Employee Came onto me

pocket8s

ACG wrote: »

Things like this happen on work nights out. It is awkward but after a week or 2 it goes back to normal (assuming either nothing is said or an apology is made).

Chances are she woke up on Saturday morning with that horrible feeling you wake up with after a night out when you have done something stupid, I am sure we have all been there. Its not like it happens during a normal day is it?

I would be inclined to just leave it and carry on as normal. I am of the opinion if something happens under the influence of alcohol then exceptions or at least allowances should be made.

I know your right will see what she says tomorrow! Probably not the best idea telling the wife

ACG

pocket8s wrote: »

I know your right will see what she says tomorrow! Probably not the best idea telling the wife

To be fair, it covers your back doesnt it. If this woman became spiteful and it came out down the line, your mrs might not be happy that it happened but at least she cant get annoyed about you hiding it.

xapprenticex

Some of you guys are just crazy and too trigger happy.

OP went out for an after-work drink with colleagues drinking alcohol and a member of staff made a move on him, why does this have to go to HR exactly? So some of you are saying, if you make a move and are not successful then you're fair game for losing your job or having the police called on you?

Anyway OP, your post was not clear regarding who the manager is (you or her) but IMO carry on as normal, she will prob feel very stupid and at least you know she is not to be trusted as far as relationships go.

Only danger is her running to HR with a story about you, you've told your wife which is good, maybe tell your manager what happened but not in a 'making a complaint' kind of way, more in a covering your back kind of way. And try not to be alone with her.

daytona0

xapprenticex wrote: »

Some of you guys are just crazy and too trigger happy.

OP went out for an after-work drink with colleagues drinking alcohol and a member of staff made a move on him, why does this have to go to HR exactly? So some of you are saying, if you make a move and are not successful then you're fair game for losing your job or having the police called on you?

Good to see someone with a bit of common sense here!

bugslet

If otherwise she has been a good employee, I'd play it by ear this morning. She may even now be thinking, ' I hope he was drunk and doesn't remember a word I said....:eek:'.

If however, it continues, then you have a problem. people saying stupid things after a few drinks on a night out is not one of them.

Oakdene

I wonder if someone will start a thread on here today saying, 'I got drunk at my works Christmas do & told my boss I have the hots for him!!'

[Deleted User]

xapprenticex wrote: »

Some of you guys are just crazy and too trigger happy.

OP went out for an after-work drink with colleagues drinking alcohol and a member of staff made a move on him, why does this have to go to HR exactly? So some of you are saying, if you make a move and are not successful then you're fair game for losing your job or having the police called on you?

You go to HR to protect yourself from anything else that might be coming. OP did the exact right thing in terms of telling his wife right away.

Things might fade away, but what happens when he refuses her advances on the next work night out?

Bogalot

ringo_24601 wrote: »

You go to HR to protect yourself from anything else that might be coming. OP did the exact right thing in terms of telling his wife right away.

Things might fade away, but what happens when he refuses her advances on the next work night out?

Hopefully he'll learn from this that staff and alcohol do not mix.

[Deleted User]

I'd also make sure, in the OP's position that I was never alone with this woman, just in case. Could save a lot of grief later. I would also inform HR.

TBagpuss

xapprenticex wrote: »

Some of you guys are just crazy and too trigger happy.

OP went out for an after-work drink with colleagues drinking alcohol and a member of staff made a move on him, why does this have to go to HR exactly? So some of you are saying, if you make a move and are not successful then you're fair game for losing your job or having the police called on you?

Anyway OP, your post was not clear regarding who the manager is (you or her) but IMO carry on as normal, she will prob feel very stupid and at least you know she is not to be trusted as far as relationships go.

Only danger is her running to HR with a story about you, you've told your wife which is good, maybe tell your manager what happened but not in a 'making a complaint' kind of way, more in a covering your back kind of way. And try not to be alone with her.

What she did was inappropriate and unprofessional. IT may cuase difficulties in future and OP is right to be concerned.

OP, if you have a HR department/individual or if there is anyone who is senior to you thebn speak to them, let them know that you do not want to make this a dicsiplinary matter but that you think it wought to be recorded in case of any future issues, and that you think there needs to be a conversation withthe perspn concerned to let her know that this was not appropriate and that she must behave appropriately in future.

If there is no one in that role then it is a little more awkward but I think you should still deal with it - consider what you would do if it had ben reported to you -i.e. if the person approached had ben another amployee, and treat it as you would in those circumstances.

Possibly an email with the offer of a meeting if she wants it.
If so, i would say something such as:

"I am sending this as a result of your conduct on [date ] at the chrstmas meal. At the end of the evening you approached me and said

which you repeated even after I told tyou that I was happily married nad not interested. You behaviour was unprofessional and amounted to sexual harassment.

I need to make claer that this type of behaviour is not appropriate and will be dealt with as a serious disciplinary matter should it happen again. A copy of this e-mail will be placed with your personel file. No other disciplinary steps will be taken provided that there is no repeat of this, por of any similar, behaviour.

Given the cirumstances, and the embarassment I am sure you would feel, I am not proposing to met with you in person to discuss the issue but if you wish to respond or feel that a meeting is necessary please contact me and I will arrange this."

I would however second the recommendation to speak to the ACAS helpline before you send any message.

Do you have a formal discilinary structure? If so, refer to that and follow it as you would with any other 'first offence' where you wanted to give a verbal warning.

Alternatively, you could simply speak to her and say "I am going to assume that you had too much to drink and said something you didn't intend to. I have made a note of what happened and will maake a note of this meconversation, and both will be on your personel file, but Iam not going to treat it as a firmal discplinary matter. Pleae be aware, however, that if you repeat that kind of bahviour I will consider it as sexual harassment and will have to treat it as a disciplinary matter"


Don't raise the other matters at the same tim, deal with those separately as you normally would.

and if you don't already have a formal disciplinary policy, and formal anti-harassment / bullying policy, consider getting one sorted and included in your employee handbook.