Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

sukeyboo

lessonlearned wrote: »

MAman..... I love the way you people watch. It's a great way to learn isn't it.

Right.....here we go again.

POSTURE .......yes that old hobby horse of mine........:rotfl:

We were talking about dad yesterday. MY sons carried the coffin and
DS1 mentioned that it was "bloody heavy":rotfl:

My dad was not fat, far from it he was always lean and muscular, and did in fact suffer weight loss at the end. I mentioned that despite being 90 he had not shrunk with age. He was still 6 ft. My son said that was because he had such good posture......I guess due to his army years.

Right to the end he still stood tall and straight.

So ladies......if you want to avoid shrinking with age, rounded shoulders and the dreaded "dowager's hump" remember to think about your posture.

A couple of little exercises for you.

1. Next time you stand waiting in a queue take a good look around you and notice how people stand and move. I can guarantee most are really badly slumped, round shouldered, bellies sticking out, shoulders hunched.

2. Try this. Walk down the steet as normal. Notice how people react and respond to you. Now straighten up. Shoulders down and back, tuck that tummy in, lengthen your neck and head up. Now observe how people respond to you. You should notice quite a difference.

Slouching along makes you invisible. Standing straight and tall makes you look more "commanding" and gets you noticed and treated with more respect.

Remember the models and actors mantra.......

"t*ts and teeth Dahhlings":rotfl:

So smile and stand straight.

Good posture is good for your health, it strengthens your spine, reduces neck and shoulder tension, helps you digest your food more easily, and makes your bones and muscles stronger.

It also makes you look slimmer.

Good posture can take half a stone off you.:D

And it's free!!!

Pleased to hear your Dad's funeral went so well LL sounds like you did him proud.

You have hit the nail on the head for me with your post about posture. I am aware that mine is terrible - I slouch without realising it and then catch sight of myself in a mirror or window reflection and realise how bad it makes me look. I am quite slim (size 8-10) but when my shoulders are rounded and my tummy sticks out I don't feel it. Does anyone have and particular exercises they can recommend to improve your posture?

At home today catching up with some housework but will try and fit in a manicure this evening.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone

lessonlearned

Sukeyboo. There is something called the Alexander Technique. You can go to classes but you can also find you tube videos.

Basically you pretend you are a marionette and that you have a string through the top of your head pulling you up.....obviously it's more than that but it's all about making sure the body is aligned. It helps enormously to keep your posture right and to ease back pain.

Do you sit at a desk a lot........is everything at the right height for you. Have a good google ......I know I always advise people to do this but seriously you can find out anything you need to know just by clicking through a few websites and watching a few you tube videos.

Yoga and Pilates also help posture.

But you can't beat a full length mirror for practising. Just stand straight, shoulders back and DOWN ....no hunching round your ears. Stand sideways and Tuck your tail end And your tummy in. Face the front again. Head up and lengthen your neck and you are good to go.

Practice whenever you remember.

And just be vigilant.

Try the supermarket queue test ........practice standing tall every time You find yourself standing waiting in a queue. Eventually it will become second nature. Just glance around at everyone else slouching and it will remind you.

And repeat the models mantra (to yourself). Often.

"T*ts and teeth" :rotfl:

It will make you smile and remind you to straighten up.

Well had a full 7 hours sleep......wahoo. Feel great.

Tomorrow I will tell you about my plan.....

"One Year to Change My Life"

sukeyboo

Thanks so much for the advice LL :T

I do sit at a desk for the best part of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and I try to remember to 'sit up straight' as my Mum used to say but I do catch myself slouching when I have been concentrating on a particular task

I will have a look round on you tube for some videos and practice some good posture exercises as I am aware it will start to cause me problems later in life.

Can't wait to hear your plan to 'change your life' :j

Pinkpetal

I can sadly relate to the posts about our parents, my Father was a violent man and very abusive especially verbally he made me feel worthless my Mother never stepped in her only input would be to say to me "go and swill your face, you'll feel better. He died a 6 years ago and she became very needy but didn't need me if my sibling was around, I had a nasty row with her and haven't spoken to her for 18 months.

greenbee wrote: »

Feel free to visit anytime...

give yourself a deadline on the gym. If you're not going to use it there may be a better way of spending your money. How about joining a book group? Or a local history group? Or finding some lectures or talks to go to? Maybe finding some walks around historic sights would be more motivating than going to the gym.

Thank you, I'm looking into history groups but haven't as yet found one. I have decided as of next week to go twice per week, if I don't do this I will cancel it.

Rubyslippers77 wrote: »

Hello pinkpetal and welcome! In addition to greenbee's suggestions, have you thought about a college course (evening or weekend as I'm assuming you work during the day) or checking out meetup.com for any local groups you're interested in? I agree that you'll probably find something more fun/ motivating to do than gym going!

Thank you , I joined meetup.com and could not believe the amount of members in my area who have a near zero social life like me. There is a planned meet up in a pub 1 mile from my house would you believe on the 11th Feb, can you come with me and hold my hand please lol, I would love to go but know I won't have the courage. But at least I've joined which is a huge step in itself for me.

indiepanda wrote: »

Welcome pink petal. I wish I loved cleaning - would save me money and it's good exercise too. But I would live in a bit of a hovel if I left it to myself. The last time I didn't have a cleaner I managed to go two months without vacuuming, and I've been known to leave ironing for a month too. (I have someone do that for me too).

Thank you for your suggestions about the National Trust, I could not commit to volunteering at present.
I've always enjoyed cleaning but ironing oh no I detest it but do half an hour every second day to keep on top of it and then only the essentials.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Good morning lovely ladies.

Welcome to Pinkpetal.

Thank you for the welcome and your mantra of "t*ts and teeth Dahhlings" it does make me laugh.

Floss

Pinkpetal we will all hold your hand when you're ready to go to a meet-up

chanie

I had a fab Friday. I don't work Fridays, but had to go in for a meeting and as Mr C wasn't working, we agreed to go for lunch afterwards, so I wore my denim t shirt dress, thick woolly tights and Ugg boots. A few colleagues said I looked nice. I'm now eyeing up a similar dress in black denim. I also bought DD a denim dress, so we can be twins!!!

maddiemay

Pinkpetal, the majority of those people (if not all) who attend the meet up will feel nervous too, so wear something that you are comfortable and feel good in. Smile, stick those t*ts out and walk tall in through that door, believe me, the more times you push yourself to do this the easier it will become. What is that other saying - fake it until you make it. Good luck:D

Self confidence is not a gift given to many of us, but we can do these things. A book that helped me years ago was "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers (available from *-bay for less than £3 inc postage)

Pinkpetal

Floss wrote: »

Pinkpetal we will all hold your hand when you're ready to go to a meet-up

Thanks Floss x

Pinkpetal

maddiemay wrote: »

Pinkpetal, the majority of those people (if not all) who attend the meet up will feel nervous too, so wear something that you are comfortable and feel good in. Smile, stick those t*ts out and walk tall in through that door, believe me, the more times you push yourself to do this the easier it will become. What is that other saying - fake it until you make it. Good luck:D

Self confidence is not a gift given to many of us, but we can do these things. A book that helped me years ago was "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers (available from *-bay for less than £3 inc postage)

I really would like to do this. I get on with everyone I meet and people say I have a great sense of humor but I feel very shy and tongue tied it has held me back for years its so frustrating. I need some little challenges first I think. Im on my laptop now so I going to look for the book, thanks x found it second hand with free p&p £2.36

lessonlearned

Pink petal.........I was very shy, exacerbated by a stutter. (Thanks dad, you made me so nervous I couldn't even talk)

But.....with patience and a great English teacher I finally overcame my stutter.

I was still shy though and that birthmark really zapped my confidence but like you I seemed to find humour in most situations and I learned that self deprecating jokes pre-empted any comments about my face.

But still I struggled in social situations until I started working in sales - have you ever tried cold calling or door knocking trying to flog life insurance. :rotfl:

I went on a fabulous two week training course which turned my life round and which can basically be summed up as "learn to listen".

As our trainer pointed out........The good lord gave us two ears and one mouth. I think he was trying to tell us something don't you.

Let me let you into a little secret.........it was taught me by the senior trainer on that sales course.

The simple truth of the matter is that everyone likes to talk about themselves, so in order to be a social success you learn to be a good listener. You just let the other person do all the talking and they will think you the most interesting and fascinating person on the planet.

Have you ever watched a really good tv interviewer. The best by far was Alan Whicker - he was the ninja of all interviewers. Michael Parkinson was good in his heyday and Terry Wogan was excellent.

These guys made it look so easy but they were experts. See if you can watch some of their videos and pick up some tips. Watch their body language and gestures but more importantly watch how they listen and what kind of questions they ask.

DONT MODEL YOURSELF ON JEREMY PAXMAN. They don't call him the Rottweiler for nothing. :rotfl: He is a political heavyweight and can be a bit of verbal thug.

Do you understand the difference between an open and a closed question. (That was a closed question). It simply requires a one word answer......yes or no.

An open question will elicit an answer that requires some form of explanation, a closed question requires a simple yes/no answer.

An open question will begin with one of the following

How, when, what, which, where, why.....be very careful when using why - it can come over as being rude or nosy but the others will help the other person to give you a good open ended answer which, if you listen carefully, will give you a further opening to expand the conversation.

A couple of examples.

Closed question......did you have a good journey, answer yes/no. If the other person is shy you may not get any further, and the conversation will fizzle out. Only a natural conversationalist will expand and say......yes it was great, the train was fab, great buffet car or no it was a nightmare, train was late, freezing and filthy, the buffet car was closed so nothing to eat or drink.

However, if you ask "how was your journey" then more often than not they will offer a bit information (without even thinking about it) and you can grow the conversation from there.

The only real exception I have found is when dealing with people who on the autism spectrum. Then very often you will only get one word answers.

Q. how was your journey.
A. Fine.

:rotfl:

My autistic niece does this and it can be frustrating but you just have to persevere with her until she relaxes and opens up.

A word of warning.

Use open questions at your peril..........you can end up listening to someone's life story, unable to shut them up. :rotfl:

You can find out more about a person than you really want to know - but, on the plus side.......they will think you a fantastically interesting person, simply because you let them talk about themselves.

Try it, practice open questions and learn to really listen to the answers.

You might also find it helpful to learn how to use about body language, how to use "mirroring" to build up a good rapport.

It all boils down to practice.

However I will say this.....it only works if you like the human race and are genuinely interested in other people and not just feigning interest.

Most people can spot a fake a mile off and if you are not genuinely interested you will just come over as either false or creepy.