Just Had A Row......

HannahandMark

Good advice from all that I can see.

My Wife and my birthdays are coming up. We have recently sorted out our debts but are still being careful. We have decided that an intimate evening with each other will be far better than expensive presents, so a nice meal and bottle of wine is on the cards.

Tustastic

Hi livingbeyond, how about telling your OH that money just isn't enough - that you'd love her to mark your milestone birthday with something that involves planning and effort - not just waving a CC around? There's loads of ideas on here for fabulous special days that cost very little but take a lot of planning and love. Only downside is that you'd have to work on something equally special for her! HTH

whitewing

Your wife is probably upset because she wants your birthday to be special and feels like you are throwing it back in her face. (I get mad with my OH when he does the same but it's only differing viewpoints).

How about having a '30' challenge. Buy an album/nice notebook or whatever. Together, make 30 'goals' for the next 10 years. Probably best to make them small and achievable (or big/whatever). Illustrate it/get creative. Maybe take photos now and leave spaces for the 'after'. See what you can make come true. This could be very cheap, but also very meaningful.

For example, I want to have (and desperately need!) singing lessons at some point in the future. It's not a priority, but it will happen at some point. It's great to just dream about stuff that is important to us. But it's also important to ensure it fits in with other goals eg saving money.

Certainly, since I've started using this site, I take a lot more pleasure out of small stuff, which becomes a treat. You still need to make occasions special - it's even more important to do that I think when money is tight or it just becomes a drudge.

Go and give her a cuddle ...

faerie_girl

We didn't do anything for my 20th. My partner did. A birthday is just a birthday to me anyway. He wanted to get me something but i told him just going for a walk or something would be nice.

MissKJ

I distinctly remember what I gave my DH for his 30th birthday. She arrived 9 months later and we still laugh about her being "the cherry on (his) cake". she is the most wonderful reminder of that birthday!!!!

fc123

write out "treats" (say 12 of them) on bits of paper (from sexual favours to washing up), wrap up in pretty paper + bows and put in a box..........she can unwrap one whenever she wants a treat!........i did this one yrs ago for OH , then we started buying things and now we are paying it all off!! He maintains it was the best present i ever gave him...he strung the treats out for weeks!!

MissKJ

Tell you what I would really like for a special birthday, a photo album with family photos in. Who ever does these any more? digital cameras and no time? All our precious memories would be lost forever if our computer got pinched or broken...Got me thinking about Christams presents. If my DH did that I would be so chuffed to bits....

virgin_moneysaver

livingbeyond wrote: »

I think I am going to let it cool down for an hour, explain my reasons why and then try and set a budget for each of us for both of our birthdays and for christmas. It will be hard as we have always gone to town on presents for each other in the past.

& is that part of the reason why you are in debt? - I budget every January for birthdays & christmas, & account for 'special' birthdays - but this year my hubby & I decided to just give each other just a card for our birthdays to help with a few expenses this year - being together counts for more than the excitement of opening the present - followed by the sick feeling opening the credit card bill

katglasgow

Can you suggest something special that doesnt cost a lot?EG. plant a tree, buy a star, name a rose?

Ches

not much point in her buying you a birthday present with the cc if you are the one who will have the worry paying the bill.