The Simple Bare Necessities feat. Gratitude & Recipes

badmemory

Do the parentals have POA in place ready for if they need them? If they are worried about it being used before they are ready, THEY hold the paperwork until THEY are ready to let it go. It makes it so much easier to deal with things if something should go wrong with their health. It can also save thousands against the need to go to court.


I have done both POAs & they are in my "what to do when I can't do it myself" file. That is literally what is printed on the piece of paper stuck on the top of a box file. Hopefully I am at least 15 years off needing my son to use it, but it is there so that he can manage my affairs with the minimum of difficulty. The least I can do is smooth his path for what is bound to be a difficult time.


ETA Should have said POA done DIY £82 each unless low income in which case FREE. Really easy to DIY with online entry but then print sign & post. The hardest part is getting the signers in the right place to sign in the right order. Keep it simple is the key. Do not waste money on a solicitor unless your financial circumstances are really complicated, which for most of us is not the case. The norm is some savings & the roof over our heads. But without that POA you can't sell their house or pay their care home fees etc & the LA will do it & charge for it, unless you pay £1000s to go to court. Nothing in that last sentence is very MSE.


Sorry if you think I should not have posted this, but I remember my mother's rapid deterioration in 2 weeks with no stroke & the absolute mess we would have been in if we hadn't got the POA a few months before (yes less than a year). One of the social workers you could see getting ready to pounce & then her disappointment when the POA was mentioned. Never saw that one again.

Greying_Pilgrim

badmemory - you are perfectly right to post about such matters. I don't think such paperwork has been completed. If it has, siblings have been entrusted, and from conversations a-looooooonnnnngggg time ago, I don't think that that has happened.



There is no house to dispose of - they are tenants. I use 'estate' in the broadest sense of the word to mean their goods and chattels. Of those, there are rather alot. Of zero 'value' though, with furniture being dated, although for the most part, reasonably well cared for. What would cause a headache though is if a house clearance had to occur on death - there is time-limit for handing back to the landlords. Not good if you are trying to organise funerals/grieving/dealing with relatives etc etc etc. And I don't write that in a selfish 'what about me' manner. It's human nature to be over-whelmed by practical tasks when you are going through immense emotional upheaval. I'm not sure how much help I would get from wider family, and know that I couldn't do it all on my own.



There is no huge financial nest-egg to worry about - in terms of paying for care home fees, or splitting between relatives. There was money set aside for funeral costs, but on plans that cost about 50p a month, a half-century ago! I'm hopeful they have kept pace with inflation, otherwise that will present a major headache.



There is however, a slight change of stance going on. A recognition for the need for help, a recognition for the need to share information, as the falling parental has always dealt with matters financial/legal/insurances/admin-orientated.


But yes, someone's health and well-being can change overnight, and you don't have to be a senior citizen for that to happen.



Ta for the post.


Greying X

beanielou

POA all the way.
I did mine at the end of last year.
My ma has hers done but I dont know where it is :think:

apple_muncher

And when you need to register the POA, get some certified copies, and get said copies stamped on every page. The solicitor we are using to sell mum's house only accept the original (held by my sister) or a copy stamped on every page, which my copy is not. For goodness sake, it was certified by another solicitor! Sigh.

beanielou

apple_muncher wrote: »

And when you need to register the POA, get some certified copies, and get said copies stamped on every page. The solicitor we are using to sell mum's house only accept the original (held by my sister) or a copy stamped on every page, which my copy is not. For goodness sake, it was certified by another solicitor! Sigh.

Really :eek::eek:

Silver_Queen

apple_muncher wrote: »

And when you need to register the POA, get some certified copies, and get said copies stamped on every page. The solicitor we are using to sell mum's house only accept the original (held by my sister) or a copy stamped on every page, which my copy is not. For goodness sake, it was certified by another solicitor! Sigh.

That's really annoying but to be honest, it's the fault of the certifying solicitor as they should have certified every page. Unfortunately the selling solicitor is really just doing what they're supposed to do.

apple_muncher

Thank you Beanie! Yeah, I know SQ. But we were completely clueless about it all when we needed it doing, so I'm just putting the info out for those of you who are not yet at that point of the process. Belt and braces, m'dears. Belt and braces.

Greying_Pilgrim

apple_muncher wrote: »

But we were completely clueless about it all when we needed it doing, so I'm just putting the info out for those of you who are not yet at that point of the process.

^ THIS. We've not even had the convo yet. And whilst I've heard of POA etc, I'm clueless too. And mildly motivated to ask questions. Siblings won't even have a clue about such matters, and don't and won't ask questions. So I appreciate signposts very much. It's enough to have to gird your loins to have difficult convos. And whilst - compared to many - the 'estate' is minimal, there is still sufficient stuff that will be needed to be sorted at a very difficult time to make it a less than pleasant task. I think the parentals are of a generation that 'expect to pass away in their beds' and for there to be little to sort out. But things have moved on, and we don't all get the passing that we imagine..........


I think it's better to be prepared and not need to use things/instruments of law, than to not be prepared and to enter unwillingly into a legal quagmire.



Greying X

apple_muncher

Indeed, gp. Very true.

My dad simply breathed his last. He was 'lucky'. Mum has descended into dementia/alzheimers. We were fortunate to have Enduring Power of Attorney that dad set up wayyyyy back (2007, maybe). But that didn't cover mum's health, and - again - we were fortunate to know a chap at mum's church who helped us set that up as soon as we realised we needed it, and while mum could still just about understand what it was.

Maybe you and Mr GP could set up yours and tell family about it and persuade them to do it too. It only becomes 'real' when you register it. And there are two POAs - health and wealth, soboth willneed doing.

Sorry to witter on.

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening :hello:


Despite useless spring weather, today has been pretty spiffing.


BG has continued in their 'nap' vein and snoozed for mucho of the day, in between being active and creative, so I think all is well. They munched a big lunch and an even bigger tea - so I really am hopeful all is well.


I had a chore-fest today. No need for lanyards, day-passes, nor portaloos. But I was kept busy :rotfl:


I tackled the 'grot-spot' of doom - and I've nearly won :j:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:



There was a photo that was from 20 years ago, when we went on our one and (possibly) only cruise to the Carribean, that DH likes and wants to keep, and I'm indifferent about. It was taken by the ship photographer, and whilst the surroundings/ship/us bit is OK, the company just stuck a really naff sign up to the effect of 'day 3 - destination X' on the lifebouy in front of us....... Anyhoo, this picture was once in a frame, but somehow now isn't and is just gathering dust. What to do? I decided to have a go at photographing it, to see if I could capture the essence of the pic, but without the baggage of tat. Eventually, it worked! I got it in focus, and recorded it. So, physical item removed, and a historical event recorded for posterity


And we both looked so young...........................................................


I'm hopeful our new piece of furniture will be collected over the weekend and then we can begin to sort more things and begin to have a 'place for everything and everything in its place....'


Tea this evening ended up being lentil bolognese with macaroni pasta. I think I have mentioned before that this is a Greying fam. fave and BG devoured a big lump of it!


Today I am grateful for these 3 things;


memory building - past and present


progress

a holiday weekend to look forward to - despite the dire weather predictions................... :(:rotfl::rotfl:


Ta for popping in. Appreciated.


Greying X