Boundary and party walls

Ozzuk

If you are that worried, put a fence up on your side (if no covenants/planning restrictions). Or as others have said, go to a garden center, get a tall shrub/tree in a pot, and put it so the postman can't use it as a route. But not close enough to go on her land obviously, no point in giving her ammunition.

Petty as it is, it would annoy me as well.

moneyistooshorttomention

r2015 wrote: »

When I had ivy branches growing through my fence from my next door neighbour I used to paint the leaves with glyphosate gel.


They never knew why it died.

Now I wouldnt agree with that - hence I just carefully trimmed the neighbours offending ivy exactly back to the boundary.

There are times and places where drastic measures are called for - eg if they've acquired a leylandii tree after you moved into your house (ie you bought yours - knowing the neighbours didnt have a leylandii). So - if one turns up subsequently near to your garden - well....things might be different - and I understand some people will kill them (I couldnt possibly comment any further on that point.....).

But, for ordinary harmless plants, then I do think that is not a suitable course of action.

reluctanthousewife

mishkanorman wrote: »

Whats the set up for her door ? Anything to show who owns that ?

You're going to have to dig your deeds out to see what they say regarding that front boundary, i personally would say that isnt a party wall because the fence is set off from it rather than it forming part of the boundary.

It's so easy to dismiss your questions as petty, until you've lived next to someone like that though you have no idea what strain it can put you under. Simple things to others will have you wrapped up in knots for days questioning the intent behind it.

Its worth checking your deeds regardless as to if you react now, it wont be the last thing she does im sure !


ETA,

I've had another look, the flashing and gutters appear to be hanging over 'her side' which would again suggest its yours and not party, the fence looks newer and is confusing things slightly as the actual pickets are in line with the wall. What is the lean to used for ? I dont think they would make something like a porch a party wall because you would not be able to remove without their permission which is odd.

Thank you for understanding and not just dismissing it as petty.

The fence is new....she put that up earlier this year (while I was on holiday) as she has blocked herself in to stop cars (taxis) using her driveway to turn in. And to stop my kids accidentally stepping on her driveaway if I have parked on the gravel and they get out that side. The lean to is actually part of my house...its my entrance into my home.

I've decided to let it go..the deeds aren't clear...and she will just argue it is a party wall. It's a small box....but if she decides to start sticking other stuff on it then I will have to get some legal advice.

Davesnave

reluctanthousewife wrote: »

Thank you for understanding and not just dismissing it as petty.


I've decided to let it go..the deeds aren't clear...and she will just argue it is a party wall. It's a small box....but if she decides to start sticking other stuff on it then I will have to get some legal advice.

It is petty, but if you react to it, it becomes something more and gives her power over you. Surely you can see that?

You already know that you can do very little about the post box without breaking the law yourself, or spending far more money than it warrants. It's causing no significant damage, and should it have undesirable effects on the postman/woman's behaviour, there are simple remedies for that.

It seems that you may have a neighbour who is difficult, controlling and territorial. The best way to deal with someone like that is with firmness and polite good humour. They particularly dislike the humour, or at least those I've dealt with seemed to. After all, their behaviour, though irritating, is usually amusing.

I am still laughing at the fact that this lady will now have to come out of her house in order to receive mail, especially as my own plan to site just such a post box for the convenience of our postman was laughed at, somewhat unkindly, only a few weeks ago!

latisha_2

Your problem with your neighbour will never resolve unless you two talk. Both of you should settle whatever issue you have to each other as soon as possible before it get worst. After all, you live in one community.

mishkanorman

reluctanthousewife wrote: »

Thank you for understanding and not just dismissing it as petty.

The fence is new....she put that up earlier this year (while I was on holiday) as she has blocked herself in to stop cars (taxis) using her driveway to turn in. And to stop my kids accidentally stepping on her driveaway if I have parked on the gravel and they get out that side. The lean to is actually part of my house...its my entrance into my home.

I've decided to let it go..the deeds aren't clear...and she will just argue it is a party wall. It's a small box....but if she decides to start sticking other stuff on it then I will have to get some legal advice.

Then the position of that fence would strongly suggest they are aware the boundary is from the edge of the porch onwards rather than it forming part of it, otherwise that first post would have been attached to the porch and the fence line run off it rather than set-back.

I agree with the sentiment to ignore rather than rise to it with things like this, if she's anything like mine she will play the victim to the world and you will end up appearing like a right bully. If you can, prepare a little log of these things, they are minor and may go nowhere however if it escalates you'll wish you had something to look back through. Use it as a little bit of therapy, get it all written down and then file it away and forget about it.

moneyistooshorttomention

reluctanthousewife wrote: »

The fence is new....she put that up earlier this year (while I was on holiday) as she has blocked herself in to stop cars (taxis) using her driveway to turn in. And to stop my kids accidentally stepping on her driveaway if I have parked on the gravel and they get out that side. The lean to is actually part of my house...its my entrance into my home.

That is entirely understandable for her to have put that fence up - as clearly other people shouldnt have been using her driveway to turn in.

Can't you find it in you to sympathise with her having had her property used (abused) like that by strangers? Also sympathise with her for having neighbouring children in her front garden (ie yours) - even though they were only doing so temporarily by the sound of it?

I think there is a second side to this story and we haven't heard it here.

reluctanthousewife

I don't remember ever complaining about the fence? So not sure why I'm being asked to sympathise re that. Only mentioned the fence as someone said it looked newer and was confusing.

Don't have an issue with the fence. If anything makes the front area look better! Oh and she's never had an issue as such with my girls, always complimenting them and saying she never hears them. One of the few nice things she actually said.

So to give a bit of background as people think I'm hiding something...

Had her complain about hanging baskets being hung on her fence (they were there before we moved in) so removed them. Left notes on my sisters car that she couldn't park on the street even though no yellow lines just because she parked opposite her house. Loads do that. But my sister stopped parking there to keep her happy.

Then complained about people (neighbours) parking on the street over night opposite our driveways but in front of their own houses(she doesn't even have a car) and when I said there is no issue and They are parked legally she printed out some law that wasn't relevant. I was like 'OK' and left her to it.

Complained about my gravel going on the pavement, fair enough, we started brushing it back onto the driveway and trying to keep on top of it.

Complained about the way we cut her ivy so stopped and let her do it. Even after all her complaining we took her doctors when she was ill and looked out for her as her own daughters got angry at something she did and pretty much disowned her. Got her things from the shop when she couldn't get out due to a minor op.

I give her Christmas presents even though don't celebrate it (she started it first) and last Christmas she hid in her house and wouldn't open the door to accept the present as I think she didn't want to feel obliged to give one back, but I never expect anything in return. And I know she hid as I saw her. All she had to do was say she didn't want to exchange presents and frankly i would have been happy as hate buying presents as never know what to get.

This is just the half of it...then I just had enough of her latest stroppy letter because my husband put oil in his car and accidently dropped a bit so one small oil mark was on the road (which is gone now) and she writes a completely stroppy letter saying it's not a garage and inconsiderate to everyone. So I thought stuff this. All she had to do was talk to him and he would have apologised and cleaned it up. It's not as though he was doing it all the time.

People post flyers and I've seen her chase after them in the street to return them as she doesn't want them and having a go saying don't post them. The poor guys are just doing their job. Oh and she has a no smoking sign on the front of the fence...it's the pavement...you can't stop people smoking on the pavement!!

I've had the landlord from the property on the other side of her come knocking on my door asking if I have issues with her as she was forever complaining about his tenants. He's now sold up as think he had enough too.

Only bothered to type all that out to show that it was a combination of all that that made me annoyed about the box so posted in here.....which in normal circumstances probably would not have annoyed me as it's not the end of the world....but anyway....just going to leave her to it. It's not worth it. More important things to deal with.

Davesnave

I wouldn't have bothered to write all that.

I'd have just asked MITSTM to point me to a thread where one does hear 'the second side to the story.'

I'll bet she can't!

mishkanorman

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

That is entirely understandable for her to have put that fence up - as clearly other people shouldnt have been using her driveway to turn in.

Can't you find it in you to sympathise with her having had her property used (abused) like that by strangers? Also sympathise with her for having neighbouring children in her front garden (ie yours) - even though they were only doing so temporarily by the sound of it?

I think there is a second side to this story and we haven't heard it here.

And this is exactly how it goes, the OP sounds like she's being petty and vindictive because "its just a fence" Right ? Have a little sympathy ! That person that is involving themselves into YOUR life and creating the issue maybe just needs a little understanding, perhaps a friendly gesture, maybe let her win this one as its no big deal is it !?

I've seen it time and time again, its how it goes with others and certainly [STRIKE]did[/STRIKE] does with us, neighbour makes jokey friendly observation about something you're doing 'wrong' but makes sure to point out 'they hate to ask as they're not THAT kind of neighbour'. Its not unreasonable and you want to stay on friendly terms so you comply, you may not hear anything else for a while and you think problem solved. Trouble is once they have your ear that's it, wont be much but it will be little "friendly" passive aggressive requests that keep them in control, because you cant point out any issues back as that's just petty.

Once you push back a little or it escalates and you put your foot down, suddenly you are the horrible neighbour who gives them so much grief and makes their life hell :mad:

Have a read of the mumsnet thread titled, AIBU or are my neighbours idiots. I wont give away too much but the neighbour has complained because the birds singing in the tree are disturbing his piano playing :rotfl: and he is VERY upset that his request to remove the tree has been turned down !