back to change back to 6pm today but couldn't get through as the lines don't open until 9am, and then realised that Mr VH is working from home tomorrow so if I stick with 3pm tomorrow then he can come with me and ask any questions he wants answered as well.

I'm also seeing the community midwife tomorrow (but have been warned it won't be my normal midwife as she's off) and as above, I suspect I'm going to end up crying over this entire mess. I know hospitals aren't keen on planned c-sections but I'm not keen on being a high risk pregnancy with two miscarriages to my name, being put through a lot of uncertainty and stress because I can't get any real continuity of care. I'm genuinely terrified of going into labour with no plan, no agreement for a c-section, and risking being bullied by midwives into consenting to medical treatment or interventions that I've already said I don't want. And I'm not willing to keep chopping and changing on the basis that baby "might" flip back into the right position.

And there we have my dramatic rant. Apologies to NHS staff reading this, I know it's the system that's under pressure and you're just doing your best. But Christ alive do I wish I could stop being shoved from pillar to post, or at least have someone read my notes before speaking to me.

In OP news I sent an extra £135.52 off to the mortgage.

Moneyfordreams

You are entitled to rant. It is a stressful enough time without the added moveable appointments and no resolution to your questions. I'm sorry you are experiencing this when you deserve, gentle, calming processes that are reassuring. 

I hope you have an answer xx