EH - Essex > Hebrides...the next step of the adventure?

foxgloves

Yes, I agree @EH, once we begin losing those people from the older generations who are close to us, all those little personal possessions become treasures rather than 'things'. As a keen genealogist, I have a box full of ancient photos & bits & pieces which would be of no value to anyone outside the family, but they are so very important to me.
I found it strange how organising a funeral for my parents was both terribly sad.....it went in waves....I was absolutely fine with some things, like the appointment with the hospital & the Registrar, then almost dissolved in the florist's shop for no real reason other than my sister & I being stood in there choosing flowers for the coffin of the best & most inspirational gardener we'd ever known - our Mum! Yet putting together the order of service, choosing stories to include in the eulogies, they really helped in a way because we knew we were (as my Dad would have said) "doing them proud". It's an odd time. You feel desperately sad for the loss of someone who has been in your life forever, yet while I very much miss seeing my parents in person, they are still such a strong presence in terms of personal & shared memories. I don't have children, but I see a growing resemblance to my Dad as a young man in my oldest nephew, & the shy talented musician in my youngest nephew, very like my Mum. It's definitely a pressurised, busy & emotional time, @EH, as I know you'll be finding, but you will find that you will talk about your Dad with your Mum often......"Do you remember when he did that?", "Whatever would he have thought about this?" & a hundred other things. And it helps. Because our Dads might have 'stopped being' but memories are powerful things & keep our lost people close.
F x

beanielou

We raised a toast to my dad at my mums 80th 

Sun_Addict

I lost my mum almost 22 years ago and still think about her every day. The first year is the hardest. Once you can no longer say this time last year … it becomes a little easier. My thoughts are with you at this sad time. 

EssexHebridean

Thank you all - honestly, it’s always great knowing that people “have your back” here, but at the moment it’s even more valuable. So much wisdom too. 

Good steps forwards yesterday - MrEH got the certified copies of the will and the certificate done while he was in the office, so Mum should now be able to start sending things off once I’ve countersigned the covering letters as co-executor. Yesterday’s treasures were an entire bag full of maps, town plans, A-Z guides to various places and similar. A good number of them we will likely keep - I’ve already selected some vintage OS maps and a rather stunning 1950’s “Foldex” one - prior to yesterday I had heard of those but never actually seen one! Those we don’t want to keep will head to the charity shop where we can be sure someone will appreciate them. Mum and I also made good inroads in clearing several areas which will be helpful to her going forwards. Today I need to shuffle money around to pay the funeral bill - I’ve got the bank details though so will sort that later. 

Other stuff in the plan for today: we’ve been for a gorgeous sunny walk and dropped a couple of Dad’s seemingly numerous supply of penknives into the knife-amnesty bin at the Police Station. I’ve just had breakfast and will head to the gym on my bike shortly, then I can come via Mum’s on the way home to drop off the paperwork. I plan to get the shopping done this afternoon, as that frees up tomorrow for a general day of getting odds and ends done, hopefully going for a walk somewhere and whatever else suits. 

Meals are planned, and a shopping list - a nice short one - is written. It’ll be an Al’s shop today so hopefully forgiving on the budget! A loaf has been made using one of Dad’s bread mixes - cheese & sun-dried tomato this time, and I’ve got the brioche buns out ready for burgers for tea tonight, too. I’m going to drag the two chicken carcasses out later ready to do stock in the slow cooker overnight, then that will make soup tomorrow along with half a cauliflower and most of the parsnips that need using -my hope is that the things coming out of the freezer will free up enough space to allow plenty of the soup to make its way back in there. 🤞🏼

Banks checked and all fine. I’m not expecting any particular spending over the weekend either so we should end up the month pretty much where we’re at now, I think.

right - time to get myself ready and head out as my tea and toast has had sufficient digestion time ahead of cycling I reckon! 

foxgloves

Isn't it interesting what things people have multiple quantities of, @EH. Penknives for your Dad. Must have been gadgets he liked & found useful - the sort of item where I guess people are always looking for the perfect one. When we cleared out our old family home, we found my Mum had amassed what looked like the regional collection of assorted anti-mould sprays. I can't really recall the house having black mould......to which she'd have said 'Well there you are then, proves they work!" With my use-it-up, non-wasteful head on, naturally, I could only bring myself to throw away the bottles with the smallest amounts in......which left about 8 bottles to bring back with me, so this is a product we are not going to run out of any time soon. In Dad's garage cupboard, we found heaps of different bottles of weedkiller (not something I use as we are pretty much organic with our gardening) My teenage nephew called out to a neighbour walking his dog "Hey, would you like some free weedkiller?" The old chap said yes, please & to leave it on his doorstep........my nephew duly delivered around 14 bottles! Goodness knows what he thought when he got home with the dog! 
Cheese & sundried tomato bread sounds scrummy & I bet a charity shop will be glad of some maps/guides. Our local charity bookshop always has a box of those on display. I would have found it so hard to throw my parents' stuff away.....it genuinely helped me knowing that we had benefitted charities, local groups & their friends as much as we could.
F x

EssexHebridean

Absolutely agree Foxgloves - even better is that a lot of stuff will make it’s way to the hospice shop and the team st the hospice have been wonderful over the past few weeks. We’ve supported them for a long while anyway as they were marvellous years ago when my great uncle was ill too.

I’ve had a stupidly active day today one way and another. A three mile walk first thing, then just over 2 miles cycling to the gym, my gym session, another 3 miles cycling to Mum’s, a bit over 2.5 miles back to home, and then finished off with a 1.5 mile walk to/from Al’s for shopping. 7 different activities in total and over 14,500 steps so far - phew! It does feel good to have been moving so much though- definitely an antidote for the more mentally taxing stuff that’s going on at the moment, too.

Grocery shopping is done - £12.57 spent in Al’s which I’m delighted with - it even included a couple of storecupboard bits and some items that will get factored into multiple meals, too, so what a win! 

Tomorrow will be about getting bits and pieces done I think - we have some coin to pay into the bank so that will probably be done first thing, then the rest of the day may just end up in pottering - and if so, I’ll happily take that. 

WelshmansDaughter

"Welshmans Daughter - you've nailed it - thank you for posting that. I think it's possible to be appreciative of the good stuff, without losing sight of the fact that it's not "all" good, too! "

Apologies for late reply, I was mentally absent this week 🤷

You're welcome. Unfortunately a lesson learned from experience. 

milann

EH I’m tired just thinking about your activities today. 

I’m sure the hospice will appreciate anything that gets sent their way……they do incredible work 👏👏

savingholmes

Wow that's a lot of activity. Sounds like you have recovered your fitness. I hope it helped too in other ways

EssexHebridean

WD, Milann, SH, thanks for stopping by! I’m really finding stuff like the gym is helping hugely at the moment - it’s time where I’m focused entirely on what I’m doing - cycling is rather the same in fact as I need to be concentrating on so many things at once but also have a chance to take in views etc. Plus of course plenty of activity also means I’m more tired by the end of the day! 

The big slow cooker is out with two frozen chicken carcasses, an elderly carrot cut into chunks, the last onion from a few weeks ago’s veg box and the usual bay leaves, peppercorns. Also found some asparagus ends in the freezer that I threw in there ages back to use for stock, so they went in, and one of the tubs of duck stock from a few weeks back as that wasn’t wonderfully successful and it will add at least a bit more flavour right from the start. That lot will burble away overnight on the low setting and then I’ll have the stock ready to use for soup making tomorrow. I’ve also got stewing mutton out of the freezer - that is going into the smaller slow cooker overnight tomorrow alongside tatties, onion, carrot, parsnip and some yellow split peas (that are already in soaking) to make Sunday’s lunch. So food all in hand and I’ve suddenly got plenty of freezer space as well - which is a bonus!  At some stage over the weekend I also need to put together a cauli cheese and bacon pasta bake - some more oddments for the freezer will go into that too - the bacon will probably be some I cooked to stop it being wasted and froze a while back, and I think there’s some finely chopped and sautéed onion in there as well which might well get stirred into the cheese sauce. I think I really need to concentrate on batch cooking when I have time and mental energy at the moment in order to make meals easier when I don’t have that extra time. 

Had a decent little flurry on Prolific over the past couple of days - once things pay out I should be able to cash out again.

Time for bed now I think - then we begin all over again tomorrow and see how much we can achieve!