Egg Donation

GBNI

Not entirely sure of the best place to post this, but does anyone have any personal experience of being an egg donor? It's something I'm currently looking into so have been googling a lot but would appreciate some more views.


Thanks in advance.

peachyprice

I did look in to it when younger. It's not easy, you go through the same process as a woman having IVF, there are lots of drugs, lots of appointments, lots of invasive tests. For me at the time it wasn't conducive with bringing up 2 young children.

LilElvis

I'm a recipient of donor eggs - it gave us our gorgeous little girl. I do know what being a donor entails so feel free to ask any questions or send me a PM.

Are you thinking of making an altruistic donation or egg-sharing in return for lowered IVF costs?

tea_lover

I was going to donate eggs during my second IVF attempt but for various reasons it would have slowed the process down too much (the process itself takes the same time but it would have been delayed for boring administrative reasons).

It's a great thing to even consider, it really is. Do think it through carefully though. Having gone through it twice I wouldn't wish it on anyone - the injections, the horrible drugs, the daily hospital appointments, the egg collection itself, the bloating.... it's tough going. I fully appreciate that my experience wasn't great (I developed OHSS which is truly horrific, I really thought I was going to die) - a lot of women will have a lot less problems, but it's certainly never easy.

Best of luck with whatever you decide x

GBNI

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to answer.


It's the thought of the injections and pain that is putting me off TBH. I'm not that big a wimp, but daily I might find hard going. I am also worried about the potential effect of any mood swings etc on my own relationship.


I don't have (and never plan to have) children of my own, but I love the thought of being able to help someone who can't have children to have one of their own. It's something I've thought about on and off for quite a while, but an advert in a local paper of a couple asking for an egg donor has brought it to the forefront of my mind again.


I don't think it's going to be an easy decision to make.

DigForVictory

If your partner knows anyone going through IVF, this could be what helps them help you throughout.
As totally altrustic donation is a really remarkable & generous act, but it is a big ask. If you can both see or foresee someone you know getting some benefit, it's easier.
A cousin took time off to donate a kidney & her work gave her paid time off - but big companies with humans in HR can cope with that - other employers much less so.
Very best of luck with whichever path you choose.

tea_lover

Also important to bear in mind that donation (in this country) isn't anonymous, so any child would potentially be able to make contact with you in years to come.

GBNI

I work for the civil service, so not sure what stance they take on it. I had been reading that tea lover, but it's hard to know what that would mean. Would they expect a relationship etc etc but obviously that will depend on the individual!

LilElvis

tea_lover wrote: »

Also important to bear in mind that donation (in this country) isn't anonymous, so any child would potentially be able to make contact with you in years to come.

A donor would also have to be happy to accept that they may never receive any contact - either because the parents have decided not to tell the child or that the child does not wish to have contact.

tea_lover

LilElvis wrote: »

A donor would also have to be happy to accept that they may never receive any contact - either because the parents have decided not to tell the child or that the child does not wish to have contact.

Yes absolutely - and of course be happy with not knowing either way unless contact was made.

We looked into it from both sides (donating eggs, and potentially using donor sperm) and there's so much to consider. Which isn't me trying to talk you out of it OP! Far from it, it's an amazing gift to give someone - just one with a lot to think about first.

carolwat

Ive donated eggs 9 times as part of my own IVF treatment. I used the shared egg scheme. Its not easy going and the older I got the harder it was on me. The daily injections arent too bad, I used an ice cube to numb the area beforehand but my hubby actually injected as I couldnt have done it myself lol

I found out that other people had gone to concieve with my eggs, I shouldnt have but it was an error on the clinics part when passing my file to me to take to another clinic. That messed with my head but only because we hadnt been successful at that point. We were lucky that our 9th attempt worked so now im pleased to know that hopefully there are other couples out there with a longed for child from my eggs. I suffered OHSS on my last cycle but that is the one that worked. I always produced lost of eggs, im talking between 20-36 each cycle so always felt uncomfortable but nothing unbearable.

Its a very kind thing you are considering doing. It takes up a lot of time and to do it for no benefit to yourself is admirable. I can guarantee though that you will change somebodies life with your gift. You wont have kids knocking on your door in years to come. They take details to register with the HFEA but these will not identify you to the recipient. Any child can request identifying information once they reach 18 but your details wont just be handed over without proper processes and you will be contacted by the HFEA. I still have 2 years to go before anyone could contact me but im not worried.

There are some great forums out there, try fertilityfriends for example. A complete lifeline for me during treatment.