Paying Parents Mortgage - Struggling to get new home with partner

getmore4less

steampowered wrote: »

It sounds like you are paying rent on your own property as well as on your parents, reasonably near to London, as well as paying 40% tax on much of your income. After all that you won't be rolling in cash!

joint income of £73k 40% tax on £12k but that pays 10% less NI so only 10% more than normal tax.

probably some pension contributions bring that down.

max extra tax is £100pm on the £1kpm gross.

getmore4less

GF would be better of picking up cheap overnights or a Mon-Thur lodge rather than commuting daily.

Plenty of rooms under £30pn in the area

moneyistooshorttomention

getmore4less wrote: »

GF would be better of picking up cheap overnights or a Mon-Thur lodge rather than commuting daily.

Plenty of rooms under £30pn in the area

Not a driver myself - but I expect the figures pan out for this suggestion.

I must confess my first reaction to GF's commute was "HOW long?!!!" As a previous poster pointed out - it must be one heck of a nice job to be worth all that expense and hassle to do it (or it could be one heck of a nice set of future prospects for doing it). It just doesn't seem to make logical sense and I can't think that it's sustainable long-term to do all that commuting.

On the face of it - it looks at least as good a financial bet for GF to marry OP (in order to be secure enough to do this) and then become a "1950s style housewife" (ie all that shopping around/cooking from scratch/etc to save money).

warby68

Without understanding why your parents depend on you, it is difficult to see it as anything but unfair on you.

Your girlfriend is also another dependent by the look of it.

Presumably this is why you are looking for schemes to help you as your decent income has too many prior calls on it.

As others have said, unfortunately you probably need to fix those calls and then proceed on your own 2 feet (or ideally 4 feet if girlfriend's situation is changeable)

It is your parents who should be looking for government assistance if they genuinely cannot support their own family rather than you who is perfectly capable of doing so.

My suggestion is to sell their house and ( if you feel generous enough) split the equity equally with your mum. You get a deposit and potential to only own one property and they get a good chunk of money as either their own deposit or to start renting with plenty of breathing space to either fix their own income level or look into state benefits for when the equity runs out.

AdrianC

warby68 wrote: »

My suggestion is to sell their house and ( if you feel generous enough) split the equity equally with your mum.

The mother is a joint owner, remember?

xylophone

The mother is a joint owner, remember?

Indeed she is, although one wonders what contribution she or the OP's father has ever made, either to the deposit originally or to the mortgage payments since.

The OP says he is aged nearly thirty and that he has been paying the whole of the mortgage for the last eight years.

This would seem to indicate that he agreed to purchase the property with his mother virtually as soon as he left university or had been long enough in employment to be considered for a mortgage.

Perhaps he was living with his parents at the time and saw the joint mortgage as a way of paying his share of expenses but even if so, I cannot imagine why there was no discussion at the time as to what would happen if he wanted to move on.

I would imagine that unless his mother agrees to sell, he'd be facing getting a court order - how this would pan out I don't know.

I suppose it is possible that if he can prove that he has financed the purchase from the beginning, the court might grant the order.

On the other hand, if the siblings are under 18, might the court order a delay of sale?

He'll need to discuss the matter with the parents - he could offer them enough to pay the deposit and a year's rental on another place, or even make them a gift of the equity to enable them to put down a deposit on a two bedroom flat if they can get a mortgage.

At all events, it is wholly unreasonable of his parents to expect their child to pay to finance their living expenses and those of his siblings.

Soundgirlrocks

marksoton wrote: »

This whole things insane.

An MK to Nottingham commute daily?! I did Southampton to London for 8 years, that was bad enough... And paid for by my company.

You really need to get a grip on this situation. It's untenable.

Whilst the petrol costs does make this a expensive commute it is only 1h 30min, it takes longer to drive from London to Southampton. I work in London and it can take me an hour to do the 7 miles to work (either on public transport or by car) My stepfather commutes daily from Newark to Peterborough. I think a lot of people accept long commutes as the norm. We don't know what career progression for the OP's other half it may be in a few years the salary will be worth the cost of the commute.

AdrianC

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

Whilst the petrol costs does make this a expensive commute it is only 1h 30min

MK to Nottingham, arriving at rush hour? Optimistic for 80 miles each way, even if the bulk of the distance is motorway.

moneyistooshorttomention

AdrianC wrote: »

MK to Nottingham, arriving at rush hour? Optimistic for 80 miles each way, even if the bulk of the distance is motorway.

Never mind just the petrol costs. What about all the other costs of running a car - eg servicing, oil, etc, etc? Not forgetting the cost of having the car in the first place (ie the cost of a new one every so often).

Running a car is dear. Hence my own very first thought about cars years back is "Can't afford one. End of thinking about that then....".

getmore4less

the car is the killer for the salary take home around £15k.

80 miles each way 232 days a year 37120.

that will be close to £4k in fuel alone

The OP says the car needs a lot of work,
a decent one would be 3 service every 2 years, 1 sets of tyres and a set of brakes + sundries and recovery cover.

need to budget say £1kpy

depreciation could be low running a banger(higher maintenance) or say £3k running a modern £10k+ car but driving steady that would reduce the fuel costs as should get 60+mpg on motorway runs like this.

They would be better of in a local min wage job.