Can i ever be debt free?

deeneyweeney

Hi
I am new to the forum, apprehensive to be here but most importantly I am a compulsive spender.
I would really appreciate some advice as to how to move forward and maybe, just maybe become debt free.
If its OK with you I would like to give you a brief overview of me, my circumstances and what I hope to achieve.
I am 49, married with 4 kids and live in a rented 4 bedroom house, and have done so for 17 years (yes 17 years).
I have 17 creditors of which i owe £14,000 to, all of these are old debts(3 years+) and are being paid by by payment plans, most of which have been agreed at £1 or £2 per month. Most of these will come off my credit file in 3 years.
Where I have a problem is that I just cannot stop spending, its always been the same and can be low level, a few pounds in the pound shop or a few hundred by way of a new mobile phone contract or money spent on a catalogue (money i don't see as real).
To be honest I am so unhappy and have tried to sort it out but it never seems to pan out for me because my state of mind changes and I dont see the plan through.
I have spoken to a debt charity and based on the information I gave them they believe I should do a DRO. I am reluctant to enter into the DRO , mainly because the debt is so old and due off in three years, the DRO of course will stay on my file for 6 years from now.
I was wondering if anyone on here has been in a similar situation and has come through the other side?

sourcrates

Hi,

Welcome to the MSE forums.

A good first step is to do a statement of affairs (SOA) :

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

People can then suggest ways to deal with your spending, and your debt.
Be honest with your budget, a DRO is an excellent choice, if you meet all the criteria, let's find out shall we ?

WantToBeSE

Deeney, do you have credit cards etc? Is that what you spend on? If so, you need to cut them up so you cant use them.

Maybe allow yourself a small amount of 'spending money' every month while paying off debt? I am paying off debt, and i owe £8000. I always allow myself £50 a month to spend on whatever i want, guilt free. But when that money is spent, that's it, no more.

Would your Wife/Husband be able to take the reigns with money and give you an 'allowance' every month, and deal with the finances themselves, so that you only get to have that cash (until you have learnt to get a grip on your spending)?

Yes, it's totally possible for you to become DF, you just have to work at finding out WHY you overspend, and stop it.

deeneyweeney

Hi
I have got 2 credit cards, one with £200 limit and one with £750 limit, both are up to their limit. I have three catalogues, one with £1000 limit one with £400 and the last one with £100.
These are 75% used.
If i am honest one of my worse wastes of money is food, I buy my lunch out daily and spend between £7-£10 a day...madness I agree.
My inclination is to do a DRO and go back to basics but I just dont want to be judged or watched if that makes sense?

Jo3y83

You will save a lot of money but making your own lunch rather than purchasing. Have a look at your last bank statement and add up how much is being spent on food, you'll probably be very shocked. I've saved loads by not buying lunch at work; you can buy some ham and a loaf of bread for the same price as one sandwich!

sourcrates

DRO`s exist for a very good reason, not everyone meets all of the criteria, but if you do, then its a very good choice for dealing with your debts.

Who`s going to watch or judge you ?

Once your DRO is submitted by your intermediary, its usually dealt with within 48 hours of been received by the insolvency service, if your intermediary has done there job correctly, then it will be approved, and up and running within 24 hours, it happens very fast once its ok`d.

Thats it, once approved, you wont hear from the IS again, and you wont need to contact them, unless you come into a sum of money which would mean you no longer qualified for a DRO.

After 12 months your debt would be wiped out, and that would be that.

Its a very straightforward easy solution, no one will be judging you or watching you.

deeneyweeney

sourcrates wrote: »

DRO`s exist for a very good reason, not everyone meets all of the criteria, but if you do, then its a very good choice for dealing with your debts.

Who`s going to watch or judge you ?

Once your DRO is submitted by your intermediary, its usually dealt with within 48 hours of been received by the insolvency service, if your intermediary has done there job correctly, then it will be approved, and up and running within 24 hours, it happens very fast once its ok`d.

Thats it, once approved, you wont hear from the IS again, and you wont need to contact them, unless you come into a sum of money which would mean you no longer qualified for a DRO.

After 12 months your debt would be wiped out, and that would be that.

Its a very straightforward easy solution, no one will be judging you or watching you.

Thanks for your reply, that maybe the solution.

Do the IS take a dim view if you have been bankrupt before? Unfortunately i have been bankrupt twice, the last being in 2002.

sourcrates

deeneyweeney wrote: »

Thanks for your reply, that maybe the solution.

Do the IS take a dim view if you have been bankrupt before? Unfortunately i have been bankrupt twice, the last being in 2002.

Well it is taken into account, you are asked the reason why you are in debt again.

I suppose its down to what is an acceptable reason and what isnt.

EssexHebridean

Your absolute priority HAS to be to stop the cycle that's bringing you into this cycle time and time again. You know where the issues lie, you now need to tackle them.

Can you start with the food and drink thing? To put things into perspective - your spend on each workday is currently costing you in excess of £1,600 a year. A sum of money that would clear your catalogue debt, or wipe your credit cards, or indeed a bit of each.

Do you have access to cooking facilities at work? If there is a microwave for example, you could switch to a can of soup and a bread roll for lunch, at an approximate cost of £3 a week (Buy the rolls in a pack of 6, and freeze the balance and take out on a daily basis). Annual spend - £141 - saving yourself a huge sum. An even cheaper alternative would be a jacket potato, baked beans, and a sprinkle of grated cheese.

I strongly suggest that you cut the credit cards up right now - you need to remove any temptation to rely on credit, and start dealing in "real money" IMO.

I'll also suggest a spending diary. For the next week, write down everything you spend. And I mean EVERYTHING. At the end of the week, grab some highlighter pens and mark everything "essential" (Needed it, genuinely couldn't cope without it - so family food spends, essential travel, that sort of thing) in green. And then write all the impulse spend stuff in red/pink. Once you've done that, add up the total cost of all the frivolous stuff, and multiply by 52. That's a rough estimate of the money you're "frittering" in the course of a year. Now think what that sum of money would pay. Presents for your kids for birthdays and Christmas? The gas bill? The rent, perhaps? Try to put that spend into a form where it becomes "real money" as that may help make it more accountable.

Sourcrates is spot on with the SOA suggestion too - if you post that we can lend a hand with seeing where you can make savings.

Above all - think of the sort of example you want to be setting to your kids - I'm guessing it would break your heart to think that in a few years time, they might be writing what you have, above, on a debt forum somewhere? It's your job to do as much as you can to ensure that doesn't happen.

deeneyweeney

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Your absolute priority HAS to be to stop the cycle that's bringing you into this cycle time and time again. You know where the issues lie, you now need to tackle them.

Can you start with the food and drink thing? To put things into perspective - your spend on each workday is currently costing you in excess of £1,600 a year. A sum of money that would clear your catalogue debt, or wipe your credit cards, or indeed a bit of each.

Do you have access to cooking facilities at work? If there is a microwave for example, you could switch to a can of soup and a bread roll for lunch, at an approximate cost of £3 a week (Buy the rolls in a pack of 6, and freeze the balance and take out on a daily basis). Annual spend - £141 - saving yourself a huge sum. An even cheaper alternative would be a jacket potato, baked beans, and a sprinkle of grated cheese.

I strongly suggest that you cut the credit cards up right now - you need to remove any temptation to rely on credit, and start dealing in "real money" IMO.

I'll also suggest a spending diary. For the next week, write down everything you spend. And I mean EVERYTHING. At the end of the week, grab some highlighter pens and mark everything "essential" (Needed it, genuinely couldn't cope without it - so family food spends, essential travel, that sort of thing) in green. And then write all the impulse spend stuff in red/pink. Once you've done that, add up the total cost of all the frivolous stuff, and multiply by 52. That's a rough estimate of the money you're "frittering" in the course of a year. Now think what that sum of money would pay. Presents for your kids for birthdays and Christmas? The gas bill? The rent, perhaps? Try to put that spend into a form where it becomes "real money" as that may help make it more accountable.

Sourcrates is spot on with the SOA suggestion too - if you post that we can lend a hand with seeing where you can make savings.

Above all - think of the sort of example you want to be setting to your kids - I'm guessing it would break your heart to think that in a few years time, they might be writing what you have, above, on a debt forum somewhere? It's your job to do as much as you can to ensure that doesn't happen.

You are spot on. I think that's what I needed to hear!

tori.k

Why are you trying to fill a void with shopping, you need to be honest about why you are so unhappy with life, maybe consider some counselling as it also sounds that you are ready to tackle this as you readily identify that your shopping habits are compulsive and random and need to change. wishing you the best of luck.