The cost of marriage!

adom_thomas

sophscottx wrote: »

My partner recently proposed and we are starting to think about when and where we would like to get married!

We've recently just bought a house so we don't want to spend a great deal on a wedding.

Most of my family haven't done the wedding thing before and I'm only 21 so most of my friends aren't married either!! So I'm just looking for a bit of advise at what people spend on weddings? And any tips for a cheap but nice wedding!

Obviously I know this can be as much and as little as you want but realistically i'm just trying to find some figures to focus on.

We don't want a big wedding, small wedding with a few guests and a little bit of a bigger party!

Any advise or anything would be really appreciated .

My point of view is we should not spend too much on weddings! A small wedding party is fine and save the money for future!

As you said, you just bought house. Just organise small dinner party there!

MockTurtle

Trina90 wrote: »

I'm getting married in May. We've sort of set a budget of about 10k - 15k. It is all going to be in a local hotel, not having a fancy car, about 50ish day guests, and 30ish guests arriving in the evening. Not sorted a honeymoon, we'll be having a delayed one.

That's a phenomenal budget! Fantastic that you can afford that, I'm sure you'll have an amazing day.

Absolutely no offense meant, but I don't think I could sleep at night with a budget like that for just one day. Ok, I don't know your circumstances and you could be a millionaire for all I know! But that is a vast amount of money to me and I couldn't afford to spend that much without taking out loans or using credit cards. I couldn't enjoy the day knowing I'd have that huge bill to pay off afterwards!!

But seriously, if you've got the money and that's what you want, go for it

Lily-Rose_3

MockTurtle wrote: »

That's a phenomenal budget! Fantastic that you can afford that, I'm sure you'll have an amazing day.

Absolutely no offense meant, but I don't think I could sleep at night with a budget like that for just one day. Ok, I don't know your circumstances and you could be a millionaire for all I know! But that is a vast amount of money to me and I couldn't afford to spend that much without taking out loans or using credit cards. I couldn't enjoy the day knowing I'd have that huge bill to pay off afterwards!!

But seriously, if you've got the money and that's what you want, go for it

Hmmm, I agree in a way. I think if you are very well off, and can spend £15K on a wedding without borrowing the money/getting into debt, then fine. However, getting into debt for a wedding is something I would never do in a million years, and is a very bad idea IMO. (Not aimed at Trina btw, as I don't know her circumstances; I am just generalising.)

catkins

maman wrote: »

I think the DIY wedding would be a step too far for me. I know it's traditional for parents to contribute but the idea that loads had chipped in would make me feel like the poor relation and spoil my day. Just my view, each to his own.

We had no real choice but to have a pretty DIY wedding because of lack of money. Of course we could have waited and saved but we both wanted to be married and did not want to live together first.

We actually enjoyed making it as cheap as possible - we wrote out bought invitations, we used OH's car to take us to the registry office (we went together as don't believe in the superstition of not seeing each other before the wedding). We enjoyed buying and cooking food and it meant we could decide what food we wanted.

I guess even in my early 20's I was money saving!

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Hmmm, I agree in a way. I think if you are very well off, and can spend £15K on a wedding without borrowing the money/getting into debt, then fine. However, getting into debt for a wedding is something I would never do in a million years, and is a very bad idea IMO. (Not aimed at Trina btw, as I don't know her circumstances; I am just generalising.)

I don't think getting into debt just for 1 day is a good idea on the whole.

I know some couples that spent a fortune on their wedding and were paying it off for years (in 2 cases they were divorced before they paid it off!)

A girl I worked with around 20 years ago spent over £10,000 on her wedding. She lived in a pretty grotty rented flat in a grotty part of London. All she kept doing was moaning about the flat, the area, how much crime there was there etc etc. One day I got so sick of her moaning I asked if she had thought of putting the money they spent on a wedding on a deposit for a house. She just looked at me as though I were crazy. She also got divorced before paying off for the wedding

maman

martinnathalie9 wrote: »

I also went to a DIY wedding in a country house where all the family and close friends contributed to the venue rental and everyone brought their own alcohol. It was super relaxed and a great atmosphere.

catkins wrote: »

We had no real choice but to have a pretty DIY wedding because of lack of money. Of course we could have waited and saved but we both wanted to be married and did not want to live together first.

We actually enjoyed making it as cheap as possible - we wrote out bought invitations, we used OH's car to take us to the registry office (we went together as don't believe in the superstition of not seeing each other before the wedding). We enjoyed buying and cooking food and it meant we could decide what food we wanted.

Sorry if I caused offence catkins. It wasn't intentional.:)


When I said DIY wedding I didn't mean doing your own flowers or favours or invitations. I think that's a great idea and fun. I think it's good if a parent of family friend can make the cake or even sew the dresses.


What I meant was family and friends contributing money to pay for the actual venue. It's a bit illogical as parents often pay but once it's widened from really close family (I think I'd stop at parents and grandparents) then it's almost like charging people to come. There was actually a thread on that once.:eek:

Gloomendoom

Our wedding wasn't strictly DIY although we asked guests to bring food, which they did in great abundance. My parents bought the booze (free bar) from France (100 bottles each of red, white, and fizz plus beer that we bought on offer in supermarkets). We bought the marquees and sold them afterwards and the venue was the garden of my wife's family home. About 140 guests (IIRC) and no distinction between afternoon and evening.

catkins

maman wrote: »

Sorry if I caused offence catkins. It wasn't intentional.:)

When I said DIY wedding I didn't mean doing your own flowers or favours or invitations. I think that's a great idea and fun. I think it's good if a parent of family friend can make the cake or even sew the dresses.

What I meant was family and friends contributing money to pay for the actual venue. It's a bit illogical as parents often pay but once it's widened from really close family (I think I'd stop at parents and grandparents) then it's almost like charging people to come. There was actually a thread on that once.:eek:

No, you didn't offend me at all. Everyone has different ideas and I am sure, for some, doing your own buffet, flowers or whatever, would seem an awful idea.

I agree with you about the money (I obviously misunderstood what you meant by DIY). Me and OH paid mainly for our wedding (that's why it could not cost a lot as we had no money!) and both sets of parents helped out. I would never have expected or wanted anyone else to help pay

peter12345678910

Mine was a very cheap wedding. But as long as you enjoy it, that is the important thing. No point having an expensive wedding if you are worrying about costs and there will also be natural anxiety, the main point is to enjoy the wedding. Then enjoy the marriage.

maman

My own wedding was just DH and I and two witnesses and then a restaurant meal for the four of us afterwards (which IIRC the witnesses treated us to as a gift). I did have some new clothes but not a typical dress and I wore them loads of times afterwards. We didn't tell anyone else beforehand and spent the evening drinking champagne (also gift from witnesses) and calling family with our happy news.


36 years on it seems to have got us off to a good start!:D

catkins

maman wrote: »

My own wedding was just DH and I and two witnesses and then a restaurant meal for the four of us afterwards (which IIRC the witnesses treated us to as a gift). I did have some new clothes but not a typical dress and I wore them loads of times afterwards. We didn't tell anyone else beforehand and spent the evening drinking champagne (also gift from witnesses) and calling family with our happy news.


36 years on it seems to have got us off to a good start!:D

Your wedding was exactly the wedding me and OH wanted. We decided though that our parents would be upset if they were not invited so we just had both sets of parents and our respective siblings at the registry office plus the 2 witnesses.

We wanted to just go for a meal after.

We got a great deal of grief from OH's mum about not inviting all the aunts, uncles, cousins etc to the wedding which we ignored. However she wore us down on having an evening do and inviting everyone to that. We did enjoy it but would have been just as happy not doing it. Of course, that is where our money went - drink, food, decorating the hall etc.

We also have been married 36 years - OH's mum said to me as we came out of the registry office "I'll give it a year if you are lucky"! Knowing that now if I could go back in time I would have our wedding exactly the way WE wanted it and ignored her