Are London women confused when it comes to relationship and dating?

LiveOnce

I am finding that people in London are quite confused about relationships and dating.

I mainly date using online apps and seems like everyone is too focused on keeping up appearances in London and impressing each other.

Little focus goes into building a relationship, if the person is not 100% perfect or if there is a minor resolvable issue then all goes down because they are not willing to work through it.

Having travelled quite a bit I find this to be a common pattern in large cities, but when I go to smaller towns and cities it's much more true 'relationship' definition oriented. The girls are much more understanding on what it takes to make a relationship work and there are less distractions.

Thoughts?

Person_one

Yes, any girls that don't seem to fall at your feet are confused, stupid, stuck up, ugly anyway or lesbians.

Hermia

I have lived in a variety of places and haven't noticed any big differences.

Doesn't it rather depend on what area of London you are in? Once you get out of zone 1 you find that the different areas are like small towns in a way and have a much more local feel. If you are just hanging around in wine bars in the parts of London that are full of very ambitious types you are probably not getting a true picture. I don't notice any lack of weddings and families in London so people clearly are getting together!

tesuhoha

My daughter in London says exactly the same about London men. She says they are all fickle and unless the woman is a supermodel lookalike with a top job then they don't want to know.

boliston

I would have thought this was fairly obvious as in a large city people are going to have a much larger pool of potential partners than if they live in some rural town out in the shires so can be more fussy.

Not rocket science.

Gloomendoom

boliston wrote: »

I would have thought this was fairly obvious as in a large city people are going to have a much larger pool of potential partners than if they live in some rural town out in the shires so can be more fussy.

Not rocket science.

So they aren't all gay lesbians then?

BrassicWoman

LiveOnce wrote: »

The girls are much more understanding on what it takes to make a relationship work and there are less distractions.

Thoughts?

Try dating women not girls?

Proxima_Centauri

Have you been watching First Dates? :rotfl:

duchy

I've seen this mindset in both sexes in London in the trendy venues. Anywhere mentioned currently in gossip mags as hot or the place to seen or celebrity hangouts. Everywhere else like normal clubs, pubs, bars etc it is like everywhere else.

Manchester has exactly the same division too. It's a big city thing .

Gavin83

tesuhoha wrote: »

My daughter in London says exactly the same about London men. She says they are all fickle and unless the woman is a supermodel lookalike with a top job then they don't want to know.

I find the people who say this are those with high standards but with average looks themselves. There are likely interested people who probably say a similar thing about them.

indiepanda

LiveOnce wrote: »

I am finding that people in London are quite confused about relationships and dating.

I mainly date using online apps and seems like everyone is too focused on keeping up appearances in London and impressing each other.

Little focus goes into building a relationship, if the person is not 100% perfect or if there is a minor resolvable issue then all goes down because they are not willing to work through it.

Having travelled quite a bit I find this to be a common pattern in large cities, but when I go to smaller towns and cities it's much more true 'relationship' definition oriented. The girls are much more understanding on what it takes to make a relationship work and there are less distractions.

Thoughts?

I think this is overstating something that has a kernel of truth in it. People do tend to settle down a bit later in big cities, but I don't think it's because they are busy keeping up appearances or expect 100% perfection.

I think it is true to say more choice = less pressure to settle for anyone half decent that shows an interest. Fair to say there are more distractions in London - there's plenty to do and a lot of people have pretty demanding careers. I had a pretty quiet life before I moved to London and now I am busy enough I would have to work to make space in my diary if I met Mr Right. I would be willing to do it, but I have to admit I am quite tired of giving up my interests to fit in with a man's and now I'd be more inclined to try to meet someone who shares them so neither of us need to compromise so much (so far I always seem to do the compromising!)

I think one issue is a higher percentage of female graduates choose not to have children than non-graduates, and there are more graduates in the cities. So there isn't the same drive to settle down before it's too late to have children. I've seen friends who wanted children put up with things from their partner there is no way I would have tolerated - but I didn't need to as I didn't want to have children.