The cost of marriage!

onomatopoeia99

sophscottx wrote: »

Someone I work with paid over 2000 for a photographer, please someone tell me this is more than needed?!

As Andy said, price does not necessarily indicate quality, but someone advertising to do the whole day including a DVD of retouched images for £150 on gumtree is probably charging that for a reason, and the reason is they aren't good enough to charge more.

Better ones should have images / albums from previous weddings they have done so you can check you like their work, have insurance so if something goes horribly wrong with their photos (memory card failure, fire in their premises leading to data loss etc) they are covered to restage the whole thing to take the photos again, and so on.

sophscottx

That's good to know! I would never have though of insurance for things like that!

This week i'm going to the local register office to get some prices and a little more information! Hopefully it'll put me off to a good start.

I was hoping to go for next September but maybe need to wait a little longer for all the planning and to pay everything!

It's so exciting but I am kind of dreading costs haha. .

maman

sophscottx wrote: »

I'd never thought about peoples camera phones (how stupid and obvious!) Would be a good idea to get everyone to send them to an email to choose some more.

Someone I work with paid over 2000 for a photographer, please someone tell me this is more than needed?!

Such a relief to hear other peoples planning and ideas! Thanks everyone!

We've definitely decided on registry office with about 10 guests, then a party with more (not sure of an exact number right now!) So we need to find the best hall/venue! That's one of the hardest things I think, trying to think of a party venue that's cheap, easy to decorate and easy to get to for our elder relatives! As we don't want to pay for accommodation. As for bridal suites and things I would be happy just to go home together, I do love my own bed!!

I've got a wedding ring that has been passed down through generations, my partner isn't keen on rings as he can't wear one for work so it'd just be a cheap one for him as a thing for the day and occasions I guess.

Props also really good idea! You have no idea how helpful you are all being! I'm currently making notes and scribbles from all these ideas and thoughts

I've never been to a wedding (including abroad) where the bride & groom paid for my accommodation. I wouldn't expect them to. When a guest chooses whether to come or not they also decide what to do about travel/accommodation etc. IMO that's their responsibility.


Why bother with a ring for your partner if he's not keen? However cheap it's an unnecessary expense just to sit in a drawer. Or maybe he has an older relative (dad? granddad? uncle?) who'd like to pass one on to him (signet ring?) or even lend one for the day. Surely the groom could bend tradition and have something borrowed?

catkins

Me and OH got married over 36 years ago. Things were different then as couples did not go in for such expensive showy weddings.

We had no money - got married 5 months after meeting - so had no choice but to make it inexpensive. All that was important to us was the marriage ceremony.

We got married in a registry office with just parents and siblings there oh and 2 friends as witnesses. That's what we wanted and we stuck to our guns.

We had an evening party for rest of family and our friends and work colleagues. We originally only agreed to an evening do because OH's mum put so much pressure on us but we did both enjoy it.

One of OH's aunts made our wedding cake. My mum, his mum and both of us organised the buffet - making and buying food. We decorated the hall we hired.

We did pay for all the drink - unlimited bar all evening but it didn't really cost that much. I guess we have family and friends who don't take advantage!

We did book a DJ but he let us down at the absolute last minute and it was far too late to find another so some friends did it, bringing records and cd's with them. They were great and played great music, getting almost everyone on the dance floor. I honestly doubt a proper DJ would have been any better.

I tend to disagree with other posts on here about a photographer but it depends on your views as a couple. I hate having my photo taken and would never have a photo of myself or even myself and OH on display in our house. I have no photos of myself on facebook even.

We were going to get a friend to take some photos as he was pretty good and neither of us wanted to spend any time posing whether alone or in groups.

OH's parents kicked up such a fuss though that in the end they paid for a photographer. The photos he took were good but we weren't fussed about keeping any of them. OH's parents paid for an album for us but I can honestly say in 36 years we have looked at it 5 times absolute maximum. I am not even totally sure where it is (in the loft I think).

sophscottx

His dad's ring went many moons ago I think, he's a retired joiner so again didn't want to wear a ring due to the manual work and his grandfather never had a ring either, not sure if that's for the same reason, he worked down the pits! Maybe it's just there way of not wanting rings! I just thought we would have to bring a ring for the ceremony, but guess that would be our decision? so that's something else we wouldn't need to pay for!

So far we've decided on -
Register office (local for us)
Very few guests as just want it to be intimate and only involve the people that we really care for and vice versa.
Think we're going to skip the meal, if we get married later in the afternoon we could just go straight to party and buffet, right?
Hopefully a DJ that plays proper cheesy wedding music (our mams and his granny would love that)
No paid for bar (sorry guests)
Silly props from the pound shops!
A photographer (decent but not silly money, someone with experience that can prove it we love a good photo)
'Vintage' wedding dress
One wedding ring possibly
And a happy ever after I hope!!

I'm probably missing stuff..... but i'll get there reading through all these lovely comments.

[Deleted User]

sophscottx - how about making sure all you guests have something to toast you with? (I'm guessing you'll have some kind of speeches?) Cava/Precetto ect on the table, or handed out as they get there?

Some people put little gifts for all their guests on the tales, but honestly, I think it's a bit naff.

Are you having kids there? You might want to hoard some colouring books and crayons to keep them occupied.

We actually watch our wedding video more than we look at our photos. These days, they can pull off quite good photos from a video too.

catkins - Your guests brought CDs two years before they were invented, amazing! ;-)

sophscottx

Yes definitely need something for a toast! Good point indeed.

There will be kids there so colouring books are a good idea! Will add that to my list too! My nephews are obsessed with little toy matchstick cars so that's something!

So wedding videos may be the better option?

MockTurtle

The title of your post is wrong. Marriage costs very little (£120 ish), its weddings that cost a lot of money. Really, you could go nuts and the amount you could spend is limitless. It won't make your marriage any happier though.


Cost of my recent marriage:


Cost to give notice £70
Ceremony fee: £46
Certificate: £4
Total cost: £120


But then we went for a slap up lunch afterwards with our 4 witnesses (parents) which cost £300 for the 6 of us so all in, the day cost £420.

And we could not be happier

catkins

ringo_24601 wrote: »

sophscottx - how about making sure all you guests have something to toast you with? (I'm guessing you'll have some kind of speeches?) Cava/Precetto ect on the table, or handed out as they get there?

Some people put little gifts for all their guests on the tales, but honestly, I think it's a bit naff.

Are you having kids there? You might want to hoard some colouring books and crayons to keep them occupied.

We actually watch our wedding video more than we look at our photos. These days, they can pull off quite good photos from a video too.

catkins - Your guests brought CDs two years before they were invented, amazing! ;-)

I blame my very bad memory - I could swear CD's were played but obviously not! Must just have been vinyl then.

Personally, I could not think of much worse than a wedding video! I would not watch it even once

martinnathalie9

Some great advice on here. One thing I'd add is that there are some great winter wedding venues out there. The cost comes down a lot once you get out of peak season, so that's another way that you can make savings. I know you're in the northeast, but I oddly just saw that my wedding venue just posted about budgeting tips. Might be useful! http://theorangerymaidstone.com/news/budget-big-day/ Sounds obvious but the best way to make savings is to do as much of it yourself as you can. One of my artistic friends even did my flowers for me as her wedding gift. I also went to a DIY wedding in a country house where all the family and close friends contributed to the venue rental and everyone brought their own alcohol. It was super relaxed and a great atmosphere.