Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pass on my salary sacrifice savings?

aquarius02

Why do you even need to ask this question? Of course you should share it with this man who is being kind enough to help you.

happyinflorida

This isn't very clear the way this is written - MSE you need to include a bit more info here as many of us know nothing about this.

If you are getting money back, then you should tell your FIL about it and ask if he'd like some of the money because FIL may be struggling to pay these nursery fees.

If FIL is stinking rich, then don't. But don't assume, ask. Some people keep their incomes extremely secret and pretend to be poverty stricken whilst actually having an enormous pension income. So don't assume, but do discuss and ask.

ska_lover

floss wrote: »

if your fil pays you the full amount for the fees, then yes,you should return the benefit you gain by using the salary sacrifice scheme to pay the whole cost.

If your fil pays a proportion of the costs, and you are claiming for the balance, then no, as the benefit is gained only on the amount you are paying.

Either way, you should have a conversation and tell him you are taking advantage of a legal tax avoidance scheme out of courtesy and his financial involvement.

i agree with t his

gaving7095

He's helping you in the end so yes, share the savings.

Jewels44

I would let him know about the childcare vouchers & then ask him if he wants some money back. That way you won't have to decide. He'll probably not want them back, you could suggest using the savings to add to a savings account for your child or for family days out he could be included in too. You are very fortunate to have such a supportive father in law. You should meet mine haha....

Jane_D

Yes. You should tell your dad what you are able to claim and let him decide if he reduces his contribution or not.

Honeylife

MeanJean wrote: »

Speaking as a grandparent I suggest that you tell the grandparent about your vouchers and what you will save, tell him what the saved money has been used for, and then ask if he wants to reduce his contribution. If he is financially comfortable and knows that the saved money will go towards your household bills and the children he will probably say that you should keep the saving. If he is experiencing hardship then your offer may be accepted, but you will be helping a loved member of your family and that is a good thing to do. I am happy to help my children but would be miffed if I was kept in the dark and then found out they were spending the money on partying or nice holidays while I was skimping and saving thinking they were in need. Be open and honest. Hope this helps

^^ What S/he said!

Fujiko

crmism wrote: »

The question you need to ask yourself is - who's is the child? Yours, or your in-laws'?

When you decide to have children, you must accept the baggage that comes with them, and that includes the costs of raising them. If you are finding it difficult to do this without assistance, you need to think very carefully whether you should give up your job and look after your child yourself. After all, that's what parents are for.:cool:

I agree. The answer is simple - if you couldn't afford to have children you shouldn't have had them and then expect the tax payer to help towards the cost of looking after them for you. Children are born with ready-made childcare: its called parents! Also, if you have a father-in-law presumably you have a husband, so what is he paying?

sooty&sweep

So you're asking is it OK to take more money off your father in law for childcare than its actually costing you ?

Sorry, but No it's not OK.

If when you tell him that you don't need so much money off him because of the vouchers then OK.

Jen

Dandie89

happyinflorida wrote: »

If FIL is stinking rich, then don't.

Really!! It matters not a jot how rich he is, morally there is no question that you should not inform him of the situation and leave it entirely up to him whether he would like to continue contributing to your family finances.

Any less is fraud, stealing, call it what you will. I would not do that to a stranger much less a close and caring family member.

Can't believe this question is real actually.