Paying Parents Mortgage - Struggling to get new home with partner

moneyistooshorttomention

The only countervailing factor to "local minimum wage job" being that it would be an "NMW job" and not a higher-level job. That could bring in things like antisocial hours/job insecurity/etc and future possible employers thinking GF was only capable of unskilled work and refusing to consider her for better jobs.

She could find herself sidetracked from, say, a professional job to an NMW job from there on in.

AdrianC

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Never mind just the petrol costs. What about all the other costs of running a car - eg servicing, oil, etc, etc? Not forgetting the cost of having the car in the first place (ie the cost of a new one every so often).

Running a car is dear. Hence my own very first thought about cars years back is "Can't afford one. End of thinking about that then....".

That's why I gave a figure of about 25p/mile.
45mpg is about 11.5p in fuel.

Mrs_pbradley936

Being realistic now rather than idealistic, what would happen if you dropped dead? Who would sort out your parents finances then? You have to get over the sense you have of abandoning them - you have helped them for far too long. It is not your problem how they manage in future it is your problem how YOU manage in future.

getmore4less

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

The only countervailing factor to "local minimum wage job" being that it would be an "NMW job" and not a higher-level job. That could bring in things like antisocial hours/job insecurity/etc and future possible employers thinking GF was only capable of unskilled work and refusing to consider her for better jobs.

She could find herself sidetracked from, say, a professional job to an NMW job from there on in.

The current job is only a bit above min wage anyway, if this is an entry level career job then it is just a waiting game before the dosh starts rolling in to buy that house.

I suspect there are plenty of career opportunities that pay a lot more with similar commute(time and cost) within striking distance of MK.



Also if this job is to lead to something better then they should wait before buying as all that does is restrict future options.

Jobs first then where to live.

moneyistooshorttomention

I guess people will vary on which comes first - be it jobs or where to live.

Personally - I decide where to live and then expect a job to be near to that. Careers (as opposed to jobs) are a bit of a different kettle of fish - but I'd still be inclined personally to put where to live first and then think about that.

Each to their own on that one...but I would have thought there would be a career type job nearer than GF's present one she could swop to.

Pa_Ja

I really feel for you. You sound like a decent guy.
You came on here looking for a suitable workaround that suits all parties but unfortunately, you're going to have to stop being passive and address the issue. It can't be dodged any longer. If it does, your mother will be retired on a reduced income and it will be left to you (And potential partner) and your siblings to subsidize your parents.
It doesn't sound like your mother can buy you out therefore the best solution is to sell, decide how you wish to split the equity and go your own ways.
I would imagine there would be enough from the sale for your parents to sort out rental accommodation. Ideally they'd get a council house however I doubt they'll top the housing list unless they declare themselves homeless which they could only do after the sale.

Think, if you were to have children, your wife is not working, in no way would it be reasonable for you to pay in excess of £7k a year towards that home.

LannieDuck

The gf's job could be a PhD studentship, which would pay about £15-20k per year. It could also be a job that has funded a programme of study and if she doesn't stay for a certain length of time after she'll have to pay back the tuition costs.

TBagpuss

OP, like others, I'm not clear why your parents are not at the very least contributing to the mortgage.

I don't think you are going to find a way for you to carry on subsidising them AND to buy a house for yourself, so I think you will need to think about how to deal with that. The obvious solution would be to sell the house (giving your parents first refusal, if they can obtain a mortgage to buy you out)

You'd then have to decide how to split the equity. Did you have a declaration of trust drawn up when the house was bought? If not, the presumption is likely to be that you and your mum own 50% each, although you might have an argument for saying there was an expectation you would be entitled to more on the basis that you have been paying the mortgage single-handed even though you were not living in the property.

So, I think you said the house is worth £180K and the mortgage is £128K? if so, the net equity, after sale costs, is likely to be somewhere in the region of £45K. So if that was split equally, you would have £22.5K towards your deposit, and your mother would have the same amount which would allow her to put down a deposit if she and your father want to apply for a mortgage themselves, or failing that, would allow her to pay the deposit and rent for a rented three bed, and cover the rent for (depending on costs) about 2 years, which would allow her and your father time to plan ahead, about how they will cover their housing costs in the future.

If they are earning, they should be able to afford their own rent, if they are not, or are not working full time, then once they have used those savings, they should be able to apply for appropriate benefits. and if the reason they needed your help was down to debt, then they should be able to use their share of the proceeds to pay off (or reduce) the debt.

They are unlikely to be high on the list for council housing but might be able to look for a shared ownership property, which would allow them to invest their share of the proceeds of sale in a new property, with a smaller mortgage. Depending on their financial circumstances they might (either then, or later) qualify for tax credits or housing benefit to assist with the rent element.

Your parents are likely to be upset when you broach the subject - at present, they have secure, free housing and they may well try to guilt-trip you.

But don't let yourself be mislead into thinking you are being unreasonable. Many people, including many with children, live in rented accommodation, it is not the end of the world.

It might be reasonable to go to your parents, explain that you want to have your name off the mortgage, and your equity out of the house, and make the discussion about the timing of how this will happen, not about whether it will. You could perhaps offer them a fixed time period to make enquiries - perhaps propose that (unless they are in a position to buy you out) that the house goes on the market in the summer.

Would it be practical for you to buy them out, and for you and your partner to move into the house? It would have the advantage that you and they could agree the timing of the move, perhaps to take place in the school summer holidays, and avoid estate agent fees, but obviously only works if you would like to live there.