Depressed, anxious & can't go on like this...

luvchocolate

Hi just wanted to say they do not do early discharges, this was stopped a couple of years ago.
Get advice from one of the debt charities and read the welcome thread on this forum, read everything you can.
Its all in the planning, preparation is the key.

owlet

One thing I wanted to add is that the debt limit fir a DRO is £20,000. In your opening post you said you were "about" £19,000 in debt.

I would seriously consider bankruptcy over a DRO in your case - unless you are very very sure you have included every debt. That "about" 19,000 can easy slip over 20,000 if a debt crops up that you have forgotten about or you make a mistake in the amount owed.

Bankruptcy is a catch all situation where , even if you have a debt you have forgotten about or make an error in the exact amount you owe - it doesn't matter because bankruptcy covers it all.

Just my thoughts....

sourcrates

Its also difficult to meet the £50 surplus income criteria for a DRO.

Plus if the OP is owed backdated benefit, she might fall foul of the assets rules.

DEBTMONKEY1A

Hi-sorry-unaware the early discharge stopped. So OP ....go with all the advice & go BR. As stated, if something took you over the £20000 then if a Debt Relief Order was in place or progress it would cause a load of grief/hassle which you don't need. As mentioned by myself & other recent posters...BR really is a 'catch-all' so if any debts prior to the BR were forgotten/not included they would STILL be written off. In relation to overpaid benefits/tax credits-Step Change would advise on this & how to go about including them-its a bit more involved than say a standard debt to a loan company etc.

Again as said Step Change will advise on up to date rules for the benefit overpayments-you can google it if you wish but I've had a quick look & some of the info is out of date. Most important thing if you do go BR (& please do!) is to declare all of these on the BR form BEFORE actually going BR. It may seem daunting but Step Change/CAB etc (Step change are much easier to reach by phone!) will talk you through it all. Beleive me....when the BR day comes it'll all be an anticlimax lol (!).....and you will be DEBT FREE.

StepChange_Rachael

Hi

I just came across your post and I’m sorry to hear that these debts are causing you such difficulty and that you feel there’s no hope.

There is certainly a way forward for you to become debt free and if you’d like further help and support with finding a suitable debt solution then please do contact us.

As you've already spoken with us you can find or contact details here to discuss things further.

Take care,
Rachael

MM1975 wrote: »

I'm a bit of a hot mess right now... I suffer from sever anxiety & depression, but am "high functioning" which means everyone thinks I'm happy, confident and have my stuff together - which couldn't be further from the truth.I have a 7 year old and am a single parent - her dad takes her 4 nights a month and pays child support in line with the CSA.

2 years ago I was in an emotionally abusive relationship - which was the start of my major problems. I didn't work much (was just transitioning back after being off with my daughter) and then this bf made us homeless for 5 weeks, reported me for benefit fraud (when there was none), had me arrested for "assaulting" him - which was thrown out and then ended up taking me to court to try and get a restraining order against me. The case was also thrown out but I ended up borrowing from friends to pay him off to basically go away and so my daughter and I could live in the property we were joint tenants in. Despite me telling the lawyers who helped with my case that I wouldn't be able to afford the £2000 they originally quoted me, they told me something along the lines of "ok we'll sort something out" and then presented me with a bill for £5.5k last year.

On top of that there was an HB overpayment of £2400 (despite me repeatedly asking for them to look into my claim and for an Out of Time appeal which has never come to fruition - I believe I am owed approx £5.5 - 6K for a year they say they owe me nothing). And on Thursday I received a £2.5K Tax Credits overpayment notice.

I ended up getting a decent job a couple of months after the ex-bf ordeal but with massive London rents, being forced to move (landlord wanted to sell the property), and childcare costs I am in a hole about £19k deep.

This debt has such a massive impact on my mental health and self worth. I'm crying all the time, feel sick, and for the first time in years, when the tax credits overpayment notice came in, I had suicidal thoughts.

I spent 4 hours on the phone with SC on Friday and they were kind and made a couple of suggestions - their main advice was to do an IVA. I thought this sounded good but so far over the weekend have been doing a lot of reading (on this site and others) and I'm wondering if I would actually be better off just going bankrupt.

The inflexibility of the IVA really scares me, like what if I have another child? Or I lose my job? (possible in this economy as I work for a foreign company in the EMEA HQ) Plus I worry that I won't actually be able to live for 5 years on the small amount I'd have left after the IVA. Whereas with bankruptcy if I do have to pay it would be less and for 3 years. Also what if I start the IVA and can't do it then have to go bankrupt - I'm just prolonging the pain. I'm in my early 40's and I'd love to be back to a good credit rating by the time I'm 50.

I'm worried about the shame of bankruptcy for sure but worry more about the long term impact this is having on my mental health. (I've got an appointment with my GP to deal with this part but it all feels so hopeless.)

Has anyone been here and have any advice? I feel so lost and alone.

Thanks in advance...

NotEvanAPot

My advice contra to an above post is DO NOT inflate on figures given on application or to OR. Be open and honest, do not game the system, and for two very simple reasons; it is fraudulent, you are asked for the numbers to adjudged if you should rightfully be paying anything to disburse to your creditors, and with mental health issues in this topic, but to a greater extent in everyone's BR, you won't spend the undischarged period waiting for someone to question your figures.

The Insolvency Service may not publish figures because they do not wish everyone to follow them, but it is also because each OR office has different amounts and an element of discretion.

Good luck with BR (which seems like your best route), and keep in touch here as support with a smattering of black humour can make the 12 months fly by.

DEBTMONKEY1A

Notevenapot-I was NOT saying inflate figures at all-just to realistically allow for any future changes, etc. You'll find if you go through the Step Change Debt Remedy (the OP might like to do this before calling them if she's nervous) & you put in a figure thats too high it will suggest a maximum figure based on th OP'S circumstances & also will take into account looking after her child etc.....

When you go through Debt remedy it brings up LOADS of things you probably would not have thought of budgeting for....problem being if you do your own budget it would be I guess a nightmare to change afterwards. What I was getting at (in my not too well worded way lol!) was you need to allow for ALL eventualities & fill in the Debt Remedy tool & then call Step Change (or call them 1st off if you like)....at least then if you go down the BR route you have all your necesary outgoings FULLY covered...I'm sure Step Change Rachel would agree with this.

NotEvanAPot

You may not have meant it to deceive, but advising to put in higher than normal costs, this is the very definition of deception, an offence which is now covered under the Fraud Act 2006. You would also be commiting perjury and be liable to be held in contempt of court by pressing submit. Sounds like scare tactics by me, but honesty is the best policy for a blissful nights sleep.

Most OR examiners are humans, emergency funds are permissible if not excessive.

We must all remember here that everything posted is open to outside eyes. Most don't give their name and location, but widespread advice to fiddle the figures can easily result in an internal memo around the Insolvency Service advising to ask for some proof of outgoings to be submitted. They cannot do this retrospectively, so our actions can only affect those who come across these pages in the future. Let's not cause them harm.

DEBTMONKEY1A

Hi-main gist of my mail was to use Step Change -either Debt Remedy or spaeak in perosn. What I was getting at is that they have realistic figures based on clients circumstances (I believe based on the common financial statement) & would tell anyone if figures were too high/low/unrealistic. If figures are Ok'd by a leading Debt Charity prior to filling in the BR forms then no one will lose sleep...I hardly think if the OP gave a figure for say housekeeping & Step Change advised it was unrealistically low for the OP'S circumstances thats hardly fraud or perjury? I think the words you've used are possibly not the best given the OP has mental health issues. I've been through the BR process myself & the figures a debt advisor gave me were higher than I put down-the charity actually said 'this is unrealistically low-you need to put a higher amount'. MM175-ignore these words like perjury & deception-go through the figures from a respectable source-a debt charity such as Step Change (there are other debt charities but Step Change are on the money with up to date figures/legislation etc) & go BR-your troubles will be behind you!

NotEvanAPot

I'm not reverting to type here, I gave myself a break from MSE for a reason (until someone positively reminded me that whilst I may be abrupt, I offered some handy advice and information), but with a bit of know how on these issues, please don't take the below the wrong way DEBTMONKEY1A.

Firstly, what a debt charity says over the phone based on an individuals circumstances, and what you are advising are night and day. You are extolling the virtues of fibbing by covering it up with niceties. Perjury and deception are the ultimate consequences of lying and being caught. As mental health is a factor, my advice of complete honesty to aid a peaceful mind are for a very clear reason. No one wants to be waiting for a tap on the shoulder.

Secondly, let MM1975 speak to a debt charity or post up some figures here. All circumstances are different, hence my comment on OR humanity and it's inference to discretion.

Finally, a little reality thrown in means everyone isn't floating on silky clouds of blissful ignorance. My style of posting is to provide a balance to many topics, in my own way. I've actively not shouted WRONG and demanded a public hanging (on this occasion...) but please understand that as BR is a legal process, I have some experience in highlighting pitfalls in actions and their consequences.