Money Moral Dilemma: Should I say it's your turn to pay for Christmas dinner?

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  • ellymoo
    ellymoo Posts: 126 Forumite
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    ''It's lovely that you're doing Xmas this year,sis. What a great idea to get everyone to help out. Even better idea, to save you the trouble of doing all the cooking what would you like me to bring ? Shall I do the Xmas pud and brandy butter?
    And then next year, when it's my turn again, perhaps you can bring that fabulous meringue dessert you make and the mince pies. I'm hopeless with mince pies as you know.''

    Are you getting the idea ? Agree, suggest, plan, but never lose sight that it's 'goodwill to all (wo)men', even irritating sisters!!



    This is a really lovely idea. I definitely think that it's the way to go.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,634 Forumite
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    ellymoo wrote: »
    This is a really lovely idea. I definitely think that it's the way to go.
    It is a lovely idea.

    Shame that the OP's family have never offered to do that - or if they have offered their offer has been declined or the OP has neglected to add that little snippet into the original post.
  • Tell her she owes you x amount for the number of years you've hosted and send her a printed invoice.
  • Agree to request, then as you say this idea should be carried forward to the following Christmases.
  • VeeW wrote: »
    Tell her to shove it. Remind her of the times you have hosted the dinner, ask her to consider what contribution she'd like and deduct that times number of years. She'll then be due you. Perhaps that'll make her change her mind!!

    how does that help? creating conflict for the sake of it? if you think this is an appropriate response, then i pity your nearest and dearest
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,634 Forumite
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    how does that help? creating conflict for the sake of it? if you think this is an appropriate response, then i pity your nearest and dearest
    Yes, and this one is only marginally better:
    mai_taylor wrote: »
    Tell her she owes you x amount for the number of years you've hosted and send her a printed invoice.
  • Yes, I would say something. Thank you for presenting us with a bill for your "hospitality", it never occurred to me to do that when you spent Christmas with us. Thanks but no thanks, we are staying at home this year.
  • Pollycat wrote: »
    Yes, and this one is only marginally better:

    I think it's completely rude and out of order for someone to invite you to their house and expect you to pay so a rude response is what they should expect. I don't know why people can't just be up front and honest with people in their family, if it was me I would tell them that they are being unreasonable.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,634 Forumite
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    mai_taylor wrote: »
    I think it's completely rude and out of order for someone to invite you to their house and expect you to pay so a rude response is what they should expect. I don't know why people can't just be up front and honest with people in their family, if it was me I would tell them that they are being unreasonable.

    So you would go to the extent of printing off an 'invoice' to show your sister she's being rude?
    Do you not think having a dialogue with her might have a better result?
  • BobQ
    BobQ Posts: 11,181 Forumite
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    I would first ask if your sister can afford to invite you all around? If so then I would ask why she thinks a kitty is appropriate when she has been to yours on so many previous occasions.

    Is it possible that her family has financial difficulties and that having invited you they have just realised the financial costs they have committed to pay? Is it possible that they are not as well off as you think, but are embarrassed to keep taking your generosity so wanted to offer to host?

    If your sister is simply one of life's takers and can well afford to host maybe the thing to do is simply refuse and celebrate Xmas at yours.
    Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are incapable of forming such opinions.
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