Starting to face up to it all

bathgatebuyer

EvieandPeanut wrote: »

Thanks everyone for all the advice. Just to let you know that I'm not married to "Pilot in Debt" on the forum. I have my own pilot in debt but he's only just starting to get up to speed with all this!!!! I can back up everything the PinD posts. All the pilots my husband knows are in the same boat although possibly not as deeply as we are. We've just added up all our debt and it is far higher than we thought. I think we could win "the biggest amount ever posted" award. Definitely feel sick now.

The bigger the number the more support we can give so don't worry - everyone here will do what they can to give you all the support you need.

findingmyownway

well done for getting as far as you have. good luck with sorting out the rest of the SOA.

don't be afraid to post it when its done - with a wage of £100K noone is going to expect you to be worrying about a few grands worth of debts. Its clearly going to be a big one - but remember many people on here owe £20 or 30 or 40 grand on faaaaar lower wages than you - often 4 times their salary or much much more.

If you think about it in terms of 'ratio to salary' you might feel more able to deal with things - it should take less time to pay off £100K on a £100K wage as someone with £15K debt on £15K wage.

MissKJ

Actually EvieandPeanut, I bet you can't beat mine. I have a massive debt owed to family not on my signature. I haven't admitted to it, beause I currently don't need to make payments on it at the moment, and by the time I do, I hope my cunning plans will have paid off. Otherwise I am up the creak without a paddle, and will have to rethink our whole lives. In my defence, I did borrow it for investment, which is slowly paying off, but hey, who knows. Big risk.

This is intended to make you feel better, but I suspect it won't, sorry.:o

Just follow the advice, you know it makes sense. be honest and let everyone help you.:D

In_Search_Of_Me

Aww big hug for you! I didnt like to say that the debt is always more when you work it out, usually because of the interest. Well done for sorting and now you know what you dont have you can start to sort what to do. I would suggest that you ring one of the free debt charities tomorrow. If you feel comfortable post your SOA & people can suggest where to cut down. I very much doubt that you will have the most debt but am sure it does feel like it! Just know that you are not alone and we're all sending positive vibes your way! Is OH now getting to realise the seriousness of the situation? Hang in there! The sick feeling does diminish but it does take time to feel you have control again but you WILL have this and are taking control of your money, rather than it owning & controlling you! Keep us updated & let people know if there is specific advice you need, or something that is worrying you...there are enough people that at least one will understand where you are coming from!

In_Search_Of_Me

How's the sorting going Evie?

EvieandPeanut

Hello Fishface

Well we have sat down and worked it all out and HB has contacted the CCCs to start a DMP for his debt. He sent all of the details to them online today so hopefully it won't be too long until it's all in place. In the meantime HB has talked to some of the creditors to offer a minimum payment once he gets paid next week. I have to say some are being more reasonable than others.

Any advice anyone can give on DMPs would be appreciated. We've read the DMP support thread.

Also HB has now read this thread and feels badly represented by me as it's not all his fault and he has worked very hard to get where he is - with a commercial pilot's licence, frozen airline pilot's licence and over 1200 flying hours. We just hope it's all worth it in the end.:T

I should add that in the middle of all this, 2 years ago, we did have a dream wedding and honeymoon which seemed to spiral out of control in terms of cost. :eek:

(HB added the icons!!!)

OberonSH

Dream wedding - I know what that looks like. This will be my second time round - last time was a pathetic affair (but then again so was the groom.....may his genitals shrivel to the size of peanuts just before a hot date) and we'd like something a bit bigger than a registry office thing, but the cos :eek: OMG what my dream dress costs would pay off 2 creditors!! and that's before we get onto flowers, a decent nosh up and posh undies.....

I'm sure HB is a lovely bloke, but if you're reading this, Mr Evie - you need to give this por lady a hand. It's really not a nice thing to have to go through, the whole debt thing, and it's going to be a real test. So start talking, and be strong together. You'll both be okay, the sickness is a shock, but a cup of tea and a soak in teh bath clears that right up.

I'm glad you're still pretty perky - the first few weeks are the hardest. As for your number, big debt is no different to small debt - it all has to get paid, and we're all in the same boat so no-one is going to bat an eyelid. You're amongst friends here. Both of you.

Good luck with it, don't forget the SOA, an we'll all see what we can do to help you save the spending.

Buffythedebtslayer

Hey great to see you working it all out!

its tough and very hard to break old habits ( even caught myself having sneaky day dream about having skyplus the other day and filling my shopping basket on amazon)

you won't find a more helpful place, so Good luck and post lots

xx

In_Search_Of_Me

Great that you're sorting! As for Mr Evie...come on mate did you DID watch the rugby while Mrs Evie sat & sorted didnt you eh?:rotfl: :rotfl: The main thing is youre sorting it as a couple and taking responsibility. Let us know how you get on with CCCS...hugs for you BOTH!

EvieandPeanut

Having lots of up and down moments and find myself looking in envy at other poster's smaller debt totals!! How sad is that???

HBs total came in at an impressive 87k which he can apparently pay off in 9 years at a rate of 800pounds per month (must get that pound sign fixed on key board). I don't think either of us can really believe just how bad it is and feel utterly ashamed. We have had a total lack of discipline and control in our spending and I'm scared that we will now have to live with this and the consequences for the rest of our lives.

Mr. Evie can be a lovely man when he feels like it by the way. Good luck with the wedding Oberon. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter how fancy a wedding you have as long as you are marrying the right man. Wish I'd known that 2 years ago and would have cancelled the castle venue and the designer wedding dress. Still can't bring myself to sell it on e-bay!!