Son and his mates

Robisere

This lad sounds like my senior gson, 22 now. His mum was left by his dad when he was 8 months old and she brought him up as a single parent, with help from us. Mum & dad divorced when he was a toddler and dad has never seen him since. I am telling you this to illustrate the fact that I became the male figure in his life. Both my dd and I realised there was something wrong.

Does your son find it difficult socialising with others? Does he find it especially difficult with someone he does not know? Does he avoid eye contact when speaking with others that he does not know well? You say that he has problems playing with other kids and especially playing sports.

That was my grandson - we fought the education services and medical profession until we saw a specialist and he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. At Primary school, he was tormented by others for not joining in. That is how kids are with those they see as different. But at Technical College he received one to one help and he blossomed, after I built him a computer: I was beating my brain, trying to find that "one thing" to interest him. It worked: he is now a computer Networking Engineer in a very good, very understanding local company.

I would advise you to take your son to his GP and badger them for an appointment with a specilaist in Autistic behavioural problems. Not saying he is autistic: Aspergers is just one part of the spectrum. Also badger the school: ask them if they can at least provide him with 'one to one' help.

I hope you can get some help for your son. This time, now, is important for him to get that help. It would be really advantageous to find that "one thing" he might be interested in. In particular, don't worry if he is not good at sports participation. It may be a part of his apparent "shyness" that is actually something else, that he cannot explain to you. I might also add that it has nothing to do with his intelligence, or seeming lack of intelligence: he is marching to a different drum. My gson has been MENSA tested and has genius-level IQ, but it works as "tunnel vision" inone direction; solving computer problems. I was able to talk with him on an adult level when he was quite young, but that only happened with me. Please remember that your son will need you and his mum during his problems.

Good luck!