only ONE credit card left + mortgage. current mood: content

EssexHebridean

It's also a good point about visiting him being a good opportunity for her too, in fairness. She has one other massive advantage too - in that you having been put in a position where you've been left feeling resentful will of course be able to do as much as possible to ensure that she doesn't end up feeing the same way. Whilst things like Skype etc aren't the same as being with someone personally, they do go a long way to bridge the gap caused by parents working away etc. I suspect with your insight, and support, and technology helping too, she's cope with it amazingly well. Doesn't change the fact that you're going to feel affronted on her behalf though - and rightly too - you're her Mum, it's your job to feel protective!

On the groceries side, that's a high old spend for an adult and a child. Can you go through all your cupboards/fridge/freezer and meal plan according to what you have, then must write a list for what you need to buy based on that plan? I certainly reckon you can trim a third off that easily. Just think - if you could get it down to £30 a week that's potentially £75 plus extra you could have at the end of the month!

Good luck!

fru-girl

Thanks.

Re the groceries budget yes it's on the high side, but it includes some toiletries and cleaning products etc. My goal is to get it to £40... I highly doubt I can go lower than that without topping up during the week. (I do one big shop online every week).

Huskyrunner

Me and my oh just manage too get it too 40pw re food shopping but i dont know how you will manage on prices in the south.

We budget separate for toiletries though as my oh has a passion for stupidly expensive shampoos

fru-girl

I guess part of the challenge is that I'm a bit of a food snob and low carb-ing too... we eat a lot of fresh veggies and fruit, cook everything from scratch, and I personally don't eat much bread, pasta, rice, potatoes/ And I buy organic milk and yogurt, some organic meat and a lot of fish... I'm also a bit of a cheese addict so all in all it isn't the cheapest food basket around. I don't buy any alcohol at home, no fizzy drinks, juice, cake (we bake once in a while), no sweets, no crisps so that takes costs down a bit. So all in all it's a bit more expensive, and also needs careful planning so that I don't throw away food.

One thing that would probably help is stop buying Tesco online but I don't drive and don't want to spend Saturday morning or any other evening food shopping.. I'd probably save some money but block a lot of my free time, and I barely have any.

I think most of my bad spend habits are related to (sadly) eating out, fun outings so concerts, theatre tickets and so on, and way too much holidaying. I did buy some stuff for home on credit cards, but I don't think that's what really caused it.

MistyMountainTop

Hi Fru-girl, I am here to subscribe! Your situation is different to mine but I am able to relate to so much of your diary.

I need to lose some weight and am now going to have a look for spinning classes, though they sound a bit scary! :eek: I eat too much white rice and pasta because it is cheap and filling, but I need to make the effort to either buy whole wheat/grains or avoid it all together. It would be great if these two changes managed to melt away my excess pounds!

Is your ex intending to move away permanently?

Huskyrunner

Try sweet potato a good carb alternative misty it doesnt bloat you as much as pasta or rice either

fru-girl

@Misty: thanks! Wholewheat didn't do it for me, I lost a lot of weight avoiding starches and sugar altogether (including alcohol). I was on a "low-carb high fat" diet for several months when I didn't even eat carrots and starchy veggies and no fruit (fresh or dry). This is the one: https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/foods#foodlist

I'm now back to eating some carbs but of the natural variety (so carrots, beans, etc). I do eat fruit again but I try not to eat a lot of it. And I do drink alcohol when I go out but that's less than 1x week.

In terms of exercise I'm not a gym person... however I do yoga and spinning (and a bit of swimming) and it works out cheaper with a gym membership. I also play tennis with a friend 1x week and I love rollerblading... but there is no rollerblading path nearby and I don't like going on roads, so we don't go that often. We also cycle a bit in our local park, and I walk a lot, as I don't own a car. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important to be active and do a variety of stuff on a regular basis... there was a period in my life when I didn't do any of this and that's how I gained a lot of weight (+comfort eating...). Luckily that's all gone now. I lost 20lb in about 3-4 months. I could do with losing another 10lb but I'm not that bothered about it, at least I can now wear all my clothes in my wardrobe

Yes my ex says he's moving permanently. He has not decided yet though, I believe he'll decide next week, and move in Dec/Jan.

@Huskyrunner: my daughter doesn't like sweet potatoes so I just don't buy them, but I'll try again, food tastes change a lot, I used to hate spinach and now I love it

MistyMountainTop

Thank you Fru-girl! I do a fair amount of walking, mostly around town but also take my dog out at least once a day. I probably walk for an hour a day, but it is not a hurried walk and I think that is the problem. I would actually like to walk more, on trails and on holidays etc, proper walking. I don't want to go too far though until I get some weight off to save my knees. I have a whole wardrobe that would fit if I could just lose 1-2 stone, I have been at my current (over)weight for some time now but need to lose quite a bit. I try to avoid sugar and don't drink at all, but I will seriously look at eating a lower carb diet. I do love fruit though. And cake.

The spinning class I have found is at a nearby gym that requires membership, which is £27 a month minimum 12 months. The pay as you go is only available for swimming. There are many different classes included in the membership and I could have my showers there, but I am only now doing a budget and am not sure if it will stretch that far. I may just have to walk faster!

fru-girl

Alright another afternoon posting as I've evaluated all my finances once again and checked to see if there are any savings to be made. I have a YNAB 4 license which I bought a long while ago but never got around to learning how to use it... and I logged in the online version and discovered that YNAB offered me a free trial for 277 days (~ 9 months free) for the YNAB online version... so anyway, I decided to give the online version a try at least for a couple of months, to see how it works. I've added the bank accounts and the 3 credit cards and the childcare vouchers account and budgeted all the money that I have. Will enter all transactionss in YNAB from now on, need to install the app.

Happy weekend everyone!

fru-girl

@Misty: my gym membership is £50 (monthly DD), it's not the cheapest in my area but the most practical and accessible for me, it's the one where my DD goes for swimming and tennis so I can spin while she does her classes Also I can access their tennis courts at no cost and I play tennis 1x week or so.

Re: spinning, I love it - it's a quick intense workout with instructor (or you can do it on your own but I like the classes, there are some crazy instructors who motivate you). I'm addicted to it