Personal debts to friends and family

EssexHebridean

Further to the above- assuming you have bank details / an address for this person already, I would personally not be inclined to engage further with him other than to tell him the date on which you will be commencing payments. Yes you've been at fault for not paying him back, but his threats are at least as bad, if not worse. Certainly don't answer telephone calls - put your contact in writing.

JustAboutThere

shroomdoom wrote: »

He essentially said if I don't pay the agreed amount, he will destroy my life and use the promissory note in court. To be honest, I understand how he feels and I just wish I could rectify this straight away.

My offer is going to be half of what he's requested per month, starting two weeks later than he requested...I'm afraid to even contact him about the offer because I'm afraid it will trigger more humiliation.

I've lent money to friends before and it does get a little galling when they've not paid back what they owe and yet they've just gotten a 2nd car / booked a holiday, bought a new DVD player, etc. with no word of when they were intending of honouring what they owed.

Whilst it may be difficult, I urge you to keep the lines of communication open between this person and yourself. Even if its a case of "I haven't forgotten you and I really am going to pay you back. This is my plan [insert how much and schedule of when you intend to pay back the money]. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't contact work, etc. as I need my reputation to be able to work. If I can't work, then I can't pay back what I owe."

Best of luck.

warby68

Your friend/former friend may be putting you under pressure but perhaps has also got rather desperate at the lack of repayment, particularly when you worked for 3m. Presumably a friend willing to lend you 2000 was a good friend at some stage so something has pushed them to this hostile strategy.

To me (pretending to be one of your creditor friends) your SoA looks a little 'relaxed' (food, entertainment, presents) for someone that needs to urgently maximise debt repayment. I think you could easily show some good intent and provide the requested repayments, if not more, by taking a little more 'pain' yourself, you're only 82 short as it is. Would a large first payment (and perhaps a token 'interest' gesture) help appease your 'friend' and take the worry away that you will put off repaying for ever and make them more amenable to waiting a little longer for the rest?

It would only be a for a few months as well so mum, grandma( and your wardrobe) should understand your need for economy for a while longer. After all how did they manage when you had zero income or were working away? Take a bike to Grandma's maybe? Look up free prescription delivery? A couple of 2nd hand clothing items if you need something urgently. Its not forever.

I understand you've been through a rough time but, in real life, money owed to friends and your own 'community' should have really high priority for the best outcome. Your reputation there is just as important as your professional one. You can move jobs but not where you come from.

Even if the friend is totally unreasonable that only really increases the need to pay them off ASAP.

Good luck

shroomdoom

Hey guys,

Thanks for your comments; It's been really helpful even if some insinuations were a bit hard to swallow so, let me tell you what I've been doing constructively today.

1) I re-evaluated by shopping budget; I went to the closest Lidl which is a bit far by walking but worth it to have this burden off my back. Looking at what I usually bought in Tesco and other supermarkets, I can reduce my shopping to almost €45 a week for both my Mother and I.

2) I changed telephone and internet provider reducing my bill from €20 a month to €15.

3) I spoke to my Grandmother about alternative arrangements and a local organisation that aids the elderly which will take her to a centre one day a week, each week for just €15.

4) Bank fees; Bank fees are crazy here. Withdrawing from an ATM, online transfers, POS payments, using a card online all carry fees from between 0.10c to 0.50c. To cut down on this, I joined a Credit Union which would completely eliminate both the fees noted above and the monthly and quarterly payments for holding a bank account.

5) Clothing; not so much luck here. The main burden is that living in a rural area means I need everything to be posted to me rather than being able to collect it in store. The cheapest I can find is the site I currently use which charges almost €7 for postage.

6) Savings; rather than saving €100 a month, I will reduce it to €50 and save it in my local credit union.

In regards to my debt, when it was agreed my friend was aware of the situation I was in and there was no general time fram discussed for repayment except 'as soon as possible'. I completely empathise with my friend and I have no idea what's going on in his private life that has driven him to some extremes but rather than dwelling on them, I just want to have this debt resolved.

I don't drink alcohol, we don't have a local cinema etc so there aren't many temptations so I'm quite confident I can make a real dent in this debt in the short term.

I would like to address something though, in my previous job which was a 3 month contract, I was only earning €1000 a month and that's why I was unable to make payments at the time. He was aware of this and I even showed him how the money was being spent.

SophieLoui23

Sounds like you've made a really positive start

lessonlearned

Well done, that's a great start.

It does get easier. In fact it becomes a game, and quite an addictive one.

it's surprising how, once we get going, we become more inventive. Often all it takes is a bit of imagination and a bit of creativity to overcome hurdles and come up with all sorts of little money making and money saving ideas.

You can still have fun and enjoy life on a tiny budget.

Stick around these forums and you will get lots of support and encouragement and you will learn how to really s t r e e e e t c h those pennies.

You've made a cracking start today. Keep it up and you'll be fine.

shroomdoom

Thanks guys, I'm really determined to get this sorted ASAP Reading though posts here, I can see that so many people have been through a lot worse than I have and seeing their issues resolved gives me hope.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you have been very proactive. I am sure once you start your new job and make your first payments to your friends things will soon improve and in 5 or 6 months time things will look very different.

EssexHebridean

Well done you - I'm smiling just reading your last posts - the change in your mindset is brilliant - you've gone from "this is awful" to "this is awful but I can fix it" - those of us who post on here can't want anything more than that! :T

shroomdoom

Well, just got some bad news. My employers have told me it's unlikely my contract will extend further than 12 weeks. This means I will have to really scrimp to make sure I can save more than €50 so that when the contract ends, I won't be left with nothing.