Trying to sort out ill mother's credit card debts...How?!

tykesi

Deleted_User wrote: »

You pick up the phone and start talking to them.

Ever feel like you're wasting your 'breath'?

robber2

The most important point to remember is that these are her debts not yours. The banks will be happy to sit back and watch you and your family pay them off and will not tell you that you are under no obligation to do so.

Rob

emmajeff1985

tykesi wrote: »

Ever feel like you're wasting your 'breath'?

Is there really any need for that...? I've already said we are going to contact them, I'm trying to clarify what to say (i.e.: whether to say she can't pay at all).

Thank you Rob.

PeacefulWaters

They might struggle to confirm anything to you.

Data Protection etc.

mumps

I can't see that there is much they can do, it is her debt and it sounds like she doesn't have any assets for them to seize. I think your sister is right, your mum can't pay, you and your siblings don't have to pay. They are hardly likely to make her bankrupt as they would get nothing, I would just tell them the situation and let them get on with it.

badmemory

I would say ignore them and let them make her bankrupt if they want to waste their money. If she is being funded in the care home she can't claim attendance allowance. I doubt any order could take her last £20/wk which is what she will have for her personal needs. You can't get a power of attorney because she isn't competent to sign. Your eldest sibling is correct. You have actually no legal way of even tracing her debts & there could be many more than the ccs. There are very few occasions when I would say to walk away from debts, this is one of them.

My advice would be to visit as often as you can to check that her care is as it should be. When you visit make sure she drinks as much as you can get her to. Skin cream (even cheap stuff, it is the massaging that counts) as care homes tend to be dry and play havoc with your skin. Hold her hand whenever possible. Take in treats that you know she will like.

But FORGET THE DEBTS. They are not yours - if she gets a CCJ or made bankrupt who is going to care.

emmajeff1985

Thank you so much badmemory, the extra detail in your post actually just hit a nerve with me as we are a bit concerned about her care but that's another matter..!

I will pass on all these responses to my older sister who is receiving her redirected post. The only trouble is that one of the companies (Santander I think) have my sisters address directly as my mum lived with her temporarily last year. I think the credit card (or possibly a bank account) may actually be in my mums name but at my sisters address, so we are a bit concerned that debt collectors could turn up there looking for payment and potentially seize things of my sisters to cover the debts if she can't prove they're hers (I watch too much Can't Pay We'll Take It Away..!).

premierfella

Personally I think your original plan is the way to go (i.e. write them a letter) rather than just ignoring the letters coming through the post. Preferably including a few lines signed by your mother saying that you are writing it on her behalf. The credit card companies are currently in a position of having zero information at the moment, and I'm guessing that the sister isn't too keen on continuing to open mail addressed to your mother that escalates to court and then bailiffs, which is inevitably what will happen in due course.

Stick to the facts in the letter. If you are able to include a statement of income and expenditure so the credit card companies can see that they will be trying to get blood from a stone if they pursue the usual route all the better.

There are risks though with this route (as opposed to the alternative of just continuing to ignore the letters:
- They might freeze the accounts and try and get token monthly payments for eternity.
- They might ignore the letter and continue on to CCJ and bailiffs anyway (but at least you will have made the effort and given them the full picture)
- There might be questions about why the account address is currently your sisters, as your mother no longer resides there and she doesn't have power of attourney, so technically the account address should probably be the care home.

Under no circumstances make any payments yourselves - these are your mother's debts, and the lenders have no recourse to either of you. They lent the money, they stand to take the loss - all that is really in question here is at what point they formally record it as such and close the account.

leeroy2009

default on the lot simple as that or tell them they can have 50p a month or you will see them in court - end of.

badmemory

I would suspect at the moment that the local authority is responsible for her money as the family would have to go to court and spend thousands to get control and it would be pointless anyway. In these circumstances I would change the forwarding address to the home but you could try notifying HMRC & DWP of another but I suspect that they will only change to the care home.

Do not any of you make a payment or whichever one does could find that all future payments are changed to their accounts. Again, you can have no idea how much she owes and who to. Also, none of you have the legal right to find out.

Ignore her finances as I am sure she no longer cares (or indeed knows) about them. Move on to finding out about the effects dementia has. That is much more important.

And just to stress that I very much doubt, in view of what you have said, that she has capacity to sign anything herself.