Friend's son died, family can't afford funeral costs

Bogalot

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Has anyone ever been to a "basic council funeral"? Are they as grim as they are being made out to be?

I've been to a few cremations through work, and they differ very little from a paid service. I can't imagine that an outsider would know any different.

Murphybear

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I don't understand why funerals have to be so costly. It's not like a wedding, when everything is expected to be to be showy and extravagant.

I would be interested to know how much a "basic council funeral" differs from a funeral that people have paid several thousand pounds for.

Cars and flowers presumably, but apart from a hearse there's no need to pay for those. You can make your own order of service leaflets. From my experiences the actual ceremony is always pretty basic.

Is it the actual disposal of the body, i.e. burial or cremation, that costs a lot? Surely this would be the same for individual or for the council, except I suppose the council have an agreement with the crematorium?

Has anyone ever been to a "basic council funeral"? Are they as grim as they are being made out to be?

There was an article on our BBC local news earlier this year about the increase in so called "paupers funerals" in Cornwall. The average cost of one is £1000. Doesn't seem a lot compared with the rates quoted by commercial firms

Mojisola

Bogalot wrote: »

I've been to a few cremations through work, and they differ very little from a paid service. I can't imagine that an outsider would know any different.

That's been my experience, too.

The first one I went to, I didn't realise at the time that it had been arranged and paid for by the hospital where the death had occurred.

Bogof_Babe

I'd imagine it's similar to the difference between a "proper" multi-thousand £££s wedding and a quick register office one.

Just wondering regarding asking relatives to pay, how wide do they spread their net when looking for a willing payer? My sister-in-law has no immediate family apart from my husband, and if anything happened to him she would have no-one. We are not close, and I would feel aggrieved if I was expected to pay for her funeral when the time came.

Mojisola

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I'd imagine it's similar to the difference between a "proper" multi-thousand £££s wedding and a quick register office one.

The ones I've attended have been much the same as ones planned by families but with fewer attendees. The time slot was the same length, a vicar/priest took the service with prayers and a couple of hymns and, where something was known about the deceased, a short eulogy was given.

We are not close, and I would feel aggrieved if I was expected to pay for her funeral when the time came.

You may be 'asked' but you're not obliged to pay anything.

Weewdy

My great uncle had a LA funeral which was identical to a funeral i attended a few weeks previously. Yes there was no family cars, only hearse and a humanist minister. We actually didnt know it was a LA funeral until a few weeks later.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

Having been to half a dozen family funerals over the last few years, I don't think the money spent on any of them was wasted.

It's easy to talk about "just put me out with the rubbish" when you're fit and well but having a well-organised and respectful funeral helps those who are grieving.

"Well-organised and respectful" doesn't have to cost the earth - there's nothing more dignified than simplicity.

Mojisola

missbiggles1 wrote: »

"Well-organised and respectful" doesn't have to cost the earth - there's nothing more dignified than simplicity.

None of our funerals have cost the earth.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

None of our funerals have cost the earth.

Sorry, I wasn't implying they did.

However as with weddings, simple (and cheap) arrangements are often the most dignified and the most memorable. If people realised how inexpensive a simple funeral can be, perhaps fewer relatives would shy away from arranging them - insurance adverts on day time TV have a lot to answer for.

teddysmum

missbiggles1 wrote: »

"Well-organised and respectful" doesn't have to cost the earth - there's nothing more dignified than simplicity.

Exactly what I was thinking.


Elaborate coffins, massive portraits and extravagant floral displays, as seen in the media do not equate with respect; just show and I think tacky.


Lovely flowers, in horrid formal displays, seen for a very short time, then left to rot, while they could be giving pleasure as a bouquet for the bereaved, wood (I know most coffins are mdf) used just to be burned or buried, a man paid to pretend sorrow and walk in front of a hearse with an entourage of limousines, all seem pointless extravagance to me.


I aren't exactly young and healthy, either.