Should I tell my boss about my personal problems?

Lrimas

Yes you should.

It is your boss' job to ensure that you do your job (and if you are doing your job well then he is doing his job well).

If he can't do this due to circumstances outside of his control then you have a responsibility to let him know (especially if he is a nice guy and is trying to do his job well)

As others have mentioned, It will probably help you deal with your problems as well. If nothing else, at least you can stop feeling guilty.

Edit: it is also your boss' job to support you if things are not going well due to medical issues. Let them help if they can.

fierystormcloud

Can't add much to what has been said, but I can understand it, as you must be overwhelmed with the baby coming alone. I hope you feel better soon Andrew

asajj

Is it a big or small company? You might be not aware but there might be support through company (occupational health). I did share some worries, state of mind with my boss in the past - and it was an immense help. He in return told me that he suffered from the same in the past.

I can't see any reason why you shouldn't share. It would also help to ease your burden! Definitely talk to him/her.

Voyager2002

I'm not sure what you would tell your boss, since you don't know what is wrong. As others have said you might be experiencing a perfectly normal reaction to impending fatherhood; you might have a physical blood problem reducing your energy; or there might be a mental health issue.

In the first instance I suggest you investigate the medical insurance that comes with the job, and see whether it covers anything like counselling. Even if not, the insurer might have information about relevant therapists in your area and would be more likely to suggest a good one than simply looking in yellow pages.

redpete

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

Is this something you reckon will be a good idea to share with the boss?

Although we don't know your boss I would suggest it would be a good idea to do so.

Worth mentioning though that we probably know your name and age and a lot about your personal circumstances. Would your boss know who you are from reading this thread?

FBaby

Could it be that instead of depression, it is exhaustion you are suffering from? The two are linked. It might be that when you worked very hard, Adrenalin was keeping you going, but now that it's left you, you can't get the energy to carry on the same way?

This would be especially explained by the anemia as the main symptom is tiredness. If being tired is leading to you to be anxious about not performing at the level you set yourself for, that could indeed then set you up for depression. Maybe you need a break? If that's the case, make sure to take it and look after yourself because as I'm sure you know, a new baby is exhausting in every way.

Caroline_a

More and more people are now finding that a lack of Vitamin D is causing symptoms such as depression and chronic fatigue. Ask your GP for a Vitamin D test - if you don't go outside much in the summer months you won't be able to build up your stores of it.

There's quite a lot of information on it here.

asajj

Voyager2002 wrote: »

I'm not sure what you would tell your boss, since you don't know what is wrong.

A simple " I have feeling a bit down and tired recently and trying to find out what is causing it" should be sufficient for a start.

RuthnJasper

I am sorry for the problems you are experiencing. Life must seem pretty bleak at the moment. I have problems in this area myself.


You say that your boss is a nice guy; I would take the step of confiding in him. It is up to you how much or how little you divulge, but I'm sure your boss will appreciate your honesty and it will at least remove the fear from your own mind that you are being judged because of your competence.


I have had just over twelve months of wretchedness in my personal life and decided to be open about what was happening with my line manager. She has been incredibly supportive, offering flexi-time for hospital appointments, making suggestions, etc.


It may also be that your company has some sort of confidential employee support arrangement, whereby you can have some (totally private, unless you are at serious risk of harming yourself or others) counselling or other assistance, and your boss could refer you to the service.


I most sincerely wish you all the best Andrew. You sound like a nice person in a psychologically bad place and that doesn't make you a 'freak' or outcast by any means. It's very hard to believe sometimes - but you won't always feel like this. You are doing the right thing in seeking support from the proper people. It's horrible, I know, but you will get through this even if it takes a while. Keep going.


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jobbingmusician

Yes, tell your boss. If you are worried about mental health stigma, you can mention that physical reasons for your lack of energy and enthusiasm are being investigated.

You have probably been referred to the local IAPT service, who will provide you with some brief interventions which can be very helpful. However, if you feel that a talking therapy would be helpful it would be worth finding out what your local Mind and other local mental health charities offer - where I work, for example, we offer counselling at an affordable rate.