Possible misuse of Power of Attorney

NickShadow

Hello, I am new to this website but I'm hoping to find some advice - I am concerned about an elderly relative - her son who still lives at home has Power of Attorney over her financial affairs. She is housebound but still has mental capacity. The son has not worked for a number of years and I believe he is in receipt of ESA. From what my relative has divulged to me, her son sorts out their finances (most of which are his debts) and she is left with nothing in her purse at all - all of her pension goes to him, to spend as he chooses. I'm sure he buys food but she is in dire need of new clothing as she's lost so much weight. She's unable to get to the shops and says there's no money anyway, and refuses my offers to help. I am considering contacting the Office of the Public Guardian, although from what I've read they can't do anything without any evidence, which I don't have. In the meantime, I am not sure whether ESA is means tested or not - I suspect the DWP is unaware that he has activated the POA and is in effect using his mother's income in addition to his own.

Does anyone have any advice or should I keep out of the situation? I feel that I should be alerting someone, only because I have my relative's best interests at heart, not because I want to take over as attorney or anything like that. I also thought about Social Services but I know she would be resistant to them getting involved.

Annisele

I'm sorry; that's a horrible situation. But if your relative still does have mental capacity, I'm not sure the OPG can do much about it. If somebody with mental capacity chooses to give money to their son, or to make any other unwise choice, they're entitled to do that - and then they have to live with the consequences.

How do you know the money goes to the son's debts? Did she tell you herself, or did you find out some other way? If there's any possiblity she doesn't know what her son is using the money for, then telling her might help.

Do you think she'd be willing to let you help them budget? If you could go through their finances, possibly with the carrot of helping them make sure they're claiming all the benefits they're entitled to (which they might not be), you might be able to show that actually there is enough money for new clothes.

molerat

https://elderabuse.org.uk/

Grumpysally

Does your relative still have mental capacity? If so the POA should not have been activated. In which case the Public Guardian Office wont be able to help.
The son might be getting her to sign cheques, be using her PIN etc. I would contact your local council's Safeguarding department and express your concerns if you think she is suffering neglect (which includes financial abuse). I would try and have some concrete evidence eg unexplained weight loss, bills not being paid and try to avoid pointing the finger at her son. He may claim that you have a grievance against him.
I would recommend you have a look online, Search vulnerable adults beforehand, it may help you give the right information to the right person. (
From personal experience I warn you to tread carefully, your relative may be telling you one thing, but faced with officials she may fiercely protect her son. Try and keep out of family politics as that may be held against you and you end up being seen as the interfering relative.
I'm not trying to put you off seeking help and advice, just make you aware that the situation may not be sorted out in a way you feel it ought.
Good luck
Hope the link below works
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/Pages/vulnerable-people-abuse-safeguarding.aspx

NickShadow

Thanks for your reply. The situation is really very complex so I'm trying to avoid too much detail. She told me he still has debts and I know they remortgaged the property to pay off his debts years ago so it's been going on all his adult life. I don't talk to him at all - there is some family friction/ jealousy for years, so they won't let me help even though they know I am very good at budgeting. I can see on Facebook that he's been buying things for himself, which he wouldn't be able to just on his benefits. I agree the OPG probably won't do much about it.

NickShadow

Thank you - I will take a look at this website

NickShadow

Thank you Alison - I do totally agree with you and I think I'm already being seen as the interfering relative! She would indeed protect her son til the cows come home, even though he has been sponging off his parents all of his adult life. I will take a look at the link you posted, and consider contacting the council's safeguarding team.

Grumpysally

The thing is, if she has always supported him, no matter how unfair or unreasonable it seems to other people, it will quite likely be allowed to continue even if she should loose capacity, as these would be her wishes. Galling I know.
However I would still contact social services if you feel her care is being neglected etc. It might be that they can put some package of care in place. Even if it's just someone going in once a day to make sure she has a meal. They might pick up on any neglect, for instance not enough food in the house for them to prepare a decent meal.
It might be that the son has never learned to budget etc and needs help himself from outside. (I don't expect you to comment on that part as I appreciate the risk of identifying people)
Once again good luck

troubleinparadise

It may also be that your elderly relative is relying on her son's presence in the house and caregiving to ensure that she doesn't have to have visiting carers, or go into residential care.

She may well view whatever it costs is worthwhile to keep her living in her home as she wishes.

These things can be more complex than a third party realises, however well meaning.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Why not offer to take her shopping and buy her some new clothes as a Christmas treat? That doesn't solve any complicated underlying issues, but you can be assured she's comfortable and you both might enjoy the day out.

getmore4less

if an LPA

LPA can be registered and used with permission of the doner even if they still have capacity(there are rules on how this should be used when there is capacity)


IF the woman is not happy with the situation, the simple solution for her is to revoke the LPA and appoint someone else she trusts.